As someone who was a teenager in 2012, I was in the perfect demographic to be right smack dab in the middle of the massive hype around The Fault in Our Stars—both the book and the eventual movie, which came out in 2014. If you were there, too, then you remember how big this story was; from the infinity bracelet trend happening at the same time to “Maybe okay will be our always” hitting like a ton of bricks, it was truly a time to experience.
John Green’s novel touched on very real and heartbreaking elements in the book as it explored “the funny, thrilling and tragic business of being alive and in love,” per the book’s description. Our quote of the day comes from The Fault in Our Stars and highlights the absurdity of toxic positivity, which is particularly grating for someone with a terminal illness.
The novel came out in January 2012, and told the story of Hazel Grace Lancaster, who has terminal thyroid cancer. She has sort of comes to terms with demise her diagnosis has all but promised her, and she begrudgingly joins a Cancer Kid Support Group (her mom’s idea), which is where she meets Augustus Waters. He’s charming, has a way with words and is in remission from osteosarcoma (bone cancer), which has left him with only his left leg. The story follows their friendship and eventual relationship, and is bitingly real in its message and ending.
The Fault in Our Stars did numbers. It was Green’s sixth book, and the fourth novel he wrote on his own. It debuted at #1 on The New York Times Best Seller list for Children’s Chapter Books, and stayed in that top spot for seven consecutive weeks. It was the winner of Goodreads’ Readers’ Favorite Young Adult Fiction in 2012 and was picked as TIME Magazine’s #1 Fiction Book of 2012, per Green’s website. It’s still one of his most memorable books, and as Britannica reported, it sold over 23 million copies by 2021, making it one of the best-selling books of all time.
Again, it was a very raw and real book, dealing with themes lots of teens experience and feel, even if they aren't suffering from a chronic illness or disease. And today’s quote in particular is a relatable indictment of common well-intentioned statements that can feel dismissive of people’s lived experiences.
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Quote of the Day by John Green
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“‘Without pain, how could we know joy?' This is an old argument in the field of thinking about suffering, and its stupidity and lack of sophistication could be plumbed for centuries, but suffice it to say that the existence of broccoli does not, in any way, affect the taste of chocolate.”
The Fault in Our Stars is told from Hazel Grace’s point of view, and this line is one of her many thoughts throughout the book.
For this particular quote, Hazel had just visited Augustus’s house, and she noticed that his mom had decorated it with a lot of kitschy signs with positive platitudes on them. Things along the lines of, “Can’t appreciate the sun without the rain,” “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” or “Everything happens for a reason.” Very “Life, Laugh, Love” type of signs as you’d find at HomeGoods or Hobby Lobby.
Hazel has the above thought, based on her own life experience and what she knows to be true.
Related: Quote of the Day: Albert Einstein’s Words on Imagination Being ‘More Important Than Knowledge’ Is an Inspiring Way To Look at the World
While anyone might find these platitudes off-putting, Hazel’s stance, as seen in our quote of the day, is more cynical (and personal) because she has terminal cancer. Again, most people might bristle at “Everything happens for a reason,” but Hazel’s main issue is with the toxic positive statement that you can’t experience happiness without also knowing sadness. As someone who has dealt with more than her “fair share” of pain at such a young age from having a fatal illness, she’s rightfully annoyed at the sentiment.
In the end she says one of the best arguments against these kinds of sayings: “The existence of broccoli does not… affect the taste of chocolate.”
Ultimately, she’s stating that, no, bland or less flavorful things like vegetables don’t make something sweet and delicious like chocolate or candy taste any better or worse. Sure, if you had them back-to-back, maybe the difference is more noticeable. However, that brand of chocolate is always going to taste the same (unless they change the formula).
Toxic positivity has been around for a while, and while everyone has gone through issues and hardships, these dull platitudes hit differently for people who are chronically ill, have terminal cancer or have experienced grief from the death of those around them. As Augustus explains to Hazel, his mom has them up because she thinks they help—and maybe they help her, since her son had cancer as well—and that’s the case for a lot of people who use these sayings.
However, in the end, they may not actually be helpful, specifically for people in the thick of a painful situation, especially one that they can’t change. Also known as “brightsiding,” these toxic positivity statements can be invalidating, which is what Hazel is expressing here. Whether you ideologically believe what these phrases are saying or not, it’s always good to know your audience and understand that not everyone has the same feeling about them.
Related: Quote of the Day: Stoic Philosopher Epictetus on Embracing the Unknown and Letting Go of Control
More Quotes from John Green’s ‘The Fault in Our Stars’
“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”“You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.”“Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.”“The marks humans leave are too often scars.”“Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”Up Next:
Related: Quote of the Day: Psychologist Ellen Langer’s Words on Keeping an Open Mind Are More Relevant Than Ever
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