Patience is an important skill for people of all ages—and it’s also one that can be very difficult to learn. This is especially true for children, who are still developing and learning to regulate their emotions.
Because of this, doing hobbies with your children that teach them restraint and tolerance for waiting can be very beneficial, as it can give them a strong foundation to become a patient person as they get older. That being said, what are the best activities for teaching kids patience?
To find out, we turned to three child psychologists: Dr. Sally Nazari, a licensed psychologist and the founder of Chrysalis Psychological Services, where she works with kids, teens and families; Dr. Amy Marschall, PsyD, a licensed psychologist in private practice, primarily serving children and adolescents; and Dr. David Guggenheim, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and the National Director of Psychotherapy at Talkiatry.
Interestingly, all three experts agreed on one pastime that is fantastic for teaching children how to have the capacity to pause.
“Throughout our lives, we will spend countless hours waiting—waiting for laundry to finish, waiting at a traffic light, waiting for a delivery, waiting for a baby to be born,” Dr. Guggenheim tells Parade. “Developing patience is crucial not just for adults, but also for children, who sometimes feel like a few minutes is an eternity.”
Keep reading for their insights and to find out what activities can teach kids patience.
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Why Teaching Kids Patience Is So Important
“Patience teaches kids that frustration, boredom and wanting something right now are feelings they can sit with,” Dr. Nazari explains. “That’s a big lesson, and once a child starts to learn it, it shows up everywhere: in how they handle big emotions, work through problems, get along with other people, and stick with something hard even when the payoff is a ways off.”
Dr. Marschall points out that “kids’ frontal lobes are still developing, so they have literally not yet grown the ability to regulate themselves, wait for something they want right now or hold off on an impulse.”
“Patience is a skill like a muscle that can grow the more we exercise it, so kids need to learn to tolerate waiting and uncertainty,” she adds. “This not only builds patience but flexibility and other executive functioning skills.”
Dr. Guggenheim agrees.
“Having patience doesn’t just mean being ‘able’ to wait; it also means being able to emotionally regulate while waiting—to handle the discomfort and frustration that can come with it,” he says.
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3 Child Psychologists Agree That This Activity Can Help Kids Learn Patience
Dr. Nazari, Dr. Marschall and Dr. Guggenheim all agree that one of the best activities to teach kids patience is cooking and baking.
How Baking and Cooking Can Help Kids Learn Patience
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“The kitchen has patience built right in,” explains Dr. Nazari. “You have to measure, follow the steps in order and wait for the dough to rise or the cookies to bake, and there’s no way to hurry any of it along. Kids get to see, in a very concrete way, that staying with the process actually pays off, usually in something delicious.”
Dr. Marschall shares something similar, adding that “the process of preparing food shows kids in real time how patience is bringing them closer to what they want.”
“The act of cooking or baking provides built-in opportunities to practice problem-solving, flexibility and frustration tolerance,” she says. “Since kids shouldn’t be cooking or baking on their own, you can model these skills in real time as you do the activity together.”
Dr. Guggenheim states that “cooking (especially baking) is an excellent activity” to help build children’s capacity for waiting.
“Not only does it teach kids to follow instructions, but it’s also a great lesson in delayed gratification, with a concrete reward (e.g., cookies!) at the end,” he notes. “It can even help kids learn to handle disappointment when things don’t turn out as planned.”
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How To Teach Kids Patience With Baking and Cooking
When baking or cooking with kids, Dr. Nazari recommends naming kids’ emotions for them. For example, if your child is getting impatient while waiting for the cookies to bake, you might say, “It smells so good, and you really want it to be ready. We’ve got 10 more minutes.”
“When you say that calmly, a child learns they can want something badly and still wait for it. Both can be true at once,” she explains.
Dr. Marschall recommends tailoring the cooking experience to your specific child.
“Remember that a child’s frontal lobe is not yet developed,” she points out again. “Things that we take for granted as adults, like being able to wait, manage multiple tasks at once and control our impulses, are impossible for young children who have not yet built these skills. Take into account your child’s age, developmental level, sensory needs and attention span. And remember that this activity should be a fun, bonding moment, not just a teaching moment.”
Dr. Guggenheim encourages parents to take their time when cooking or baking with kids, since “part of learning patience is learning to slow down.”
“You might slowly measure and pour ingredients with your child, or share your own excitement while modeling your ability to be patient,” he suggests. “Keep in mind that instructions like ‘be patient!’ aren’t always effective, but modeling skills such as distraction can be really helpful.”
For example, you might sing a song with your little ones or play a game like I Spy while waiting for food to bake.
Related: Why Child Psychologists Say You Should Stop Telling Kids ‘I’m Proud of You’
4 Other Psychologist-Approved Activities That Can Teach Kids Patience
1. Gardening
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All three psychologists recommend gardening as another activity for teaching kids patience.
“You have to practice patience when gardening as your plants grow,” says Dr. Marschall. “It can take weeks before you see any kind of progress at all. You have to cultivate the garden every day even though you can’t see the growth day to day.”
“You can’t make a seed sprout faster by wanting it to, and kids figure that out quickly,” Dr. Nazari adds. “Watering, checking and noticing tiny changes over days and weeks helps them see that waiting isn’t the same as doing nothing; it’s active. They also get a sense of responsibility, and the fun of watching something grow because they took care of it.”
Dr. Guggenheim not only suggests gardening for teaching tolerance, but also as a “great way for children to learn longer-term patience.”
“Watering a plant every day comes with a big reward at the end!” he shares.
2. Jigsaw puzzles
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Dr. Nazari recommends jigsaw puzzles, as these can “show kids that progress usually comes a little at a time.”
“When a piece won’t fit, they have to ride out that small flash of frustration, try something else and keep going without knowing when it’ll all click,” she shares. “Patience and persistence get to grow side by side.”
Related: 3 Psychologists Agree This Is the Most ‘Underrated’ Positive Parenting Habit
3. Board games
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“Board games involve taking turns and coping when things don’t go your way,” explains Dr. Marschall. “You have to cope with things as they come up in real time, and you have to wait your turn. All of this occurs while having fun!”
4. LEGO blocks
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“With LEGO sets, you’re starting from scratch while seeing a picture of the end product (e.g., a Star Wars ship),” states Dr. Guggenheim.
“Getting from point A to point B requires a lot of patience as instructions are slowly reviewed and the right pieces are found and put together,” he explains. “Sometimes these sets can be challenging (even for adults!), allowing that challenge and sitting with some discomfort of a slow process can help kids practice emotional regulation.”
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Sources:
Dr. Sally Nazari is a licensed psychologist and the founder of Chrysalis Psychological Services. Dr. Amy Marschall, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist in private practice. Dr. David Guggenheim, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist and the National Director of Psychotherapy at Talkiatry.Hence then, the article about we asked 3 child psychologists what activity helps kids learn patience they all said the same thing was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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