On a college campus, even the simplest activities can become social outings. Going to the dining hall, grabbing coffee or attending a campus event often comes with an unspoken expectation: bringing someone along.
But as students navigate friendships, independence and their place at college, some are beginning to challenge that expectation. The pressure to always have someone to go somewhere with can leave students hesitant to participate in experiences on their own, reinforcing a culture where being alone is mistaken for being disconnected.
In a campus environment built around connection, students are beginning to reconsider what community actually looks like, and whether learning to show up alone might be part of finding it.
For Christopher Shipp, a freshman communications major, attending events without a friend has been a foreign experience, but one that has benefited him during his time at the University.
“I think going out of my comfort zone gives me more room to grow and helps me process more things, so that I can meet new people and be a little more open minded about the connections I am making,” Shipp said.
Shipp said that since coming to college, he has hesitated to go places alone in fear of not being able to meet people. Now, he is embarking on more solo adventures, without someone else to be his buffer.
“I think deciding to go without company lately has been giving me more of a sense of independence, and sometimes people need their alone time,” Shipp said.
While having people to share experiences with can make college more meaningful, the absence of company should not determine whether students participate in campus life. For some, learning to embrace their own company is becoming an important part of navigating college.
Geraldine Flores, a sophomore political science major, said stepping outside of her presumptions about attending an event was scary to think about, but now has helped her build her social life and community around her.
“I feel like I would have not made the friends that I had made or bonded with people if I did not choose to go alone,” Flores said. “I have met so many friends from campus events and service events I went to by myself.”
Flores said in the past she has hesitated to go to events due to not knowing many people, but she has grown to be more confident in attending with no company, in hopes to meet someone new. She also expressed that even if she does have a friend with her, they are all open to building community and getting to know new people.
“I honestly think sometimes it is not bad to have a friend going with you,” Flores said. “Sometimes your friend will know more people there than you and you can make new friends.”
Still, changing that mindset requires students to confront the social expectations that often shape their college experiences. Jayon Slater, a junior criminal justice major, said he has become comfortable with his own company over time.
“One time I went to karaoke by myself, and honestly I like to go because I love to sing, and although I have social anxiety it has been a great way to make friends,” Slater said.
Slater said he has worked on going places with a large group of friends, because at times it can look as if someone already has all the connections they want. He said he encourages others to interact with people they do not know and step outside of the normal.
“Honestly, I feel like over my time here stepping out and doing different things has worked for me,” Slater said, “I have found my community and so many groups of people who love to do the same things as me.”
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