For a woman who’s always on the side of equality and free will, it was very unlike me to hit the roof this week when my cousin nonchalantly announced that she and her mates got Botox last week. I was stunned, and to be honest, thoroughly pissed off.
Because, and I mean this in the strongest possible terms, she really doesn’t need it. She’s just turned 40 and has the most incredible skin that most women would spend an arm and a leg trying to replicate. There’s not a line in sight, and aside from a night out she very rarely wears any make-up, and, well, she’s a black woman. We all know – and science backs that up – black skin ages differently. So why she thinks pumping toxins into her face is the way forward, I have no sodding idea.
“You just don’t understand,” she sighed. “It’s all about preventative work. I’m stopping wrinkles from appearing when they finally do appear.” I had to pause to find the soothing, understanding words to explain that she had clearly been hoodwinked by some needle-wielding beautician with witch-like powers, whilst simultaneously trying to make sure my face didn’t betray my true feelings about this ridiculous decision.
The response I actually settled on was… laughing. I couldn’t help it. The whole thing was preposterous. Black skin has high levels of melanin which means that signs of ageing like fine lines, wrinkles and collagen loss aren’t as visible, unlike those with fairer skin tones. The old adage, “black don’t crack” wasn’t created for no reason, and yet Botox appears to be winning the war against evolution.
Once I’d stopped laughing, I explained that her mum, who’s in her mid-70s, doesn’t even have a single wrinkle on her face. She balked at this comparison and very carefully explained that she does: a couple of wrinkles under her eyes. By this point, I genuinely thought she was winding me up. But she was being serious.
I remember being offered Botox and fillers in my late-20s as a “preventative” measure, and as I recall, I laughed at that suggestion too. I dread to think what my face would look like now after 20 years of Botox and fillers I clearly didn’t need.
My cousin still wasn’t having any of it. She whipped out a picture of her “before” whilst trying to convince me of the wrinkles that she could see and proceeded to point each one out. They must have been invisible to the naked eye, though, because no amount of zooming in on the phone could make me see what clearly wasn’t there.
I told her there were no wrinkles. But when you’ve been converted to the Botox train there’s no getting off when someone else has convinced you of all the reasons you should part with your money. It has to be one of life’s biggest cons for young black women. I’d applaud the hustle if I wasn’t so appalled. I dread to think about the slippery slope “a little Botox” can lead to.
My cousin’s lucky though: we’re a family of honest women who are very comfortable telling each other how we feel about a family member’s life decisions. When another cousin told me she was thinking of doing something to make her cheeks more pronounced, she got the same response from me. I just can’t help it.
Some aren’t so lucky. Think about it – so many of us know someone who took the “tweakments” a bit too far, who were convinced that they just needed one more thing and they would be perfect. And then another, and then another. We’re so awkwardly British about the whole thing that we tell them how amazing they look, mortified at the thought of them realising they had been swindled out a load of cold, hard cash.
We also want to support the decisions of the women in our lives. Even if it means they inject toxic substances into their skin that they don’t need. But maybe there’s another way – amazing things happen with a little bit of honesty. I mean, I say that, but if you’re expecting this to end with my cousin turning her back on Botox, she very much has not. Much to my very vocal annoyance.
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