Mental health problems are a fact of life for modern youngsters. In his BBC documentary, Changing the Game for Young Men, Gareth Southgate calls it “heartbreaking” to hear Taylor, a 20-year-old from Middlesbrough, describe his suicidal impulses after unemployment led to piercing feelings of worthlessness. “I just feel bad about life,” he said. “I thought, ‘I’m clearly not good enough, am I?’”
There’s no doubt that boys in the UK are in crisis, falling behind girls on almost every metric: education, income and jobs. Men aged 16-24 are much more likely to be unemployed than young women and are disproportionately likely to be the victims of violent crime (and perpetrators, though Southgate doesn’t go into that). The documentary also addresses the epidemic of fatherlessness.
Condensing a complex subject into an hour of TV entertainment is a tricky task, although Southgate is well equipped for the challenge. A declaration of interest: Southgate was one of my newspaper columnists many years ago, and I found him to be ethical, honest and sensitive. He brings these qualities to this documentary, which takes him to schools around Britain, HM Prison Leeds and to a café in Middlesbrough with Taylor and fellow struggling adolescents Naz and Rhys.
Southgate believes that there is “a problem getting lads to open up”, but his softly spoken positivity and deft listening skills – and the kudos he carries as a successful former England manager – prompted men, even those in jail, to talk freely. Southgate explained his own disappointments, including rejection letters, sackings and that notorious penalty miss against Germany in the 1996 Euros. “You’ve defo had a lot of failures,” Naz replied cheerfully.
In the documentary, Southgate encourages boys to ‘open up’ and talk about their struggles (Photo: Sam Palmer/BBC/Cardiff Productions)In a spell working in special educational needs in state schools, I saw for myself the massive struggles young men face if they leave school without GCSEs, especially navigating a world in which male-dominated industries such as manufacturing, agriculture and construction have been battered. We have a generation who are confused, isolated and grappling to understand what masculinity means. Between the ages of 15-24, male suicides are now three times more common than female suicides.
An aspect of Changing the Game that chimed loudest is the desperate need for a transformational change in education. The relentless academic focus of the curriculum is not fit for purpose. It is essential to create vocational learning courses, to teach trades and skills. Andy Cook, chief executive of the Centre of Social Justice, told Southgate: “Looking at the curriculum in the wider sense would be a total game changer.”
A particularly encouraging moment was when Southgate met Essex teacher Sonia, whose scheme “Lads Need Dads” facilitates fatherless students – there are 2.5 million in the UK – talking candidly with male teachers about emotions. Southgate emphasised the necessity of mentoring young men. Boys seldom see male role models in “caring roles”, demonstrating compassion and using “soft skills” to deal with problems. Girls are more willing to seek support and will cry without embarrassment. It is much rarer for boys to ask for comfort. Their perception is that asking for help is a sign of weakness.
Southgate called on more male mentors to work within local communities, showing the example of Hitchin-based youth worker Dan Gates – once a disruptive pupil who ended up in prison – and his empathetic aid for vulnerable youngsters.
The former England manager wants to make schools more ‘boy-friendly’ (Photo: Sam Palmer/BBC/Cardiff Productions)Although there was much to admire in Southgate’s programme, there were omissions, especially the lack of discussion about class inequality, the backlash against feminism and political funding ramifications. The number of local authority-run youth centres in England almost halved between 2012 and 2023 and teenagers in areas affected by closures performed worse in exams and were more likely to commit crimes.
Southgate deliberately ignored the impact of social media toxic masculinity on impressionable boys (a theme of Netflix’s hit drama Adolescence) and the influence of Andrew Tate, whose “brand” is built on overt misogyny. “I don’t want to give him publicity,” Southgate told The Times. “He’s not worth it.”
As a father of three boys, I took note of Southgate saying he was “conscious not to undervalue women” but the overall framing of his worthy documentary continued to emphasise the needs of boys over girls. Boys are in turmoil but evidence shows that girls are more prone to anxiety, depression, self-harm and eating disorders in adolescence. The NSPCC state that girls are significantly more likely to experience sexual abuse than boys. Degrading name-calling and being sent unwanted “dick pics” is a reality of life for girls – and for some female staff.
Southgate is right to call for “a boy-friendly school environment”. But we need to change the game for young women too.
‘Gareth Southgate: Changing the Game for Young Men’ is streaming on BBC iPlayer
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