Every once in a while, a visionary director comes along with a bold new interpretation of an old classic. Like a fresh voice singing an old jazz standard, these exceptional artists can recontextualize a masterpiece for the modern era, preserving the original’s artistic legacy and enriching contemporary culture. These 10 films? The only legacy they create is a lingering stench, and the only thing they could ever enrich is the bottom of a garbage can. To paraphrase a certain art critic from SpongeBob SquarePants, some remakes are bold and brash, others belong in the trash. These 10 god-awful remakes that no one asked for belong in the latter category.
Ghost in the Shell (2017)
(Paramount Pictures)Mamoru Oshii’s Ghost in the Shell is one of the greatest sci-fi films of all time. It’s a triumph of animation combining heady existential philosophy with heart-pounding action sequences that give Blade Runner run for its… blade? You get what I mean. But Rupert Sanders’ God-awful live-action remake once again proves that Hollywood doesn’t understand the first thing about anime. One would think they would have learned their lesson with the ocular tragedy that was Dragonball Evolution, but one would be wrong. The Ghost in the Shell remake fails to capture the majesty and melancholy of the original; it’s a bland action remake hinging around a bankable star. And speaking of that bankable star, what casting director thought it would be a good idea to cast Scarlett Johansson as the originally Japanese character Motoko Kusanagi? The unnecessary whitewashing only made this bad film worse.
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