These days, parents and grandparents have so much information right at our fingertips. We're able to look up different parenting styles like FAFO, free-range, authoritative, authoritarian, gentle and more, deciding which one we feel the most comfortable with (and maybe learning more about our own upbringing and its impact on us at the same time). As we scroll, we can easily gain insight into expert-backed habits to start with our families or unhealthy parenting habits to avoid.There's even plenty of content around well-meaning mistakes that moms, dads, grandmas and grandpas frequently make, and what to do instead. While this knowledge can feel overwhelming at times—like learning what questions to avoid asking your kids or grandkids—it can also be empowering.Parent coach Kristin Gallant and licensed therapist Deena Margolin of "Big Little Feelings" (their IG platform alone has 3.5M followers), know this well, and they're on a mission to spread that empowerment to others. Now, Gallant is sharing four common phrases to avoid using right after school, and what to say or do instead. Plus, she's here to affirm you and provide genius tips if you feel like after-school meltdowns are happening more and more often.Related: The Surprising Phrase You Should Stop Saying to Your Child or Grandchild—and What To Say Instead
4 Phrases Parents and Grandparents Should Avoid Using After School—and Why
One of the most common questions that parents and grandparents ask kids after school is one that parenting experts don't usually recommend: "How was your day?""The truth is: 'How was your day?' isn’t bad, but it usually doesn’t get you much more than 'Fine' or 'Good,'" Gallant explains. "Why? After school, kids’ brains are maxed out. They’ve been 'on' all day, following rules, sitting still, managing social dynamics. By the time they get home, they’re tapped out. Big, open-ended questions can feel like one more demand on their already drained brains."Besides that go-to question, she reveals three more phrases to avoid right after school:
Related: The #1 Hack To Get Your Child or Grandchild’s Attention Without Yelling
Instead of using one of the phrases above, Gallant recommends a different approach.
"Try short, connection-focused questions that invite conversation without pressure," she suggests, offering the following examples:
“What made you smile today?”“What was the yummiest thing you ate at lunch?”“Who did you sit next to?”"Or skip questions altogether and connect through play, a snack or a hug," she continues. "Connection first, conversation later."
You can also be on the lookout for openings that they bring up themselves."One of our favorite tricks: let them lead," Gallant tells Parade. "If they bring up Minecraft, or who sat next to who in the cafeteria, lean in! That’s the gold."Related: 10 Things Every Kid Needs To Hear From Their Parents and Grandparents, Child Psychologists Say
After-School Meltdowns
After-school conversations aren't the only thing on the minds of parents and grandparents—we also have to plan for meltdowns. These emotional outbursts might seem more "random" and without a specific cause, contrary to what you might have seen in the summer, for example.
"Summer meltdowns often come from unstructured days, transitions or sibling conflicts," Gallant tells Parade. "But during the school year, meltdowns usually show up as after-school restraint collapse: kids hold it together all day, then 'fall apart' when they get home, because home is their safe place."
She explains that parents might notice:
Extra tears over “little” things (like not cutting their snack the "correct" way).Explosive tantrums right at pickup.Seeming “fine” all day, then a total emotional flood at night.What helps:
"Expect it," Gallant says. "Plan for a 20-minute decompression window after school.""Offer snacks, quiet time or physical activity before diving into homework or questions," she recommends."Anchor them with calm presence, your calm nervous system helps regulate theirs," she explains.View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Toddler Experts (@biglittlefeelings)
Up Next:
Related: The Genius Trick for Easier Mornings With Kids: 'It Changes Everything'
Source:
Courtesy Alex Stone Photography
Kristin Gallant, parent coach with "Big Little Feelings." With a background in international affairs and a concentration in maternal and child education, Kristin is a vocal mental health advocate whose mom-of-three realness shows you how to make that expert advice work in your home.Hence then, the article about 4 phrases parents and grandparents should avoid using right after school and why was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( 4 Phrases Parents and Grandparents Should Avoid Using Right After School—and Why )
Also on site :
- Crews respond to large fire at Denny Hamlin's parents' house in Stanley: Sources
- Reported tornado rips roofs off multiple homes in central Illinois
- Heidi Klum ditches bikini top to cozy up to husband Tom Kaulitz during St. Barths vacation