In a brilliant metaphor for the state of our country, billionaire and septigenarian President Donald J. Trump stood next to a massive hole in the White House lawn to give a press conference on Tuesday.
Trump is attempting to have an enormous ballroom for himself built in the hole—more fitting symbolism given the state of the American economy.
At the press conference, Trump picked up a poster-board mockup of the ballroom and began to ramble.
“It’s so beautiful,” Trump said, holding the mockup to his chest. “See, I look so thin. They’ll say, ‘Oh, he’s gotten so thin.’ It’s because I’m holding this. You don’t have to look at my waist. You can look at this. You saw enough of my waist all over President Xi in China.”
Trump: See? I look so thin. It’s because I’m holding this. You don’t have to look at my waist. You saw enough of my waist all over President Xi in China. pic.twitter.com/V25GsVMqV5
— Acyn (@Acyn) May 19, 2026A few things here. First, the fact this is one of the more coherent jokes delivered by the president during his second term should tell us all something about the state of his mental health.
Secondly, Trump’s waist was “all over” Xi Jinping during his China trip? Phrasing, dude.
Thirdly, this is a rare piece of self-deprecating humor from our commander in chief, who almost never jokes about his own pudginess. Indeed, Trump’s bodily measurements have been contentious for years—his 2025 medical listed him at six feet, three inches tall and 224 pounds, which was comparable to Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver A.J. Brown.
That medical exam, however, also revealed that Trump’s body mass index was in the “overweight” category. (Trump fell into the “obese” category in 2020, so this was actually an improvement.) That, plus the president’s penchant for Diet Coke and McDonalds, means even an egotist like Trump understands he’s no Chalamet.
Maybe part of the ballroom money, then, can go toward extra-wide doors. Trump has for months claimed the project will be entirely funded through “donations,” but Senate Republicans, at the president’s request, have directed $1 billion in taxpayer money to go toward ballroom “security.” The allotment was recently deemed spurious by the nonpartisan Senate parliamentarian, so Trump has, of course, moved to have her fired.
Tuesday’s press conference above the pit was actually catered by the White House. Bacon, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwiches, Coca-Cola, and Diet Coke were on offer, with nary a fruit or vegetable to be seen.
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