Growing up as one of eighteen children in a highly public, plural family is bound to have its challenges, but for Sister Wives star Maddie Brown Brush, the reality was far more intense behind closed doors.
In a candid new revelation, the fan-favorite daughter of Janelle and Kody Brown took to Instagram to open up about the emotional toll of her upbringing. She described a childhood overshadowed by a dizzying cycle of "secrets and chaos."
Looking back on the turbulent dynamics of the family's early years, Maddie admitted she spent much of her youth quietly yearning for a basic sense of "stability and safety"—a heartbreaking confession that explains why she has chosen a different life for her four children with her husband, Caleb Brush.
She shared the following message in the caption of her social media post. "There are things my children will never be exposed to in our home, and I made that decision long before they were born. She shared a photo with the statement, "There is a list of things I decided my kids would never experience. I made it before they were born," written above it.
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View this post on InstagramBrush continued, "I knew at 13 years old that I didn’t want the life I was living. I couldn’t change my circumstances then, but I could decide, with full certainty, what I would and wouldn’t carry forward."
She added, "No instability where there should be stability. No fear where there should be safety. No secrets where there should be honesty. No chaos disguised as normal. It takes a lot of intention to not repeat patterns."
The Sister Wives star concluded, "It’s not natural. It’s something I had to learn and something I have to keep choosing, especially on the hard days. But it ends with me. That part was decided a long time ago, and I’ve never once looked back on it."
The reality star has been very vocal about her tough upbringing among Kody and Janelle Brown, as well as Kody's wives Meri, Christine, and Robyn Brown. She didn't feel that she received the time and attention every child deserves from a parent.
She elaborated on her views on the podcast, The Authentic Society.
“I have no contact with some of my family, and it’s because of stuff that has happened,” she explained. “[Kody] doesn’t have any respect for boundaries, and you have to play by his rules, and I just don’t care to do that.”
Brush continued, “My dad would get very angry when I would — I’m a straight shooter, you ask me a question, I’m going to tell you what I think — and he would get very angry when I would be like, ‘I don’t know why you’re surprised here. And so that was one of the reasons that I went no contact because it was like, he didn’t like a mirror being held up.”
“There was a lot of anger, and he’d be like, ‘That’s not true!’ and I’m like, ‘It is true. I know this firsthand,’” Brush explained. “I always get messages from people who are like, ‘You should just forgive your dad and respect him.’ And I’m like, ‘I don’t think you know what you’re talking about because your experience with your dad could be very different than my experience with my dad.’ Some people just don't deserve to be in your life,” she concluded.
Kody Brown has not publicly commented on Madison Brown Brush's Instagram post. Sister Wives is currently on hiatus.
Related: 'Sister Wives' Star Shares Deeply Personal Update About 'Chaotic' Childhood and Growing Up in Kody Brown's Family
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