Time, once again, to take a look at some of the shorter tales about the law — those that are a little too short to fill an entire column. So, herewith, are some more compact “highs and lows of the law”:
• From the “My Lawyer Won the Lottery and All I Got Was This Lousy Tee-Shirt” file, came the story of a $40 million class action lawsuit against United Parcel Service filed by a San Francisco attorney. At one point, he offered to dismiss the case upon United Parcel’s payment of an “attorney’s fee” to himself of $8 million to $10 million — with no payment to the class members. When the judge assigned to the case heard about this “settlement offer” he promptly removed him from the case.
He appealed that decision, but his own lawyer had a rough time before the court of appeal arguing that this “tragic misadventure” was just a case of his having “temporarily forgot” his duties to his clients. (Curiously, while the court of appeal upheld his removal as counsel, it left open the possibility he might eventually get paid for the work he actually did on the case.)
Still, if you ever “temporarily forget,” say, to pay your taxes, try that excuse on the IRS. It should be a great source of amusement as they lead you away in chains.
• Back during the Clinton era came a story from Arkansas of Barbara Adams, a woman who loved Star Trek. Really loved Star Trek. According to contemporary news reports, Ms. Adams went around wearing a Star Trek: The Next Generation uniform, carries a “phaser” and a “tricorder,” and likes people to refer to her as “commander.”
What made Ms. Adams (excuse me, Commander Adams) legally noteworthy was that she wangled herself a seat as an alternate juror in James McDougal’s Whitewater trial. Now, this raises (at least) three questions: first, how did she get that phaser past the courthouse security folks every day?
Second, how could supposedly competent attorneys (to say nothing of the judge) allow someone like this, in that distinctive get-up, to sit as a juror, even an alternate? Was she the last person into the jury box and both sides had run out of challenges to excuse prospective jurors? Or was the defense hoping she might get into the deliberations, possibly giving them a stronger basis for appeal?
And finally: how would you have felt seeing “Commander” Adams sitting there in the jury box, waiting to decide your fate?
• Finally, it’s largely a forgotten scandal now, but back in the late 1990s, three San Diego Superior Court judges and a prominent local attorney either pleaded guilty to or were convicted on charges of mail fraud, conspiracy, and various other crimes in federal court, based on the attorney having bribed them with things like discounted automobiles for themselves and relatives, assistance with car repairs, and jobs for their adult children in exchange for favorable rulings on cases pending before each of the judges. One of the three eventually pleaded guilty to the charges and became the government’s star witness against the other two.
Demonstrating once again that most criminals are caught not because the police are so clever but because crooks are so dumb, the authorities took an interest in the judges’ activities after the local free newspaper, The Reader, took the time to review the annual financial disclosure statements the judges were required to file. Some of them had actually listed these gifts on the forms, assuming that no one would think that there was anything unusual about judges receiving gifts from an attorney who appeared before them regularly.
And just to show he wasn’t exactly a rocket scientist either, the attorney apparently paid for a used Jeep for the daughter of one of the judges involved with a $12,000 check bearing the notation that was simply the name of a court case that happened to be pending in front of one of the judges at the time. He apparently wanted to make sure that the cost of the Jeep got charged as a “litigation expense” to that case.
Well, at least he didn’t put “Bribe to Judge” on the check instead, to make things really easy for the U.S. Attorney.
When initially confronted with such charges, one of the judges is reported to have responded with a shocked, Shocked! reply akin to, “Hey, do you honestly think that I would jeopardize my career for a few discounts on car repairs and used vehicles and the like?”
And based on the results of the prosecution, the answer would appear to have been, “Yes.”
Frank Zotter, Jr. is a Ukiah attorney.
Hence then, the article about judicial follies taking a shortcut was published today ( ) and is available on Ukiah Daily Journal ( Middle East ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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