54 Thoughts I Had About Season 3, Episode 4 of ‘Euphoria’ ...Middle East

If this week’s episode of Euphoria, “Kitty Likes to Dance,” couldn’t quite match the scale or momentum of last week’s wedding extravaganza, well, that’s okay; at least we got the Maddy–Cassie reunion we’ve been waiting for, and whole new career paths (…of sorts) for Rue and Jules. Let’s dive in and relive each moment, shall we?

Below, find quite literally every thought I had about Season 3, Episode 4 of Euphoria:

Oh, Rue! I forgot the last episode fully ended with her getting pulled over. Why do they make dogs be cops? Rue’s Laurie impression just made me LOL. Why are these cops dressed like they’re on Miami Vice? Rue in a fanny pack is also very Miami Vice. Alamo telling Rue, “Bitch, you look like shit” is, unfortunately, accurate. Then again, snitching will do that to a girl. Did Alamo keep one of the parrot’s feathers?!? Speaking of looking like shit…hello, post-beating Nate. Is Cassie wearing LoveShackFancy? Not “build back better”! Is Nate lowkey the dumbest person on this show? He owes Naz a million dollars? I do adore Maddy’s vibe this season. I mean, that driving scarf! Let’s get Cassie the hell out of that piss-yellow mansion. “Let’s do something about your look.” Indeed. Jules saying she’s working when she’s actually watching reality TV in bed is so real. What is Lexi’s job, again? This makeover scene is rivaling the very best one in cinematic history (the one in the empty airplane hangar from Miss Congeniality). I want to drive a golf cart around a studio lot. Obsessed with Jules painting a phallus-centric George Seurat knockoff. Lexi whispering that Jules is “trans”…………………… Din Tai Fung boxes!!!!!!! Now that’s my LA. An hour and a half of shooting is $56,000? Yikes. This production losing $191,000 total because Jules painted some dicks is crazy. Oh, Jules, what are you up to? It’s art for TV, not real art! It’s weird to feel sympathy for Laurie (at a parrot funeral, of all places), but man, she loved that bird. I want more from Cassie’s makeover than just blonder hair. LOL at everyone online freaking out over how shitty Maddy’s apartment is when it honestly looks indistinguishable from mine. Perhaps a little nicer, in fact! I truly do not care what happens to Nate this season. And neither does Cassie, it seems. Ahhhh, is Alamo on to Rue? Oh, okay, phew, he just knows about her drug use. I die for Rosalía in this bejeweled neck brace, although I hope this season will do more with her than just random cutaways. That’s Cassie’s best outfit? I hope Maddy makes her change. Oop, no, Maddy likes it. No accounting for taste, I guess! I missed the Maddy-and-Cassie show, I have to admit. I hate men so much. Did Maddy ditch Cassie and this other knockoff-Cassie? Brutal, but fair. Cassie saying “Oh my God, I love coke!” is a bar. I’m glad we’re talking about the importance of testing drugs, at least. Ugh, poor Kitty. Okay, finally, some plot action for Rosalía. I want Rosalía to yell at me in Spanish. Uh-oh, strip club stick-up! I’m stressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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54 Thoughts I Had About Season 3, Episode 4 of ‘Euphoria’ ...Middle East

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