In the age of smartphones and Amazon same-day delivery, there’s a sense of instant gratification that comes from doing pretty much anything today. While constant communication and instant entertainment have made convenience our middle names, psychologists think that they’ve also changed the way we experience emotions like patience, waiting and boredom in a big way. We’re so used to getting what we want immediately that we’ve forgotten something valuable.
Dr. Crystal Saidi, PsyD, a licensed psychologist, says that waiting and anticipation have essentially become a lost art. We’re so used to getting the things we want and need right away that waiting can feel more like a frustration or inconvenience rather than a natural, necessary part of life. These moments of patience, however, are way more valuable than you’d initially think.
Reclaiming the lost art of patience is one that she says we should all learn to do. Not only can it provide us with valuable opportunities to build emotional resilience, it can also bring hidden mental health benefits. So, how can we reclaim this forgotten skill in a culture that expects everything now? Dr. Saidi has us covered! With some small, intentional tweaks to your thinking and routine, it’s more than possible. Read on below for everything she has to share on this topic.
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What We Lost When Waiting Disappeared: The Psychological Shift
One-click shopping, streaming services and social media, among other things, have made most of the things we need to survive available instantly. While this has certainly made life easier in a lot of ways, Dr. Saidi says that there’s a downside to this.
“We can order groceries, food, shop for clothes and communicate with others with just a click of a button,” she shares. “It is nice to have convenience, however, it also seems to condition us to expect immediate rewards. In my opinion, we have lost the art of waiting and having patience. When almost everything is available instantly, we have fewer opportunities to tolerate discomfort and uncertainty.”
Waiting can offer us a chance to develop patience while also learning how to manage frustration and live with uncertainty. Not everything in life happens instantly—whether that’s a relationship, achieving a big goal, buying a home, having children, etc., the list goes on!
And because we’ve forgotten the skill of patience, it feels like we’ve also lost something else that’s important.
“I feel like we have also lost the art of anticipation,” Dr. Saidi continues. “Sometimes, looking forward to something and waiting is part of what makes it special.”
Your experience shouldn’t be limited to the moment you get something—much of the joy comes from preparing for it and making it part of your memory.
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The Hidden Mental Health Benefits of Waiting and Anticipation
Even though waiting can make you antsy or uncomfortable at times, Dr. Saidi says there are actually some hidden mental health benefits and it can help you develop key emotional skills.
“Waiting can help us build distress tolerance, emotional regulation and resilience,” she states. “Anticipation can also bring joy and excitement.”
Building up your distress tolerance means you’ll have a greater ability to cope with uncomfortable feelings without immediately trying to escape them. In the same vein, if you experience disappointment, impatience or frustration due to something not happening when you want it to, a waiting period can help you manage these reactions and establish control over your behavior. In turn, all of this helps to build emotional maturity over time.
Dr. Saidi also shares that resilience is mostly built through patience and waiting. The ability to keep going even when progress is slow helps us to better manage setbacks and delays in life.
Most importantly, anticipation can be a source of happiness on its own. Looking forward to enjoying a much-needed vacation or life event can bring positive emotions, helping your mental health overall.
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3 Crucial Life Skills Destroyed by Instant Gratification
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1. Sustained attention
Basically, everyone’s attention span is shortening due to the instant gratification nature of our culture.
“Since we are accustomed to constant stimulation and fast rewards, slower activities such studying, solving a challenging puzzle or reading can seem less appealing,” Dr. Saidi states. “We may become more likely to switch tasks when boredom occurs.”
2. Emotional regulation and distress tolerance
Dr. Saidi touched on this above, but waiting and having patience is one of the best ways to build emotional regulation and distress tolerance.
“If we are always escaping frustration as soon as it appears, we get less opportunities to practice managing uncomfortable situations,” she emphasizes.
When things don’t happen immediately, you may experience sadness, irritation or disappointment and learning to thoughtfully respond to that appropriately rather than react from a triggered place helps develop more control.
3. Creative problem-solving
Creativity and problem-solving are two areas in life that often require longer periods of time. After all, that’s the whole point of brainstorming!
“Creativity often involves sitting with a problem versus coming up with an immediate answer,” Dr. Saidi notes. “If we always look for a quick answer, we may miss opportunities to develop independent thinking and persistence.”
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How To Reclaim the Lost Art of Patience in a World That Hates Waiting
If you struggle with the concept of waiting, Dr. Saidi has a few actionable tips to help you build patience along with the crucial emotional skills it brings.
1. Let yourself be bored
For starters, boredom isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
“Try to resist the urge to fill every quiet moment,” she states. “This is especially important to do with children and teens. An example could be waiting in a line without scrolling on your phone. Allow your mind some time to rest without constant stimulation.”
2. Delay rewards
One way to rebuild our tolerance for waiting is to practice delaying small rewards throughout your day.
“Before checking your phone or reaching for a distraction, try to pause for five minutes,” Dr. Saidi explains. “Small delays can help you practice tolerance.”
If you feel the urge to check your phone, open social media or turn on a show, try pausing before acting on that impulse. This gives you a chance to experience the emotion—whether that’s desire or boredom—without immediately responding to it right away.
It may seem like a small exercise, but it also helps you to build self-awareness.
3. Practice anticipation
This exercise can actually be pretty fun.
“Plan something exciting for the future and allow yourself to look forward to it instead of immediately seeking a dopamine hit of excitement,” Dr. Saidi advises. “Anticipation can be rewarding in itself.”
This could be something as simple as planning a dinner or bigger like booking a weekend getaway. The key here is to give the excitement time to percolate. Then, you can fully enjoy the planning process rather than treating it like something to gloss over.
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Source:
Dr. Crystal Saidi, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks in Irvine, CA.Hence then, the article about remember when waiting was just part of life psychologist thinks we lost something valuable was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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