These days, it's normal to scroll through social media and see psychologists warning about certain negative behaviors like gaslighting and manipulation. But lately (and perhaps surprisingly), "people-pleasing" has also been getting more attention. Merriam-Webster defines a "people-pleaser" as "someone or something that pleases or wants to please people" or "a person who has an emotional need to please others often at the expense of his or her own needs or desires." And in this age of burnout, overcommitment and validation-seeking, it's more important than ever to dig deeper into the impact of, and the why behind people-pleasing.Meg Josephson, LCSW, psychotherapist and author of Are You Mad at Me? How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You (released August 5), is passionate about keeping the spotlight on this behavior—but making sure we're all focusing on the right things. She's begging individuals (and society, as a whole) to stop believing a few common myths related to the way we think about people-pleasing—including the #1 myth she wants to nix for good.Related: If You’re a People-Pleaser, You’ve Probably Said These 7 Things Before
The #1 Myth About People-Pleasers, According to a Psychotherapist
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Myth: Speaking up means you're not being nice
"People-pleasers may often say, 'But I can’t speak up, I need to be nice!' And of course, this comes from a self-protective place of wanting to be seen as 'good' and 'perfect,'" Josephson shares. "I always like to differentiate nice vs. compassionate. Nice is about being seen as nice, and maybe we’re doing something nice on the outside but on the inside, we’re resentful and angry. Is that being nice? Compassionate, on the other hand, is coming from an authentic place, where how we’re acting aligns with how we’re feeling."Wondering how that looks in the real world?"Sometimes, being compassionate means saying no, or being firm," she continues. "Nice is about reducing short-term discomfort and promoting short-term harmony, whereas compassion may lead to discomfort now, but ultimately has more harmony longterm."
Related: Individuals Who Grew Up as 'People-Pleasers' Usually Develop These 12 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say
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Meg Josephson, LCSW is a full-time psychotherapist with over five hundred thousand followers and millions of likes across social media platforms, and author of Are You Mad at Me? How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You. She holds a Master of Social Work from Columbia University with a concentration in clinical practice and received her meditation teacher certification from the Nalanda Institute in New York City.Hence then, the article about a psychotherapist is begging everyone to stop believing this common myth about people pleasers was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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