Eleanor Morton, 36, is a Scottish stand-up comedian, writer and actor. She was born and raised in Edinburgh, and her 2024 Fringe show, Haunted House, won a Terrier Award. Here, she explains how her hometown is becoming less the quiet gothic haven and more an overrun tourist trap. Interview by Sophie Wilkinson
When a woman told me she was a Willie, I was confused. She explained it meant: “Works in London, lives in Edinburgh”. You must, I mused, be living in a whole different world if you can afford to commute to a different country for work.
Since Covid, I’ve noticed Edinburgh getting busier and busier. What has always been a touristy town is now groaning under the weight of thousands and thousands more visitors every year. Small shops selling the same Harry Potter merch you can get on Amazon now have queues outside the door. And don’t get me started on the AI Highland cow art for sale everywhere.
I’ve noticed more and more people from down south discussing Edinburgh as their “escape plan” destination, not just for a holiday but to move to. Perceived as a more chilled political – and meteorological – climate. But moving here is not the fix-all people imagine.
Firstly, Edinburgh has a housing shortage – in fact, the council has declared a “housing emergency” since November 2023. More wealthy English people moving here won’t help that.
It would be hypocritical for me to say no one’s allowed to come. As a comedian and an Edinburger who spent most of my twenties living in London, half of me would love my English friends to join me. The other half sees how overwhelmed the city is becoming and wonders if it can sustain it.
It used to be primarily in August, during the Fringe. Then it would quieten down again. But now there’s no off season anymore. The streets are still rammed, every tourist keen to indulge in their favourite hobby – standing in a busy road for no reason.
I get it. Edinburgh is Unesco-level nice. When I tell people where I’m from and they say, “Oh, I LOVE Edinburgh,” I feel a smug satisfaction, as if I built the place myself. Besides, gentrification is kind of our whole vibe – there’s a reason the rest of Scotland jokes that we’re an English colony. But the city is becoming less and less the quiet gothic haven you imagine, and more and more an overrun tourist trap.
Edinburgh is the quintessential Instagrammable city and people want perfect pictures taken under a bridge, on the crags and outside oldy-worldy cottages.
Dean Village used to be a quick but scenic way to walk to Stockbridge from the West End, that’s it. But because it’s so historic and photogenic, hoards of tourists traipse down there just to try to avoid getting in each other’s photos. I can’t imagine the residents enjoying waking up each morning, opening the curtains to find 20 Spanish tourists staring back at them.
Edinburgh is part of a make-believe world people long to inhabit. But it’s hard for me to connect my city with that fantasy. When people say a street looks like Diagon Alley, I just think: “Well, that’s just because it looks like an old street in Britain.” (See also: York, Bath, Stirling.)
And Edinburgh is full of everyday, less glamorous stuff too. Tourists love taking photos of the atmospheric and haunted-looking closes and wynds that trail off, rib-like, from the spine of the Royal Mile. What the photos never capture, however, is the reek of stale urine and the blight of binbags and discarded chips littering these alleyways.
The tourists persist, though, and have even made their own traditions. Greyfriars Bobby is a dog statue that sits in the centre of town. When I was growing up, Bobby was merely a fun local character, but in the last 15 years, people started rubbing his nose for good luck. And because they think it’s a tradition (it’s not!) it’s become a tradition. The myth is being created in real time and it’s a pain in the arse for residents, because everyone crowds an already busy pavement.
“What a killjoy,” you might be thinking, it’s just a statue of a dog, let them have their fun. No. I won’t. Unlike Barcelona or even London, Edinburgh isn’t made up of piazzas and wide boulevards. Its centre is a cramped and largely medieval warren. Even one extra person on the pavement becomes a hazard.
Bobby stands just opposite Greyfriars cemetery. It used to be a very pretty but – no pun intended – dead place. But then somebody decided to claim that JK Rowling got the idea for Tom Riddle’s name from one of the gravestones. Now thousands flock to the grave of a random man who died 300 years ago, to stand around, to chip bits off, to trample on his remains.
The actual traditions of Edinburgh are steeped in history. You can spit on the heart of Midlothian for good luck, or hear the one o’clock gun fire every day from the castle. Then there’s the old House of Fraser clock, a traditional meeting place for locals before mobile phones. And yes, Glasgow, we also like to put cones on statues. As far back as 1995, I remember seeing the Picardy place Sherlock Holmes sporting one.
Loads of people are about to amass in Edinburgh for the festival and Fringe. And look, I love it, and like every other obnoxious performer, I’ll spend the month drinking and crowding the pavements along with all the tourists. It’s worth remembering, though, while it’s a party for us, it’s just another Tuesday for residents.
For those of you looking to move full time to Edinburgh to escape the heat further south, Arthur’s Seat has had two wildfires in as many months and the Cairngorms are currently on fire. The truth is, you can’t really run from climate change.
And with 24 data centres under consideration for central Scotland, sectarianism ever present, and far-right supporters marching on the streets of Glasgow (at least one reportedly performed a Nazi salute…), we are not perhaps the progressive paradise you might imagine.
Am I saying don’t move here? Of course not. I’m not your mum. Do what you like. But moving to Edinburgh might make your surroundings look nicer, but it won’t fix your life. We have our issues, like everywhere else, and there’s a reason no one actually lives in Disneyland.
Eleanor Morton: The Mermaid is at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe from 6-30 August, Monkey Barrel, Cab Vol 1, 1pm, (not Mondays or Tuesdays)
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