You can get together virtually these days—FaceTiming coffee dates, happy hours, wine tastings, card games and more. It’s great to be able to connect with friends and family who live in different states, countries and even on separate continents. Yet etiquette experts say in-person interactions are still king.
“As social creatures designed for community, we crave connection,” Jennifer Porter, an etiquette expert with Satsuma Designs LLC, tells Parade. “There are many ways to build bonds, but two excellent ways are through shared experiences and unstructured time to grow deeper, closer connections.”
Knowing how to be a good host helps, especially if many of your family members and friends live far away. On the flip side, you’ll also want a firm grasp of proper overnight guest etiquette if you’re the one sleeping in the spare bedroom.
“When we have dedicated time with friends and family during overnight visits, it’s an incredible opportunity to create those bonds for a lifetime, which is both healthy and joyful for everyone involved,” she adds.
Still, your next overnight guest may be your first. Or, you may be rusty after not hosting for some time. You may wonder: what are guest essentials these days? Do I still need a welcome basket? What’s the “perfect schedule” for an overnight guest?
These are all good questions, especially since experts say they see common hosting etiquette mistakes. And the biggest snafu often comes from the best intentions, but it can still overwhelm the people staying with you. Below, etiquette experts share the biggest mistake people make when hosting. They also reveal what to provide for overnight guests.
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The Unanimous Mistake: Overscheduling Your Guests
Four etiquette experts agree that overscheduling overnight guests is one of the biggest hosting etiquette mistakes to avoid.While people often try to fill every minute to keep overnight guests from getting bored, etiquette experts note that visitors may want time to relax. It also takes away unstructured, memorable time together.Related: Psychologist Says if You Instantly Apologize ‘For the Mess’ When Guests Arrive, You Likely Have These 7 Traits
Why ‘Downtime’ Is the Ultimate Luxury for Houseguests
Want to know how to host overnight guests? Leave margin in the itinerary and avoid overscheduling them. “Creating space for downtime, rest and connection really is a gift to guests coming to visit for any length of time,” Porter explains.Rosalinda Oropeza Randall, an etiquette and professional development programs expert, agrees, describing downtime as the “ultimate consideration” for guests.“Like most of us, they are taking a break from busy schedules, piles of laundry and appointments,” Randall continues. “For these reasons alone, downtime is a welcome luxury.”
In fact, one expert even says that “downtime is often when the magic happens.”“Kids connect, adults bond and good conversations are had,” states Genevieve (Jenny) Dreizen, who is the COO and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry as well as a modern-day etiquette and boundaries expert. “Museums are important and fun and can create wonderful memories, but building in a quiet morning to hang with your visitors is probably what they will walk away remembering.”If you love a good schedule, we get it. But importantly, you’ll want to resist the urge to “schedule in” specific types of downtime for guests. They may have different tastes or desires.“Mention a nearby trail they could easily walk to, or show them the patio lounge chair that is perfect for a nap,” Randall suggests. “Place a couple of books in their room. Let them know that you expect them to take time for themselves. Hearing it from you lets them know that they don’t have to ‘be on’ all the time.”
Also, for what it’s worth, guests are not the only ones who deserve leisure time.“Guests deserve some downtime, but so do the hosts,” Jodi RR Smith, an etiquette expert with Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, tells Parade. “Knowing that there are morning activities, a joint lunch, and then some downtime in the afternoon allows the guests to retire to their rooms to relax and allows the hosts a respite from the responsibilities of hosting.”That much-needed rest will help you show up as your best self for the next activity.Related: The Everyday Habit Smartphones Quietly Replaced—And Why We Miss It More Than We Realized, Psychologist Explains
The ‘Morning Routine’ Rule: Don’t Make Them Guess
Houseguest rules can vary, so visitors may have no idea what to do if they wake up before you (or after you’ve left to run errands or go to work). Etiquette experts suggest the “morning routine rule,” which involves setting clear expectations and letting guests help themselves to breakfast and beverages.“Unless there are health-related conditions that require you to adhere to a strict schedule and diet, flexibility is key to making houseguests feel welcome and not like they’re in the way,” Randall says.Communication is also key. She suggests asking guests about their routines to avoid awkwardness. Then, share yours, like what time you wake up. If they get up before sunrise and you like to sleep in, Randall recommends adjusting the coffee pot timer if the guest loves a cup of Joe each morning.
“If you don’t eat a full breakfast, but they do, show them where the eggs, ham and toast are kept, or you can make them feel extra welcome by whipping up breakfast for them the first morning,” she adds. “If you have an alarm system, keep the code near the system so that they can turn it off if they take off before you wake up.”She suggests inviting your visitor to the gym with you if that’s a part of your morning routine, and adds that most gyms offer one-week guest passes.
Guest Hosting Guide
Hosting takes a lot of effort. A “preparing for houseguests” checklist can help you dot every I and cross every “T.” Porter shares her must-dos before visitors knock on the door, including a few guest room essentials to prepare in advance.
Category
Preparation Task
Bedding
Make sure guests aren’t allergic to pillows or bedding (like down), and have alternatives for those with fabric or material sensitivities. Ideally, include a soft and a firm pillow so guests can choose based on their preferences.
Food
Create a snack zone in the kitchen or another common area with an assortment of grab-and-go foods, such as bagged snacks, fruit, breath mints and gum.
Bath
Ensure the bathroom is clean and prepped for guests by swapping out bar soap and/or including pump soap. Make towels available in a guest’s room or sleeping area and show a guest where all the ’supplies’ are in the bathroom, including but not limited to: hair dryer, toilet paper, feminine hygiene products and shampoo.
Tech/media
Use a small 4”x6” frame to display the home’s Wi-Fi network name and password so guests can easily log on. When guests arrive, use phones to ‘share password’ if available.Invite guests to use the TV as they wish by showing them how to use the remotes and including a short written primer in the media room on how to access streaming services and other perks.
Fun/comforts for kids
Make both quiet and active games and activities available for kids. If needed, borrow games and toys from friends and neighbors to make sure children of all ages have something to do while adults spend time together.
Creature comforts for pets
Ensure host pets and guest pets will tolerate each other by creating zones for each as needed. If your pets are territorial, purchase a used or new set of toys for the visiting pet so there won’t be any “arguing” over plush and squeaky toys.
Related: Is ‘No Response’ Actually a Response? How To Know, According to an Etiquette Expert
3 Other Common Hosting Mistakes To Avoid
Besides overscheduling, people often make a few more common hosting etiquette mistakes. They’re avoidable, though. Awareness is the first step. Etiquette experts share a few faux pas to avoid when hosting overnight guests.
1. Hosting out of obligation
Before agreeing to host, ask yourself why you’re saying yes. Randall knows it’s hard to get out of family obligations without a feud, but you shouldn’t feel forced to host, especially if it’s probably a bad idea.
“When personalities can’t make it through a Thanksgiving dinner without a verbal altercation, hosting them for a long weekend is asking for chaos,” she explains. “Under the circumstances, being honest is advisable.”
She suggests something like, “It would be best if you stayed at a hotel nearby. We will meet you for dinner and hang out at the park.”
2. Phone shaming
Your overnight guest may not want a digital detox—it’s their choice.
“If the guest is checking their mobile device or responding to an email, do not ask each time what it was about,” Smith states. “As the host, there are times you can request that guests put down their phones. This is often during meals or if there is an additional visitor coming over.”
3. Overlooking the bathroom situation
We can get so caught up in guest room essentials that we skip preparing the bathroom—a big mistake, says Dreizen.
“Towels, extra toilet paper and knowing which bathroom is ‘theirs’ seem obvious until a guest is standing there, unsure whether to use your only towel,” she explains. “It’s a small thing that creates outsized discomfort if it’s not sorted before they arrive.”
The ‘Welcome Basket’: What Every Guest Room Actually Needs
Pinterest is full of ideas for guest room welcome baskets, but some are unnecessary (and some lists leave out must-haves). To help you avoid missing anything, Porter provides a list of guest room essentials:
Towels for bathing Water glass and pitcher Water bottle for adventures in city/town and beyond Light reading material and/or game books with a pencil or pen Earplugs for sleep comfort Eye mask for nighttime and daytime napping Battery-operated clock with alarm that does not “tick-tock” Reading light (ideally bedside) Slippers for indoor use Over-the-counter pain relief in a low dosageOK, but do you need a welcome basket for overnight guests? Porter says yes.
“The ‘welcome basket’ is an essential part of any guest’s visit,” she tells Parade.
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Sources:
Jennifer Porter is an etiquette expert with Satsuma Designs LLC. Jodi RR Smith is an etiquette expert with Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. Genevieve (Jenny) Dreizen is the COO and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry, as well as a modern-day etiquette and boundaries expert. Rosalinda Oropeza Randall is an etiquette and professional development programs expert.Hence then, the article about we asked 4 etiquette experts the biggest mistake people make with overnight guests was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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