You may not even realize it, but Dr. Harrison says you could be giving off a subtle, unapproachable energy with your mannerisms and how you respond to certain situations."Giving off a bad vibe' means unintentionally projecting energy, through words, tone and body language, that others perceive as negative, inauthentic, or that make one appear unapproachable," she explains. "It often triggers discomfort and mistrust, even when no harm is intended. Since our brains are wired to detect dissonance between what someone says and how they say it, the non-verbal signals which inform our emotional responses are exceedingly influential and powerful in shaping our interactions."While we can't control the energy that others put out, we can control our response to it. Dr. Harrison says thathow we choose to interpret the energetic signals that come our way is a determinant of how someone else will respond. Even if we feel defensive, it's important not to project our own negative feelings or energy toward others in response. This only creates a negative feedback loop that isn't good for anyone involved. It also helps us to be more aware of how we can sometimes project our own emotions like defensiveness and jealously, onto others without realizing it.Related: 6 Subtle 'Dry Begging' Phrases People Use To Manipulate Others, Psychologists Warn
9 Phrases That Give Off a Bad Vibe Without You Even Realizing It, According to a Psychologist
2. “You knew what you were getting into.”
This is just another way of saying "I told you so" and it doesn't exactly position you as someone trustworthy. In order for people to feel safe telling you their struggles, it's important to avoid this.Dr. Harrison says, "Shifting the onus of responsibility is a classic shutdown for the growth of a relationship. Often said out of fear of self-examination, this defensive tactic avoids responsibility and can be viewed as cowardly."No one can truly know what's going to happen in the future, but saying this implies that someone should. It also contributes to a cynical worldview and doesn't foster strong relationships.Related: 5 Things Classy People Never, Ever Reveal About Themselves in Public, According to an Etiquette Expert
4. "Why do you care?"
Asking someone this can indicate a huge lack of compassion and even selfishness. It's important not to question why someone is upset about something if you want to be viewed as trustworthy and positive, avoid this phrase at all costs."Resist the urge to feed into the apathy," she says. "Beneath this statement is a well of pent-up emotion that we resist from fear of overwhelm. Titrated drops of vulnerability combined with open-hearted listening really can change the brain."Related: Self-Absorbed People Often Display These 12 Traits Without Realizing It, Psychologists Say
6. "I'm not sure what you're talking about."
This phrase doesn't always give off a good vibe—even if you're just genuinely confused by something. It especially can, though, if you're using it in an argument with a partner who brought up recent behavior of yours that didn't foster a healthy relationship. Harris explains this one further."In both romantic and professional settings, gaslighting phrases such as this can feel invalidating and disconnected, amplifying feelings of being dismissed and unsupported," she shares. "Phrases which make one’s mind feel like it’s on an endless replay loop signal our nervous systems into hyper-alert. The result is self-doubt and loss of self-esteem, when in reality, the endless obsessive rumination is just our brains trying to fit anomalous information into a pattern."Deflecting and turning the conversation back on someone else are just tactics people often use to avoid the real issue they don’t want to talk about. Dr. Harrison adds, "If you are the one who tends to use this phrase as clarifying or are genuinely feeling confused, then recognize this will likely be defensively received."Related: 9 Subtle Signs of Gaslighting That Are Often Easy to Miss, According to Psychologists
8. "I'm not changing who I am."
Change in life is constant, and according to Dr. Harrison, it's good to continue to evolve along the way. Saying you'll never change who you are isn't supportive of your own growth and, once again, indicates a self-serving nature."Change is one of life’s constants," she explains. "Putting up a stop sign to development signals insecurity and a tenuous grip on self-awareness disguised as 'confidence.' Emotionally intelligent people view an unwillingness to change as overly rigid and highlights a refusal to adapt."While it's important to stay true to yourself, Dr. Harrison adds that it's equally as important to create space for growth in yourself and relationships—otherwise you're doing yourself a disservice. It requires a level of vulnerability, but it's essential for building trust and emotiol resonance with others.Related: Jefferson Fisher Is Begging People To Stop Making This Communication Mistake at Work
9. "It's all good."
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Related: 12 Habits That Give Off a Bad Vibe Without You Even Realizing It, According to Psychologists
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Dr. Kirsten Viola Harrison Psy.D., a licensed psychologist specializing in trauma disorders and a spiritual integration coach Read More Details
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