Postpartum mental health conditions are common, treatable, and range from mild mood shifts to severe psychiatric emergencies, according to the Cleveland Clinic.
Lauren Ratliff felt prepared going into labor, but when she brought her baby home, she immediately noticed a change.
“I just had crushing anxiety, and intrusive thoughts, and I wasn’t sleeping. I was hypervigilant. My mood was very up and down,” said Ratliff.
It took her a while to find help. Ratliff said she struggled with where to turn first because she was overwhelmed taking care of a new baby and herself. She eventually found a therapist to support her transition into motherhood and was put on medication to treat her anxiety.
Her experience led her to start Matrescence Therapy, a virtual psychotherapy practice specializing in maternal mental health.
“I remember so clearly my husband, John, noticing I was just declining so quickly and asking me, ‘do you think you should call the doctor?’ Do you thing you should someone?’ And, I was so offended by that question because it felt to me like I was failing,” she said.
Feelings of anxiety are common in the first month after birth, often called “baby blues.” It’s an adjustment period of extreme highs and lows driven by hormones.
However, experts say it becomes worrisome when intrusive thoughts affect daily life. Asking questions is important, according to experienced doula Anna Rodney, even when it’s uncomfortable.
“This is the hardest part of all because a lot of people feel like they should tread lightly or that they are bringing up something that’s so uncomfortable, and they don’t want the mom to feel like we’re targeting them.” said Rodney, the founder of Chicago Doulas. “That’s probably a huge part of the problem. Every single person around mom should be helping her to identify what she needs and being supportive.”
Rodney says partners and friends should check in and ask questions.
“Noticing the small things. Were you able to successfully feed your baby today? Did you do any playtime with our baby today? Have you had any moments that felt joyful today?,” she suggested.
Left untreated, anxiety and depression can worsen. Chelsea Seifert dealt with both, in addition to intrusive thoughts, OCD and PTSD.
“Everything was terrifying to me. I didn’t know if I was doing anything right,” said the mother of two. “And I was so worried. I was like, ‘is this what motherhood is?’ Is this what I have to live with my whole life?'”
Seifert found a supportive therapist and was also placed on medication, but she says talking about her experience helped.
“I think a lot of women suffer in silence, whether it’s shame, whether it’s like, I’m going to grit through this,” she said. “The first step is really like being able to speak about it.”
There are dozens of support groups online and in the city and suburbs where new moms can connect.
“I’m a really social, easygoing person, and I would just say I was a little more maybe quiet, reserved than I typically am,” said mom Abby Mackrelin.
She had children before her close friends, and felt isolated.
“Truly just felt like I didn’t really have that much of a community,” said Mackrelin.
She turned to the online support group Peanut, where she was able to share what she was going through with other moms.
“While having a baby is such a joyous time, right? You’re bringing this new life into the world. And I think so many people are quick to, you know, congratulations, what an exciting time. And I remember thinking, this is exciting, but I’m not feeling what I typically feel on a normal basis,” she said.
There’s also help for partners, family members and friends through Postpartum Support International, a free hotline to call with questions not just in times of crisis.
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