Being married is genuinely hard work. No matter how much love or attraction there is, life can throw a curveball at any time, and as a couple, you have to be prepared to tackle it together. Finances can be a whopper of a curveball to weather. In fact, statistics say that married couples who argue about finances at least once a week are 30 percent more likely to get divorced, with money being one of the top drivers of marital dissolution.
But perhaps we're looking at that all wrong. Rachel Cruze, a financial expert and daughter of finance pro Dave Ramsey, actually has a different take on it. What if money isn't really the issue? What if it's your marriage itself?
Cruze took a moment to drop that truth-bomb on TikTok, stating that 90% of the calls she and Ramsey take on their show center around a marriage problem, not a money one.
@rachelcruzeMost “money problems” aren’t really about money. They’re about communication, trust, and whether you’re actually working as a team. #relationships #marriage #relationshipadvice
♬ original sound - Rachel Cruze"So everything from, 'Well, my husband and won't listen to me when I'm saying X, X, and Y about our money'—not a money problem, you got a husband problem," she says. "Or, 'My wife doesn't want to be engaged in this; she just told me I just need to deal with it'—yeah, you got a wife problem, not a, not a money problem. So that's what's wild about it is that money problems are usually the symptom of what's really going on in your marriage. So sometimes actually getting to the root of that and looking at the state of your marriage and working on that—whether that's communication, trust, like whatever that looks like for you—most of the time will then solve the money issue."
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People were quick to agree with Cruze, saying that communication is really the key to overcoming financial troubles as a couple.
"Correct. I play mediator and counselor to married couples way more than actual financial planner to more clients than I ever thought I would," wrote one follower who is a certified financial planner.
Related: Dr. John Delony Tells Woman Who Claims Husband Lied About Getting Paid During the Government Shut Down That It's Kinda' Her 'Fault'
How to Keep Communication Open Around Money
Ramsey Solutions offers a few tips for keeping the conversation positive and open about marriage and money.
Combine Your Finances: Ramsey recommends keeping a joint bank account. This way, you can avoid the "his and her money" trap, which can lead to division.Align Your Lifestyles: Discuss your spending habits and priorities openly and early. Ensure your lifestyle matches your actual income rather than an aspirational, flashy ideal.Respect Personality Differences: Acknowledge if one partner is a "nerd" (loves numbers) and the other is a "free spirit" (carefree). Both must have equal voting rights in budget meetings to prevent the nerd from bossing or the free spirit from checking out.Eliminate Salary Leverage: Don't let a higher paycheck equate to more power. Regardless of who earns more—including stay-at-home parents—both partners are on the same team.Practice Total Transparency: Avoid "financial infidelity" by keeping all accounts, debts, and purchases out in the open. This way, you can hold each other accountable for your goals. Manage Expectations Together: Focus on getting your money in order first so that shared dreams can eventually become a reality, and make sure you're on the same page about how to obtain those goals. Don't Let Kids Dictate Spending: Be a united front when children ask for "wants." Budget for their needs together and consider using chores or commissions to teach them the value of work and patience.Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute financial advice.
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