Imagine this: You've just finished the perfect meal at your favorite restaurant. As a good, well-intentioned diner, you try and make clearing up your table as simple as you can for your server. Tidying up, you and your fellow patrons at the table begin to stack your plates, one by one, to make the cleaning task much faster—or so you think.
There's no doubt that this practice comes from a good place. But to the surprise of many, it's actually a really common restaurant etiquette mistake. Although it feels like a way to refine our table manners at restaurants, it does quite the opposite.
That begs the question: Should you stack plates at a restaurant? Dining etiquette rules might say no, and so does etiquette expert August Abbott, a certified etiquette consultant and Manners & Social Protocol Expert. According to her, while this can usually "feel helpful" coming from the patron, it should usually be avoided.
"The overwhelming response from servers is, 'Please don't, but thank you for the thought,'" Abbott, who offers up modern etiquette expert restaurant tips, tells Parade.
Should you be rethinking your exit strategy when it comes to the end of a restaurant meal? Worried about how to politely finish eating without over-troubling your waiter? Down below, the etiquette expert explains why stacking your dishes isn't the best way to signal you're finished eating and what you can do instead.
Related: An Etiquette Expert Is Begging People To Stop This Common Dinnertime Habit
When it comes to rude things people do at restaurants, stacking up your plates when you're done eating might not be the worst thing you can do. But it's a well-intentioned mistake that some etiquette experts advise against.
So if it comes from a place of wanting to help, why should you stop doing it? If you ask Abbott, servers have a process that can feel interrupted if you do this. Coming to your table to find a stack of dishes waiting for them can get in the way of how they do their job.
"Servers have a routine, a method and a duty to clear your plates," she explains. "And stacking disrupts it."
On top of that, it can also send a message to your server that something has gone awry.
"It can also send confusing signals," she shares. "Is something wrong? Are you in a hurry? Stacked plates also erase the proper silverware signals that tell your server you're finished. So yes, avoid it."
The Hidden Language of Silverware: How To Signal You Are Finished
Those forks and knives on your table? Sure, they're best used for shoveling food into your mouth and wiping the food off of your plate when you're all done. But they can also be useful in sending a message to your server to let them know you're finished eating your meal—and its not a hindrance like stacking plates can be.
The silverware etiquette rule is pretty simple, and it signals that your plate is ready to be cleared off the table. It all has to do with the placement of the silverware on your plate, a practice that can actually differ depending on what part of the world you're in.
According to Abbott, the placement of your silverware to showcase you're done eating can range drastically between dining spaces in the United States versus in Europe.
"In American style, place your knife and fork on the plate with tines and blade pointed toward the center and handles resting at the 4:00 position," she tells Parade.
Across the pond, this practice requires just a few more steps.
"In European, or continental style, to rest between bites, place the knife at 4:00 and the fork at 8:00, tines down, covering the upper part of the knife," she explains. "To signal you're finished, turn the fork tines downward."
Does this rule work everywhere, all the time? There are exceptions, says Abbott.
In many restaurants with younger generation servers or establishments that predominantly do takeout services and buffets, she says most workers will not be trained to recognize this end-of-meal habit.
However, other fine dining venues where servers are taught how to properly set the dining table will know the code, she explains.
"With this said, putting silverware down on a relatively cleared plate will signal that one is done no matter where the silverware is placed, no matter the type of restaurant," Abbott states.
Of course, besides silverware placement, there are a ton of other ways you can let your server know you're done. Especially if you're at a casual joint that won't pick up this silverware tip.
Normally, servers will "look for lack of action," according to Abbott. No holding of your fork and knife or having the plate slightly pushed away from you, she says.
Some might even put their napkin in their plate. But if you want to follow proper etiquette, she suggests avoiding this.
"Instead, what can be acceptable is to put the napkin to the left of the plate where your fork was initially nestled," she explains.
Related: 11 Phrases That Make You ‘Instantly Unlikable’ at Family Gatherings, According to an Etiquette Expert
Other than stacking up your plates, here are a few other common restaurant habits that etiquette experts hate.
A lot of us do this one all too often, but it's actually an impolite habit to constantly do at restaurants since, in most cases, it can turn one dish on the menu into something completely different, says Abbott.
Some slight alterations to a menu item to accommodate dietary needs or personal preferences can usually be OK. However, completely revamping the contents of it is not as acceptable.
"Dressing on the side is fine," she says, but notes that "ordering the beef dinner [and] swapping in fish, a different potato and double salad is not."
2. Not supervising children
Bringing children to a restaurant that permits them is absolutely fine. Where the trouble starts is when they run amok, and parents or caretakers don't have a close eye on them.
Not supervising your kids at a restaurant can easily cause mayhem to happen in a matter of minutes. According to Abbott, this can be seen as rude because it interrupts the experience for other patrons.
"Kids wandering the dining room cause spills and tripping hazards and disrupt diners for whom a night out is a special occasion," she explains. "Choose a kid-friendly restaurant or get a sitter. And remember, it's never too soon to teach children table manners."
This may seem like an obvious one, but maybe not for some. Going into a restaurant minutes before closing and ordering a full meal can infringe on the waitstaff's time.
"Kitchen staff want to go home on time, just like you do. Order something quick, or come back earlier tomorrow," says Abbott.
4. Seating yourself at an uncleared table
Helping yourself to an uncleared table "forces staff to rush and clean around you, and it reads as entitled," Abbott tells Parade.
What's the best way to approach this situation?
"Point it out, say you're happy to wait, or take a table that's already clean," she explains.
5. Treating servers like servants
It's really important to treat your server with respect, but that might come off differently for some people. In order to make sure you're not being impolite in this setting, ensure you don't do things that make them uncomfortable.
"No flirting, no touching, no prying personal questions," Abbott states.
Outside of that, she points out that servers have exhausting tasks to perform, and ensuring we behave as well as they treat us can signal much regard and esteem towards them.
"Servers are hardworking people in one of the toughest public-facing jobs, and they deserve to be treated like they have value, because they do," she says.
Related: An Etiquette Expert Is Begging People To Stop This ‘Surprisingly Rude’ Habit in Group Settings
The Golden Rules of Modern Tipping and Leaving a Table
Tipping can be a tricky feat to navigate through at times. It can be hard to know in what circumstances to tip, and for how much and when.
There are a few steps to go through to properly tip in the right manner, according to Abbott. She first suggests checking your bill for an automatic gratuity, which some restaurants will do.
"If it's there, you can add more for especially good service, but arguing about the auto-charge is a serious faux pas," she warns. "If there's no automatic tip, 20 percent is the standard."
As she mentioned, you can also always tip more if you experienced particularly great service. But don't tip less than the standard 20 percent even if you didn't receive a top-notch experience.
"Most U.S. servers earn at or below minimum wage and count on tips to make a living, and even imperfect service doesn't justify tipping out of spite," the etiquette expert explains.
When leaving the restaurant, make sure to pay the bill promptly when it gets to your table. Abbott says you can still do this even if you want to stay to finish your drink or conversation.
After that, be sure to free up the table around 10-15 minutes later. It helps waiting guests be seated and ensures you don't overstay your welcome.
Up Next:
Related: Is It Really Rude To Show up to a Party Early? Here’s What an Etiquette Expert Says
Source:
August Abbott is a certified etiquette consultant and Manners & Social Protocol Expert.Hence then, the article about an etiquette expert is begging people to stop this common habit at restaurants was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( An Etiquette Expert Is Begging People To Stop This Common Habit at Restaurants )
Also on site :
- 1968 Figure Skating Legend Won the Gold at 19 Years Old After Tragic Plane Crash Devastated Entire U.S. Team
- '90s One-Hit Wonder That Became a Worldwide Phenomenon Began a 14-Week Run at No. 1, 30 Years Ago Today
- Walmart's Vintage-Inspired Solar Lanterns Double as Planters, and You Can Snag a 2-Pack for Under $30