You've likely heard the phrase golden years before. This is a common way people refer to retirement in America, giving it a glowing name to represent the exciting part of your life when your time is once again your own.
And while many people use these years to travel, spend more time with their children and grandchildren, or even learn another language, experts say that the idea that retirement is a magical, golden time of our lives is actually making some people miserable. That's because we've put this chapter of life up on a pedestal, framing it as a stress-free period when you don't have a care in the world. Psychologists say that's causing issues for those who discover that retirement doesn't actually live up to the hype. So, what can we do? These experts share what you can do if your golden years have you feeling blue instead.
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If you're curious as to the idea behind the golden years, Dr. Ken Martz, Psy.D., MBA, a Professor of Psychology, a Licensed Psychologist, and author explains that it has to do with what many working Americans are told during their career, which is that if they work hard for 40 years, they will be able to cash out and take a well-deserved vacation. "Travel, golf, grandchildren. A long, leisurely exhale," he explains. "It emerged in the mid-20th century alongside Social Security and pension plans, and it became deeply embedded in how people structured their entire life goals. Retirement wasn’t just a financial milestone. It was the finish line, the reward, the point of it all."
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Why Are People Unhappy in Their 'Golden Years'
All of what Dr. Martz says sounds like a dream. He says that the promise of that extended break hasn't exactly lived up to reality, and the gap between what we are told during our working years and what we face when we retire is causing people to feel anxious.
"The financial picture alone has shifted dramatically," he explains, noting that rising costs, depleted nest eggs, and staggering healthcare expenses mean many people arrive at retirement "hoarding" their resources rather than enjoying them. "The uncertainty of longevity makes this worse: If you might live to 95 or 100, that’s 30 to 35 years [from] a typical retirement age of 65," he continues. "How do you budget for a stretch of life you can’t predict? The answer for most people is: you don’t spend, you freeze. The vacation never starts because you’re terrified of running out of money before you run out of years."
Dr. Connie McReynolds, a Licensed Psychologist, notes that the pressure to live up to the retirement we've pictured in our minds can also cause issues, especially when the expectation doesn't align with reality. "Add in financial pressures and health concerns, and that blue sky moment can cloud over fast," she says. "We also have social media and advertising that present a fantasy of retirement as endless travel and relaxation, and if that's not you, it's one more disappointment and knock to your confidence."
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How to Handle the Letdown of Your Golden Years
Curious how you can avoid those blue golden years? Dr. Martz says we can start by retiring the word "retirement." "Then retire the idea that stopping is the goal," he says. "The healthiest transitions I see clinically look less like a hard landing and more like a controlled descent: Gradually reducing hours, strategically shifting roles, deliberately building the next chapter before the current one closes. Pilots don’t cut the engines at 30,000 feet and hope for the best and neither should you."
Dr. McReynolds seconds that approach, saying that we need to see retirement not as an end, but as a new chapter to enjoy on your own terms. "Joy comes in many guises and that could be connection, curiosity, and purpose for this new way of living," she says. "You may want to volunteer, mentor, learn new skills, take up some creative hobbies or even find part time work."
While there are all kinds of ways you can spend your retirement, Dr. McReynolds says the most fulfilling path is the one that works for you. "There is no schedule or score card, so try things out and see what fits you, not others."
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute financial advice.
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