Earlier this summer, Shara Arora’s 9-year-old daughter came home from a magic show determined to perform a few tricks of her own. Before long, she was holding up a towel and making a spoon appear to float behind it.
Arora could see that her daughter had taped the spoon to something. But instead of spoiling the trick, she acted amazed: “How did you do that?” Her daughter’s face lit up. She explained how she had devised the illusion, what had inspired her, and the trial and error involved in making a spoon float. The real magic, it turned out, wasn’t the spoon. It was what happened when a parent who knew the answer kept quiet and let her child become the expert.
“I always see it on their face,” says Arora, executive director of two Montessori schools in the Houston area. “There’s that prideful look: ‘I know something that a grown-up doesn’t know.’”
A child doesn’t need a magic trick—or even a particularly impressive skill—to experience that same role reversal. Simply asking your kid to teach you something once a week can boost their confidence, strengthen their communication skills, and give you a glimpse into parts of their world you might otherwise miss.
Kids spend a huge portion of their lives being instructed, corrected, and evaluated. Asking them to teach you something—even for five minutes—changes that dynamic in a small but meaningful way.
For once, the parent stops being the authority and becomes a curious student. That can be especially powerful for children who struggle in school, says Alex Anderson-Kahl, a school psychologist and founder of Raise Strong, which offers practical tools and coaching for parents. Parents get to see that “competence doesn’t just live on a report card,” he says.
Maybe your child finds math class miserable but can construct an elaborate Minecraft universe. Perhaps they boast an encyclopedic knowledge of dinosaurs, know every rule of a sport you only pretend to understand, or can edit a video faster than you can locate the camera app. Asking them to teach you creates an opportunity to demonstrate—and experience—their own capabilities. That can resonate more deeply than simply hearing, “You’re so smart.”
“You’re giving the child an actual opportunity to show their confidence,” Anderson-Kahl says. Plus, the lesson offers clues about how they think: how they organize information, communicate an idea, and respond when someone doesn’t understand.
Teaching also helps children strengthen their grasp of whatever they’re explaining. They can’t simply repeat a fact; they have to determine how the pieces fit together, decide where to begin, and identify any gaps in their own knowledge. As anyone who has attempted to explain the rules of a board game knows, understanding something yourself and successfully conveying it to another person are two very different skills.
What exactly is a child practicing while teaching a parent? “It would be easier to say what they aren’t,” says Michelle Retsky, a speech-language pathologist and founder of Words in Motion Therapy.
One of the biggest benefits is perspective-taking, or figuring out what another person knows and what they don’t. A child explaining Fortnite, for example, might initially be shocked that their favorite adult has somehow made it this far in life without playing. That means they get to provide context, define unfamiliar terms, watch for confused expressions, and adjust their explanation accordingly. That flexes communication, language, and executive-functioning skills like planning and organizing.
The exercise can be particularly helpful for shy kids and reluctant communicators, Retsky says. A child who has little to say about school might happily talk for 20 minutes about a favorite video game or movie. They’re speaking from familiar territory, without worrying that an adult will judge or grade their answer.
Retsky recently met a child who kept his head down through a series of introductory questions. “I didn’t even see his face yet,” she says. Pizza or tacos? No enthusiasm. Then she asked about horror movies. “Finally, he lifted his head,” she says. “I got to actually see the kid I was working with.”
Find an organic opening
There’s no need to formally schedule your child’s weekly lesson. Announcing that every Tuesday at 7 p.m. is now Teach Your Parent Night is an excellent way to transform a fun idea into homework.
Instead, treat “once a week” as a reminder to notice one natural opening. If your child is drawing, building, cooking, playing a game, practicing a dance, or excitedly recounting something they learned, get curious. Try: “Wait, how did you do that?” or “I don’t know how that works. Can you show me?”
For younger kids, concrete activities are often easiest. Ask them to show you how to draw a monster, build a LEGO house, make a play-dough pizza, or perform a favorite dance. School-age kids might teach you a basketball rule, explain the strategy behind a video game, or demonstrate how they created something. With teenagers, Anderson-Kahl suggests asking: “What’s something kids your age understand that adults don’t?” They might explain a slang term, a piece of technology, a social-media controversy, or why millions of people are refreshing the TikTok feed of a creator you’ve never heard of.
You can also ask, “What could you teach me in five minutes?” The time limit makes the invitation feel manageable rather than like a request to prepare a keynote address.
Make sure your curiosity is real. One common mistake Anderson-Kahl sees is parents performing over-the-top enthusiasm because they think that’s what supportive parenting looks like. “Kids can pick up on that so easily,” Anderson-Kahl says. “Your kid knows when you’re faking it.” You might not care about Minecraft itself, but you can be genuinely curious about why your child chose a certain block, how they made a structure stay upright, or what they plan to build next. The goal isn’t to convince them that you’ve suddenly become a devoted Fortnite fan; it’s to understand what they enjoy about it.
If your child initially responds with an eye roll or “I don’t know,” don’t force it. You might simply ask whether you can sit beside them and watch for five minutes. Once they realize you aren’t there to nag, interrogate, or abruptly impose a screen-time limit, there might be more room for spontaneous questions.
The more often you demonstrate sincere interest, Retsky says, the more likely your child is to open up. When kids explain why a video-game character or social-media trend matters to them, “they’re revealing their values, social pressures, and interests without feeling judged or interrogated,” she says. In other words, the lesson might offer a window into their inner life—without making them feel like they’ve been summoned for a Serious Conversation.
Resist the urge to take over
Now comes the difficult part: Actually letting your child teach.
That means not interrupting to correct their grammar, improve their technique, supply a missing fact, or demonstrate the more efficient method you developed during your additional decades on Earth.
Imagine your child is teaching you how to make a sandwich, Anderson-Kahl says. You happen to know a better way. “Congratulations,” he says. “Keep it to yourself for five minutes.”
Unless your kid is doing something dangerous, resist the urge to fact-check in real time. The point isn’t for them to create a perfectly accurate tutorial; it’s to give them space to organize and express their thoughts without slipping from creative mode into defensive-performance mode.
This restraint can be surprisingly difficult. During her Montessori training, Arora learned to avoid immediately jumping in when a child was struggling or doing something differently than she would. “I would literally sit on my hands,” she says.
Parents might need to adopt a metaphorical version of that posture. Let pauses linger instead of rescuing your child with the answer, and if they get tangled up, ask a question rather than taking over. Even if you have something useful to add, Arora advises waiting until “they’ve said everything” and shared their entire thought process before imparting your own knowledge.
Be willing to look like a slightly imperfect student, too. Ask questions, misunderstand a step, and let your child clarify. Kids rarely get to instruct adults without worrying that they’re being disrespectful, and doing so in a safe, playful context helps them practice rephrasing an idea when someone doesn’t understand.
It also models an important lesson: Adults don’t know everything, and there’s nothing embarrassing about that. “You will never know everything,” Retsky says. “The most important thing is to ask questions. The most important thing is to be curious.”
Afterward, look for a way to show that it stuck. Bring up the subject a few days later, use the slang term—at your own risk—or ask for an advanced tutorial. You might say, “I really was listening to you the other day, and I remember you saying this,” Anderson-Kahl suggests. Better yet, incorporate what your child taught you into your own life. They’ll know you weren’t merely indulging them; you were listening.
And if the conversation goes nowhere? That’s OK, too. Retsky considers this one of the rare parenting strategies with an unusually positive worst-case scenario. Even if your child declines to teach, responds in monosyllables, or wanders away midway through the lesson, they still received the message: “My parent cares about something I care about.”
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