A few months ago we were hanging up Christmas stockings, placing wreaths on our doors and hanging our ornaments on the boughs of our trees. Excitement was in the air as we were preparing for Christmas.
With the holidays and the year of 2025 behind us some of us are still feeling or experiencing stress. Stress comes in many forms no matter what definition you give it. One of our friends Reagan lost his dog Dre, a blue American pit bull. At age 15 he died of cancer. Yet another friend is re-thinking her relationship with her significant other. In walks conflict in the form of emotional and interpersonal tension. Stress is the killer of smiles.
Why after a good run do husbands, wives, brothers, sisters and friends spar with each other? It is because the engine of life is still running. With life we all experience stress whether it is positive stress or negative stress.
There are four different types of stress that can have an impact on our lives. The first type of stress is Eustress. Eustress is a type of positive stress that helps us feel motivated. When we feel positive stress we are more creative and can problem solve more effectively. You may feel this type of stress when you are competing in a race or you may feel more productive at work, and overall feel a general feeling of well being.
The second type of stress, Distress is a bad form of stress and this type of stress appears when you are angry, frustrated or fearful. This type of stress may result in anxiety and other types of mental issues.
The third type of stress, Under-stress presents when you don’t have enough positive stress in your life and the results can be boredom and less motivation.
The fourth type of stress is Over-stress and this type of stress is a result of pushing too hard for a deadline. I feel that type of stress when I am dealing with immediate issues and don’t have time to think or process the task I am working on.
Not all stress is bad stress. Positive stress has its own characteristics and can help you accomplish good things. Positive stress helps us make the necessary changes in our lives and produces all the good chemicals in our body’s such as endorphins, serotonin and dopamine, which create a feeling of relaxation and contentment.
Positive stress acts as our radar and tells us we need a warm blanket when it is cold or tells us when it is time to make a job change. Positive stress can also alert us and let us know when we are feeling ill and need medical care. Two scientists recently uncovered a new benefit to positive stress and found that short periods of positive stress can have a benefit on our immune system.
With the presence of negative stress our bodies become overwhelmed and our immune system weakens. An overload of adrenaline is produced with negative stress which results in feeling anxious or fearful. With this said, bad stress can warn us in times of danger.
How we experience stress depends on how we define stress, what we think about the stressor and what ability we have to cope with the stressor. In defining a stressor in your life ask yourself: “Does this stress matter to me and if so how much.” I use the scale of 1-10. At the 1 level the stressor has very little to no importance to 10 being high in importance with 5 in the middle.
In finding ways to cope with stressful situations I find that cognitive reframing is important. This means simply changing your way of thinking. Dr. Elbert Ellis explained the relationship between thoughts and emotion with his ABC theory. A stands for the activating event that triggers stress. B stands for our beliefs about the stress and C stands for consequences or the feelings that result from our beliefs about the stress.
Your belief system defines whether your stress will be eustress or distress. Feelings come from thoughts whether conscious or unconscious and you can change your thoughts and thereby your feelings.
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