When Did We Stop Eating Together? What Family Therapists Want Parents To Know ...Saudi Arabia

There are so many benefits of eating together as a family. Family therapists say mealtimes with your people are even more important now, as technology advances and it becomes harder to tell what’s real, what’s human-generated and what technology dreamt (or made) up.“Children need real-world reference points for what human conversation sounds like, what genuine connection feels like and what it means to be present with other people without an algorithm mediating the interaction or a virtual audience watching your every move,” Katie Rose, LCSW, a Manhattan-based psychotherapist with over a decade of experience treating individuals, couples, parents and families, tells Parade. 

However, the decline of family dinners began before technological advances and smartphones—they only fanned an already-burning flame.

“Families have so many competing demands now—work, school, sports, activities and, of course, everyone having their own screen,” explains Suzanne Koch Eckenrode, LMFT, BACC, a clinical consultant and therapist at Carlsbad Beach Recovery. “It’s very easy for family members to move through the same house on separate tracks. A shared meal creates a natural pause where everyone is in the same place and provides an opportunity to reconnect.”

For Eckenrode, that’s the point.

“It doesn’t have to be an elaborate dinner or even happen every night,” she shares. “The value is in creating regular moments when a family stops, puts some of the distractions aside and is together.”

OK— but when did families stop eating together? Therapists dig deeper into the cultural shift and psychological benefits of family meals. They also share the effects of not eating dinner as a group and advice for parents on getting everyone around one table at the same time.

Related: We Asked 3 Child Psychologists What After-School Routine Is Best for Kids—They All Said the Same Thing

The Cultural Shift: When Did Families Stop Eating Together?

Family therapists say the decline of family dinners has happened slowly and steadily. No single factor “ended” family mealtime.“This has been a subtle change in our culture as family life became more scheduled and more fragmented,” Rose says.Dual family incomes began rising in the late 1960s and 1970s. By 1978, more than half (51 percent) of married couples were dual-income—a 15 percent surge from 10 years prior.“The rise of dual-income households meant that parents often had less time at home at the end of the day, while the explosion of after-school activities meant children were increasingly being shuttled from one activity to the next during the very hours when families once gathered for dinner,” Rose explains.

And then there is the advent of screens. Color TV entered the chat in the 1950s, and smartphones and other personal devices became commonplace in the late aughts. The iPhone made its debut in 2007.“We’re now living in a culture that is extraordinarily good at asking families to prioritize the future: academic achievement, resume-ready activities, credentialing and more,” the therapist tells Parade. “These things aren’t inherently bad, but when we continually prioritize everything that might make our children successful in the future, we can accidentally deprioritize the mundane experiences that make them feel secure and connected in the present.”Related: Psychologists Rank the 10 Most Emotionally Healthy Daily Habits

What Happens When Families Don’t Eat Together?

While there can be effects of not eating dinner as a family, therapists share it doesn’t make you a “bad” parent if you’re not doing it.“I wouldn’t suggest that something bad automatically happens when a family doesn’t eat dinner together,” Eckenrode states. “What families can miss are the small, informal moments of connection that happen when people regularly spend unstructured time together.”For instance, kids and teens don’t always sit down and say, “Hey, I need to discuss something important.”

“Often, things come out while everyone is doing something else—eating, driving, walking the dog,” she notes. “Regular shared time gives parents more opportunities to notice a change in mood, hear about a small worry before it becomes a bigger one, laugh together or simply know more about what’s happening in one another’s lives.”Dr. Shannon Franklin, PsyD, a licensed psychologist and the Clinical Director of Element Q Healing, adds that kids miss opportunities to see adults listen, disagree respectfully and demonstrate interest in others.Related: We Asked 3 Child Psychologists for the Best Question To Ask Kids at the Dinner Table, and They All Said the Same Thing

4 Psychological Benefits of Eating Together as a Family

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Why is family dinner important? Therapists say there are many psychological benefits to eating dinner together as a family. They shared these effects below.

1. Language development

Little ones don’t learn language from flashcards—they generally learn it by hearing it, and dinner gives them space to do just that.“Family meals naturally create opportunities for children to hear and practice language in a context that is meaningful to them,” Rose explains. “They listen to adults tell stories, learn new vocabulary, ask questions, interrupt, negotiate, explain what happened at school and learn how to follow a conversation.”

2. Communication skills

Beyond building vocabulary, Eckenrode notes that kids can develop communication skills in a safe space. That safe space is important because not all communication is “easy.”“Children… practice listening, waiting for a turn to speak, asking questions, tolerating differing viewpoints and repairing minor misunderstandings,” Eckenrode says. “These basic conversation processes are repeated through family dinners, and children then take these skills to their eventual friendships, relationships, teachers and work associates.”

3. Trust and connection

Parents often want to “plan” and “curate” their children’s lives, filling them with enriching adventures. There’s a time and place for these moments, but Rose is begging people not to overlook the little ones. “Children don’t necessarily build their strongest relationships with parents through big, orchestrated conversations,” she notes. “They are built through small interactions in which they learn that their parents are interested in them, listen to them, laugh with them and show up consistently.”Dinner provides a regular time for this connection.

4. Routine and regulation

Family therapists aren’t looking for parents to create rigid mealtime schedules, but rather for consistent opportunities to connect that help children develop.“Children generally do better when life has a predictable rhythm, and a family meal can become an important anchor in that rhythm,” Rose says.Dr. Franklin agrees that consistency is useful.“Familiarity in an anticipated mealtime may allow the child to recognize that [they have] consistent access to [their] caregiver or caregivers, which may assist with making difficult communications less daunting due to the fact that communications are already part of the routine,” she reveals.

What Family Therapists Want Parents To Know

Does all of the above make you feel guilty about underestimating the importance of eating together as a family? Rose hopes not.“There’s no one correct way to parent, and we don’t want families walking away from this feeling like they’ve failed because they aren’t sitting around a candlelit table eating a home-cooked meal every night,” she emphasizes.

Eckenrode also wants parents to loosen their grip on making “Pinterest Perfect” the goal of family dinner. “The goal is connection, not perfection,” she points out. “If dinner isn’t realistic for your family, there are other ways to create that same opportunity to be together.”Related: We Asked 4 Child Psychologists What Actually Motivates Kids—They All Said the Same Thing

How Often Should a Family Eat Together?

Set the table? Absolutely. Set the number of family meals? Not so much, therapists say. “Aim for consistency,” Rose says. “Ideally, families will eat together every night—seven nights a week. But if that’s unreasonable, maybe it’s just during the work week.”She says you and your kids can still enjoy the benefits of eating together as a family once a week, “so long as that night is protected and everyone knows not to schedule anything during that time.”“I would much rather see a family have one reliable meal together every week than set an unrealistic goal of seven nights and abandon the whole thing after two weeks,” the therapist states.

5 Therapist-Approved Tips To Bring Back the Family Meal

Breaking the routine of TV dinners (or breakfasts), or meals eaten while one caregiver takes one child to soccer and the other chauffeurs a kid to dance, can be hard. Here’s some family therapist advice for parents in reclaiming mealtime.

1. Make it special

You don’t need to have candlelit dinners, but Rose likes the idea for reasons beyond aesthetics. She likes to make meals feel different by lighting a candle at the start and blowing it out at the end.

“There’s something inherently calming about watching a flame,” she says. “Lighting the candle signals that we’ve arrived at the meal and that this moment is a little different from everything that came before it.”

Plus, she says the chance to blow out the candle can often get kids to come to the table at all.

2. Have kids prepare the meal

Rose loves that this idea gets kids invested.

“Children are often more interested in eating food they’ve had a hand in making, whether that means shopping for the ingredients, washing vegetables, stirring a sauce or helping set the table,” she says. “But there’s another benefit: cooking together creates another opportunity for conversation and connection before you even sit down.”

3. Create screen time rules

This one is hard but important.

“Create a time frame of no phone use—screen-free—to help children understand what you mean by ‘no’ as opposed to viewing technology as an enemy,” Dr. Franklin says. “For example, take all phones into another room and place them on a table. The phones will be off for 20 minutes, which includes Mom and Dad’s phones.”

She emphasizes that “children are much more likely to follow the rules when they see their role models doing the same.”

4. Be flexible about which meal happens together

“It’s not like dinnertime is the best and only time to connect,” Rose reveals. “If mornings are more reasonable for your family, prioritize a sit-down breakfast together. The routine matters far more than the particular meal or time of day.”

So why all the fuss about dinner?

“Dinnertime is a kind of safety net because it naturally captures everyone at the end of the day and helps the family unwind together,” she explains. “It gives you a chance to transition as a family toward sleep and maybe process what happened that day. But you can create that same ritual in other ways.”

You have to do what works best for your family.

5. Keep conversation curious, not corrective

Eckenrode says kids won’t look forward to family dinners that become an interrogation about grades, chores, missing assignments or what somebody did wrong that day.

“Be curious,” she says. “Ask questions. Let them tell stories. Laugh. Talk about something ridiculous that happened that day or something going on in the world.”

Around the dinner table, Eckenrode says children can learn: “My family doesn’t just want information from me. They enjoy knowing me.”

Related: We Asked 3 Child Psychologists the One Thing Grandkids Need Most From Their Grandparents—They All Said the Same Thing

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Hence then, the article about when did we stop eating together what family therapists want parents to know was published today ( Friday 23/10/2026 - 01:27 AM ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.

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