The concept of "keeping the peace" is one that seems to show up less and less in today’s tension-filled world, but those who excel at conflict resolution still abound. If you’ve ever taken an Enneagram personality test, you may be aware that “Type 9” is the “Peacemaker” category—and according to the website Enneagram Personality, 16.5% fall within this category, which actually was the largest percentage among all the other personality types.
Although this stat applies to adults, many children also identify as or show traits of family peacemakers, especially when they have siblings or if clashes are frequent in their home. And for some, this peacemaking can come quite naturally with little to no effort.
Dr. Adrienne Hunnicutt, PsyD, a licensed pediatric psychologist at Children’s Health, defines a natural peacemaker as someone who intuitively senses others’ emotions and helps resolve conflict by promoting understanding and harmony.
In other words? A natural ameliorator may also be categorized as an empath or a highly sensitive person, who both tend to feel the emotions of those around them and want to resolve them through their own calming skills.
But why are some children inherently good at mitigating conflict? Will those skills or pacifying desire stay with them as adults? To answer that and more, Dr. Hunnicutt shares seven traits associated with kids who are natural peacemakers, and the benefits and disadvantages that might come with that.
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Dr. Hunnicutt says that many natural peacemakers are deeply empathetic and uncomfortable with conflict.
“While some may be temperamentally inclined toward this role, family dynamics often play a significant part,” she observes. “Children exposed to frequent conflict, unpredictable emotions or chaotic environments may learn to read the room and act as a buffer, using peacemaking as a way to create stability and feel safe.”
Dr. Hunnicutt lists the strengths that natural peacemaker children have, saying that they often build strong relationships, develop advanced communication skills and help create more supportive and inclusive environments for those around them.
They can develop their peacemaking skills even further if they have the right influences around them and can recognize their own limits.
“Natural peacemakers thrive when adults encourage empathy while also teaching healthy boundaries,” the pediatric psychologist explains. “Children should know they can care about others without feeling responsible for everyone’s emotions or conflicts.”
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Do Natural Peacemaker Children Stay That Way as Adults?
Not necessarily. As Dr. Hunnicutt responds, this is a “yes and no” answer.
“Childhood coping strategies often evolve into adult personality traits, and many natural peacemakers grow into effective mediators, counselors and leaders,” she states.
On the other hand, the disadvantages to and/or adverse reasons a child is a peacemaker can negatively impact them into adulthood.
“However, when children feel responsible for managing others’ emotions or maintaining family stability, peacemaking can become a survival strategy," she explains. "As adults, they may struggle with boundaries and people-pleasing, prioritizing harmony over their own needs. The healthiest peacemakers learn to balance empathy with honesty, engaging in difficult conversations rather than avoiding conflict altogether.”
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As mentioned, many children who are natural peacemakers are empaths as well. Dr. Hunnicutt says that these children can “easily understand and connect with others’ feelings.”
2. Observant
Dr. Hunnicutt says that in general, natural peacemaker children have keen observation skills and quickly notice tension, emotions and unspoken cues.
Again, the negative aspect of this is if they gained this skill because they grew up in an unstable environment, such as one with eggshell parents or narcissistic caregivers.
Natural-peacemaking children value “win-win” scenarios where no one loses.
“They value inclusion, justice and treating others respectfully," Dr. Hunnicutt notes.
4. Collaborative
If a child who’s a natural peacemaker is on the playground, you better believe that they won’t be taking sides during an argument among friends. Instead, Dr. Hunnicutt says that they’ll always look for common ground as opposed to choosing sides.
Many natural-peacemaking children are active listeners, which means that they really hone in on what someone else is saying.
“They make others feel heard and understood,” Dr. Hunnicutt states.
6. Calm under pressure
While your other children may be melting down, your little natural peacemaker will usually be keeping a cool head. Dr. Hunnicutt says that the steady presence of a natural peacemaker can help de-escalate conflict.
7. Selfless
The last piece of cake? That spot ahead of them in line? The other team who won the game? Children who are natural peacemakers tend to think of others first and have a desire for them to excel.
But sometimes, that's detrimental. Dr. Hunnicutt says that natural peacemakers “often put others’ needs ahead of their own, sometimes at the expense of their own boundaries.”
Up Next:
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Sources:
Dr. Adrienne Hunnicutt, PsyD, is a licensed pediatric psychologist at Children’s Health and the Clinical Practice Manager for the Behavioral Health Integration and Guidance (BHIG) Initiative.Enneagram Type & Wing Distribution. Enneagram Personality.Hence then, the article about child psychologist says kids who are natural peacemakers often share these 7 traits was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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