"Name-calling is an attack on our personhood. Someone else is defining [us]," says Dr. Kain. "The idea that we are these things, that these are essential traits we cannot change about ourselves, leaves us feeling hopeless and depressed."And it doesn't necessarily matter that a lot of time has passed since the inciting incident. "Years later, those same words may still echo, causing [people] to question their value," Dr. Mazer explains. She says this can manifest in depression or "a tendency to withdraw socially," as an adult.
2. Anxiety
Dr. Mazer says it's not uncommon for children who were called names to become people pleasers as adults, "in the hope of gaining acceptance," she says. She adds that "in an effort to avoid criticism," they will often "go out of their way" for others. Like the anxiety trait, this one has a similar crux: preventing negative feedback or stopping criticism before it can take place.Related: These 7 ‘Nice Girl’ Behaviors Could Actually Be Hurting You, According to Psychologists
4. Perfectionism
Dr. Mazer says a common result of childhood name-calling is low self-esteem as an adult. She shares that people may be "unsure of their value" or question their abilities, "even in the face of real achievements." Dr. Mazer adds that they may be extra sensitive to rejection and view "even neutral comments as criticism."And Dr. Kain adds that it's common for the adults to exhibit negative self-talk, where they may even "continue the childhood trauma by calling themselves names."
6. Body dysmorphia
"Even if we leave the names we were called behind, there may be residual shame," Dr. Kain says. He adds that, "in an attempt to avoid feelings of embarrassment," adults may try to block out these traumatic parts of their childhood, which can affect the relationships they try to form as adults."Add to that any feelings of shame based on the lingering belief that the name callers may have been right about who we were as a child," he shares. "And we will be reluctant to let people truly get to know us... It's hard to be in an intimate relationship when you won't talk about your past."
8. Fear of opening up
People who were called "stupid" when they were young may grow into adults who "doubt their intelligence," says Dr. Mazer.Dr. Kain says that this type of childhood name-calling is particularly common for kids who deal with learning disabilities, and it can lead to them feeling "inferior to colleagues" in work settings later in life.He adds that bullying associated with intelligence specifically can cause adults to avoid trying to learn new things. "I often see this in adult clients who are very intelligent, but because someone in a position of power called them 'stupid,' they won't attempt to learn new computer skills, change careers or go back to school," he shares.
10. Lack of motivation
11. Distrust
"Early childhood experiences of name-calling and bullying teach us people aren't trustworthy," Dr. Kain says, adding that it's particularly egregious if the bullying comes from a loved one like a parent. "We learn that we can't rely on others to care for us. We learn that people aren't safe," he adds.This can make forming healthy relationships as an adult very hard, says Dr. Mazer, adding that people may be fearful "that letting someone in could lead to the same kind of hurt they experienced in the past."Related: People Who Were ‘Coddled’ as Children Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say
Tips for Healing From Childhood Name-Calling
Related: People Who Grew up With Super-Negative Parents Often Develop These 12 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say
Sources:
Dr. Craig Kain is a licensed psychologist providing therapy and counseling services in California.Dr. Stefanie Mazer is a licensed psychologist providing in-person services in Florida and Telepsychology services across 42 states.Hence then, the article about people who were name called in childhood often develop these 11 traits as adults psychologists say was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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