Legendary composer Andrew Lloyd Webber, 78, opened up about his long battle with alcoholism on April 18, admitting that he was "drink[ing] secretly" for years despite telling people he stopped. That all changed a little over a year ago when a "desperate" moment made him seek help and quit for good.
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“I am a recovering alcoholic,” he said in a vulnerable interview with The Times. “Sixteen months ago I decided that I needed help and it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Lloyd Webber, who is known for composing some of Broadway's most famous musicals like Cats, The Phantom of the Opera, Jesus Christ Superstar, Evita, and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, said he originally quit drinking while working on the School of Rock musical in 2016, but he "was doing what they call ‘white-knuckling,’ without any backup,” and he quickly fell off the wagon.
The iconic impresario became insecure that sobriety might be stifling his creative process, so he quietly began drinking again—and trying to hide it. "I thought, ‘But I’ve said to everybody that I’m not drinking.’ So I started to drink secretly,” he explained. However, it was more obvious to others around him than he thought.
“You think it’s secret, but it’s not. Everybody knows,” he said. “It was about the ludicrous lengths you go to, the hiding and the pretending."
Lloyd Webber knew he needed to get help when, about 18 months ago, he reached rock bottom. "I started getting into a downhill spiral and about 18 months ago the family were in a desperate state," he explained. "My wife was feeling she couldn’t go on.” Lloyd Webber has been married to equestrian Madeleine Astrid Gurdon since 1991, and he wasn't willing to throw his 35-year relationship away to continue drinking.
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He checked himself into a rehab, which he found ineffective, before having a "life changing" experience in a 12-step program. Now, he attends meetings daily, and wears two leather bracelets that remind him of his five children. “I look at them and they stop me drinking,” he shared.
Now, Lloyd Webber recently launched his new show Cats: The Jellicle Ball, and is working on two more musicals. He feels "lucky" every day for his sobriety.
“When you’re not drinking you think, ‘My God, how lucky am I?' ” he said.
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