To survive in my family, you have to have an opinion, and a strong one at that. Come to a party at my house and be prepared to have a row, well, a debate at least. I was brought up knowing my mind and arguing my case. And now I make a career out of it. Both in these pages, and on my ITV show, Loose Women, where the four of us have it out on every subject possible. And on the Talking Royals podcast, I’m paid to take a view. It provokes thought, opens minds, and it’s fun too.
But just recently I’ve had to take a moment to think about the dangers that we put ourselves in every day for daring to have an opinion and airing it. Being a Black woman makes it ten times worse. I am a target of abuse, and I’m punished daily for just doing my job. How ridiculous is that?
Social media has allowed the online cowards to hide behind the safety of their screens and turned nourishing debate into a threat to life. After a recent episode of Talking Royal where we discussed the school options for Royal children, DMs including racial insults filled my Instagram feed. For, er… talking about schools. Yes, I was as confused as you.
But it’s on Loose Women that I am particularly careful to avoid putting myself or my family in danger. There are subjects which people are happy to see discussed on the serious news programmes, but the moment we debate the attacks on Palestinians, the England Flag campaign, or the rise of the far-right, the online abusers descend. How much we choose to say is very much dependent on how much abuse we’re willing to put up with. I’ve even had people threatening to come to my home to hurt me.
As a teenager, when I was thinking about becoming a journalist, the only worry about safety was if I chose to be a war correspondent. Other than that, telling the stories of others and debating current affairs seemed like a pretty safe life plan. Fast forward some 30 years, and that love for debating has subjected me to an unwanted danger.
I’m aware that as a Black woman, the words I write will be read through a different lens than those from white men. So what I choose to write may differ. The uncontrolled anger, and the need to control what others say can’t keep swirling like dirty water down a drain, can it? At some point this must end with the return of manners and courtesy.
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