This article contains spoilers for The Celebrity Traitors
It will come as a surprise to very few that Richard E Grant, known for his arch turns in the likes of Withnail and I, Can You Ever Forgive Me and Saltburn, has stolen the show in the much-anticipated first episode of The Celebrity Traitors series two. From the very beginning, as the ridiculously starry cast of 21 celebrities arrived one by one in a creepy chapel, nervous and giggling, he could barely contain his glee. He grinned maniacally in the diary room and paced excitedly around the castle, his happiness occasionally verging on delirium.
And delirium would be a good way to explain what happened next. Of course he was going to be a Traitor – how could Claudia and the producers not pick him, when it seemed as though his life depended on it? – but the immediate aftermath of the selection at the roundtable, tense as ever, Claudia’s shoes clip-clopping on the floor as everyone tried not to breathe, was beyond what anyone could have anticipated.
Walking into the bar once he and sweet, bubbly TV presenter Maya Jama had been chosen as Traitors, comedian Rob Beckett asked him if he was a Faithful or a Traitor. “Oh, I’m a Traitor,” said Richard – cue the producers’ room, and the entire nation, screaming, crying, throwing up, not yet sure if this was a masterful double-bluff or a total cock-up.
Could there be a more exquisite way to begin a series which, against all odds and six series in (including the civilian version), is showing no signs of getting old? There is a reason real celebrities (Michael Sheen, Bella Ramsey, Joe Lycett and Miranda Hart are among the British treasures this year) are keen to do it – most of the cast are genuine fans.
The parlour-game-cum-reality-TV-show has consistently had record ratings and has singlehandedly revived the concept of water-cooler television for the 2020s. It’s precisely because of wholly unpredictable moments like this – and the generally ridiculous high-camp of it all, such as Claudia Winkleman being carried into the chapel, in the opening scene, in a coffin, then bursting out of it like some absurd, fake-tanned Count Dracula – that it stays fresh and exciting.
Claudia Winkleman is like an absurd, fake-tanned Count Dracula (Photo: BBC)Spoiler alert: it was a cock-up. Richard’s blunder will no doubt define the rest of the series. He spent the remainder of the episode laughing his head off about it in the diary room, while Maya tried to plot how on earth they’re going to recover (it has set her up as the boss: “Doggy, let’s go,” she told Richard in the tower; “Woof,” he dutifully replied). Meanwhile, the Faithfuls were left to confer in utter confusion about why he would have said it.
Jerry Hall – all Texan drawl and nonchalant glamour, “manning the crowbar” in the first challenge – impressed upon everyone that she has known Richard for years, that they are neighbours, and that he could not possibly be a Traitor. It was just nerves, just a joke, just… Oh, it’s just good stuff.
The rest of the cast showed early signs of giving the first series’ contestants a run for their money on the entertainment factor: Ross Kemp muscled into the first mission, which involved rescuing treasure from a shipwreck in a lake, like a tank, then became incredibly paranoid when Bella totally innocently plonked a captain’s hat on his head at the end, thinking he’d been “murdered in plain sight”. Later, he worried that Little Mix’s Leigh-Anne Pinnock touching him kindly on the arm was a similar act of treachery. (If he keeps this up, he might not be long for this world.)
Elsewhere, James Blunt was already riffing about putting butter on his nipples, Romesh Ranganathan and Rob Beckett – who are close friends outside the castle – were bantering left, right and centre, and Industry star Myha’la brought a wonderfully louche LA vibe to proceedings (I suspect she might prove to be a dark horse for the Faithfuls).
This year’s first episode also came with a twist – the two Traitors, at the end of the episode, must recruit a third, a useful position for Richard to root out whoever is most suspicious of him. They selected two Faithfuls to come back to the chapel and essentially audition for their role as a Traitor; the other will be murdered. James Acaster and Amol Rajan, the two Faithfuls on Richard’s tail, made their pleas, Amol’s sounding like it could be posted on LinkedIn (he outlined the “three pillars” of why he should survive and then argued he is “uniquely placed” for the role). Then, in true macabre fashion, they climbed into their own coffins, and we wait for tomorrow night for one lid to shut forever.
Last year’s celebrity version, buoyed by, among other things, Alan Carr’s magnificently deceptive winning performance and Celia Imrie’s BAFTA-worthy fart, could easily have been an anomaly, a runaway success created by its unique circumstances. But once again The Traitors shows that you never can quite predict how people will behave in this incredibly exposing game, and that the inclusion of celebrities – with all their ego and bluster, and our prior expectations of them – makes that all the more interesting to watch.
This is the only show that could be completely sabotaged in the first episode and for that to somehow make it even better. I love television. I love The Celebrity Traitors. And I love Richard E Grant, who is so happy to be involved that he has single-handedly set up the trajectory for what might be the best series yet.
‘The Celebrity Traitors’ continues tomorrow at 8pm on BBC One
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