If you've ever lost someone you love, you already know that grief doesn't follow a script—not even for one of Hollywood's most beloved actors. While his movies have uplifted viewers for decades, John Travolta has privately faced profound loss. The words he's generously shared about navigating grief will bring comfort to anyone who's ever lost someone they loved—and that's why John Travolta is today's quote of the day.
Travolta was born in Englewood, New Jersey in 1954—a suburb located just a few miles from the George Washington Bridge that takes you into Manhattan—making Broadway just a short bus ride away. But creativity flowed at home, too. "I'm from a working-class family," he shared. "We didn't have a lot, but we had the arts." His mother worked as an actress and drama teacher—and every one of his five siblings also developed a passion for acting. With his parents' blessing, John—the youngest child in the family—dropped out of high school to chase his dreams. At just 21, he became a household name playing the lovable troublemaker Vinnie Barbarino on Welcome Back, Kotter.
Then came Saturday Night Fever, Grease and a career that would span five decades, two Oscar nominations and one of the greatest career comebacks in Hollywood history. But unlike many of his industry peers, winning or losing awards has never been at the center of his world. Because over the years, Travolta has lost loved ones who were his world.
He was only 23 when his girlfriend—actress Diana Hyland—lost her battle with breast cancer in 1977. "I felt the breath go out of her," he said about being there for her final moments. Then, in 2009, the unthinkable happened—every parent's worst fear—during a family vacation in the Bahamas, when Travolta's 16-year-old son Jett had a seizure and died after hitting his head on the bathtub. But 11 years later, the woman who helped him survive that unimaginable loss—his wife of 29 years, Kelly Preston—lost her own battle with breast cancer. Three devastating losses. How does it even make sense? It's okay if you're crying. I am, too.
Surviving loss of this magnitude would break anyone, but imagine facing it in the media spotlight. Turning on the TV and hearing reporters you've never met talking about your family tragedy as if they were experts. A dozen paparazzi gathered outside your son's memorial service. But somehow, Travolta kept going. He kept living. He spoke about grief in a way that only someone who's experienced profound loss can—and his words will stay with you long after you finish reading them.
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Quote of the Day by John Travolta
"Mourning is individual and experiencing your own journey is what can lead to healing. The most important thing you can do to help another when they are in mourning is to allow them to live it and not complicate it with yours."
These words—shared with Esquire Spain in 2021—are beyond powerful. When you're grieving, people will often bring their own personal experiences into it, thinking that relating or comparing their loss to yours will help you navigate it. But there is no rulebook. Grief is an intense personal battle that you have to fight—and write—yourself. That is where the healing happens.
Related: Who Was John Travolta’s Wife? All About Late Actress Kelly Preston
John Travolta and his late wife Kelly Preston in 2004Photo by Kevin Winter on Getty Images
Deeper Meaning of John Travolta's Quote—Healing
Travolta speaks on something that is rarely discussed because it feels so uncomfortable: How challenging it is to experience grief when countless friends and loved ones—with only the best of intentions—want to be there for you and sit by your side. But in reality, their emotions only add to your sadness.
"Even though it's great to have company, sometimes it becomes like you're helping them rather than putting yourself to work overcoming feelings of loss and grief," he continued. In other words, Travolta found himself using his already drained energy to comfort the same people who were supposed to be comforting him. "The first thing you should do when you experience grief is to go to a place where you can mourn, without any interference," he said.
When you lose someone you love, you don't get over it. You survive it. And over time, you start to find the joy in living again. Travolta is a testament to that. He's a devoted dad to daughter Ella, 25, and son Benjamin, 15, and he regularly shares their adventures on Instagram. In October, John recorded this beautiful tribute song for Kelly's 63rd birthday.
View this post on Instagram"As you get older, you have to force yourself to have new dreams," he once said. "You have to go out of your way to activate your dreams and keep them going." I hope Travolta's words will inspire you to keep going—because they sure did for me.
Related: John Travolta’s Kids Are ‘All Grown Up’ as They Pose For Rare Family Photo
More Quotes From John Travolta
"I've always thought that as long as I did the right things and had the right intentions, everything would fall into place.""Dancing's part of my soul. I enjoy it, it makes people happy, and it makes me happy.""Nobody knows when they're going to go or when they're going to stay.""You feel alive to the degree that you feel you can help others."Next, Quote of the Day: Paul McCartney on Finding Light in the Dark
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