When you hear a terrible story – something shocking, something that recalibrates your understanding of what people can, will, have done to each other, some new depth of horror plumbed – it is natural to want to look away. Protect yourself from new horrible knowledge, especially when each fresh set of morning headlines from around the world, delivered in a neat, appalling batch to your phone, have you pretty much maxed out on a daily basis.
But we’re going to talk about porn star Bonnie Blue and what happens when the instinct to look away becomes so deeply and widely triggered that when a new, terrible thing happens, it goes largely unreported, uninterrogated and so unexamined that it is effectively accepted by society – or, at the very, very least, its executor and its facilitators can pretend to themselves that this is so. And then – the worst of human nature dictates – start casting around for something even worse to do.
So – what has Bonnie Blue (real name Tia Billinger) done? For those of you pure of heart and internet search history, Blue made her name (and soon millions of pounds a year) specialising in providing “barely legal” content on her OnlyFans account (if I need to explain to you what an OnlyFans account is – I’m not going to. Please read no further and just be on your way. Head for Amish country and don’t look back). The twist was that instead of being the barely legal party herself, she had sex with very young (or very young-looking) men instead. For free, as long as they gave her permission to upload the footage to her account, where paying subscribers could access it.
When the novelty of that wore off after a few stunt events (like going to Australia and advertising for “schoolies” who wanted some action), she turned to gang bangs (“Barely legal or barely breathing… come and rearrange my insides.”) Her most infamous was the subject of the Channel 4 documentary 1000 Men and Me, the title of which gives you the gist.
Now Blue is pregnant. She invited the public to “turn my baby shower into a golden shower… I’ll be having sex with the people as well” and has just released pictures purporting to be from the happy event. I mean, the men shown are wearing balaclavas so I can’t actually tell if they are smiling as broadly as Blue is in their midst, but I’m going to play the odds.
And so here we are. Sitting in silence. This time last year Bonnie Blue was everywhere; yet now, nothing. She was interviewed by Shelagh Fogarty for LBC two weeks ago and it made barely a ripple.
Odd that though, isn’t it? Much smaller transgressions of social norms, especially by women, especially by mothers or would-be mothers, can generally be guaranteed much more of a media storm, broad castigation, anger, that kind of thing. Why is Blue getting away so lightly? It would be nice to think that have silently and unanimously agreed to deny an attention-seeker the oxygen of publicity. But it would be the first time in human history, and I don’t think it’s that.
Is it partly precisely because of the hugeness of the transgression? Has its size stunned all those who would usually be reporting on it? Unused to being truly shocked, has it paralysed them for a long moment while they try to process the enormity of what is going on? It’s been a very long moment indeed, if so.
Enormity, of course, has two meanings. In loose modern usage it means simply huge size and scale. In the stricter, traditional sense it means something more along the lines of morally monstrous, outrageous, viciously unacceptable.
And that, I think, is where reporters and reporting has come unstuck. Because none of us is supposed to think in those terms any more. I will already have offended some sensibilities by using the phrase “porn star” earlier, rather than “explicit performer” or something less ostensibly judgmental. Not necessarily actually less judgemental, you understand. Just more polite. A verbal pennant, signalling the virtue of progressivism.
But to live in a society, in a world, with no boundaries at all, is not any kind of virtue. It doesn’t keep the right people safe – which is to say, the vulnerable, the people who don’t get any say at all in what happens to them, the ultimate example of which you could easily argue could be someone’s unborn child, incorporated into a publicised sexual act whose existence and ramifications will persist long after that child is born, grows up and becomes old enough to understand… well, everything?
And we are not supposed to judge this? We are allowed, I think – still, just about – to judge the men who attended the latest stunt (without whom, of course, no stunt at all, and probably markedly fewer OnlyFans careers too). I think the silence of the mainstream media here has a lot to do with the fact that it is still controlled by men and men have a base instinct – no less despicable for being primal – not to interfere with anything that might, however infinitesimally, make it easier for them to have sex in the future. Which is what Blue’s apparent proclivities suggest.
But to judge Blue herself is a riskier business. Unfeminist. As if feminism exists to affirm all women in all things. It does not. Feminism is a sociopolitical movement intended to give women all the legal rights and respect as human beings that men enjoy. It does not follow that each and every decision an individual woman makes is feminist, correct or worthy of respect.
Think of it this way: women are people! And people often do things we should condemn. Loudly, at length and without fear. Anything else is cowardice. Anything else is prizing being seen as “cool” above all. And in this particular instance, if you prefer your sins more tangible, you do not have to squint very hard to see it as child endangerment.
Inviting strangers to urinate on you and have (rough, if her previous videos are anything to go by) sex with you while you are heavily pregnant is one of those things we should feel okay about condemning. If we can’t confidently draw a line here, we can’t draw it anywhere. And then we are all – man, woman, child, born, unborn, collectively and individually – in danger.
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