Sarah Shahi and Steve Howey appeared to be a match made in TV heaven before going their separate ways after nearly two decades together.
The pair met in 2003 when Shahi filmed a guest starring role on Reba, which Howey starred on from 2001 to 2007. The actors got married in February 2009 and went on to welcome their eldest son, William, later that year.
Shahi and Howey expanded their family again in 2015 with the birth of their twins, Violet and Knox. On the outside, Shahi and the Shameless alum seemed to have it all, but Us Weekly confirmed in June 2020 that they had filed for divorce one month prior.
“I was living the dream, but deep down, it was the furthest thing from what I wanted for myself,” Shahi exclusively told Us in January 2026 of her marriage to Howey before they split.
Steve Howey and Sarah Shahi's Relationship Timeline: The Way They Were
In the years since, Shahi has slowly opened up about the end of her and Howey’s marriage, what led to their divorce and where they stand now.
Scroll down for everything she’s has said about the split:
Joint Statement
“After much thought and consideration, we have decided to end our marriage,” Sarah Shahi and Steve Howey told Us in a joint statement in June 2020, one month after they filed for divorce. “We are so grateful for the past 10 years together and proud of our children that we’ve raised. As we enter into this new phase of our lives, our priority will remain co-parenting our children with so much love, mutual respect and friendship. And though our relationship is changing, we are committed to continuing our lives as a loving family.”
Evan Agostini/Getty ImagesThe Parenthood Shift
Sarah Shahi pointed to the birth of her and Steve Howey’s first child, William, in 2009 as a turning point in their marriage.
“From the time that our first child was born, our relationship suffered and it was hard to get back on track,” she claimed during an April 2023 episode of the “Not Skinny But Not Fat” podcast. “We were together for a very long time. We were together for 18 years. That’s not a failure. That was a long time. But the last 10 years we really did struggle.”
The L Word alum said, “Any flaws you have in the relationship before you have kids, if you don’t settle those things — that was my experience of, ‘It gets worse.’ It only gets worse. You have less time for each other, you have less patience, you have less desire because you’re just so damn tired.”
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‘Sex/Life’ Script Revelation
After reading Netflix’s Sex/Life script, Sarah Shahi said a lightbulb went off in her mind about her own relationship issues. (Shahi played Billie on the show, which filmed in summer 2020, from 2021 to 2023.)
“I was going through a time where I was really sort of living in a state of unhappiness,” she recalled during her April 2023 “Not Skinny But Not Fat” podcast appearance. “I was just questioning everything. As a wife and as a mom, you get told, ‘Well, but you have it good. You have it good.’”
The actress added: “I just felt so unseen. … It gave me the courage to say, ‘I’m not happy. And I feel like we should as individuals have the right to be happy.’”
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty ImagesBeing Honest With Herself
“On the surface — or from the outside perspective — everyone thought I had everything I ever wanted,” Sarah Shahi exclusively revealed in her Us Weekly digital cover story published in January 2026. “I was living the dream, but deep down, it was the furthest thing from what I wanted for myself.”
The Black Adam actress noted she knew it was time to end her marriage when she listened to her body.
“There were so many things that I was scared of, but it got to a point [where] I couldn’t ignore the fact that I felt like I was suffocating, and the person that was suffocating me was me,” Shahi confessed. “I needed to finally put my big-girl pants on and go, ‘I can do this, and it’s going to look messy, and it’s going to be hard, but at the end of the day, there is nothing I will enjoy more than peace.’”
Sarah Shahi Discusses Divorce, Adam Demos Split and Her Traumatic Childhood
Sarah Shahi and Steve Howey Are in a Good Place
“It worked out for both parties involved. There is no failure here,” Sarah Shahi exclusively told Us in January 2026, confirming that she and ex-husband Steve Howey have moved forward.
She shared, “I was in a relationship for 18 years and have three beautiful kids. It is by every definition a success to me and we have a beautiful relationship — Steve and I — now as coparents. It’s important to show the kids, in my opinion, that when something is out of sync, you have to have the courage to let it go.”
Kevin Winter/Getty ImagesTelling It All in Her Book
“As fate so divinely orchestrated, while I was filming Sex/Life, I was going through my own personal transformation. I’d been married for almost twelve years, together for nearly twenty, but my relationship was plagued by problems other than a fantasy man from the past,” Sarah Shahi wrote in her January 2026 book, Life Is Lifey: The A to Z’s on Navigating Life’s Messy Middle, of her offscreen love life with Steve Howey towards the end of their marriage. “The years of frustration that came from living a life well below my full potential finally came to a head. I was tired, bloated, and uninspired. The only ‘self-care’ ritual I had was the ten minutes a night I picked food out of my teeth.”
She revealed that once she did break up with Howey, it gave her a “PhD in pain.” Looking back at the split, she wrote, “Though truly it was best for everyone involved, seeing his wet signature on the final divorce paper was like having a piano dropped on my heart.”
Why Did Sex/Life's Sarah Shahi, Adam Demos Split? Surprise Breakup Explained
The Friend Fallout
Sarah Shahi revealed during a February 2026 episode of “Not Skinny But Not Fat” that her divorce also affected her friendships.
“I lost friends from it. It was friends that were very deeply in the know that were like, ‘What are you doing?’” she remembered. “[Those were] people that had my back up until the moment that I did get the divorce.”
Shahi said she was “dropped” by some of her friends after leaving Steve Howey. “I’m not a judgmental person,” she continued. “I’m always somebody where if someone’s going through something, I won’t give them my opinion but I’ll ask them a series of questions about how they feel so that way they come to their own conclusions.”
She added: “But the amount of judgment I got from getting the divorce from people who honestly were just [as] unhappy in their own relationships. They decided to stick it out and they thought I should do the same. That’s not what we’re here for. We’re here to have fun and be happy. Why can’t I do that? I have the right to be happy. Everybody has the right to be happy.”
Bryan Steffy/Getty ImagesSarah Shahi’s Kids Pushed Her to Leave Steve Howey
“Wanting to go after the life that I wanted for myself, and also seeing what I was modeling for my kids [pushed me],” Sarah Shahi told Chelsea Handler during a February 2026 appearance on the “Dear Chelsea” podcast. “I was like, ‘This needs to give me strength.’ And it did give me strength.”
The Chicago Fire alum explained, “I pictured my daughter in my situation, and I was like, ‘Would I be OK if she were living out this version of my life? Would I be OK if my sons were in a relationship where this is how love was modeled and reciprocated?’ And the answer was ‘no’ to all of it.”
Shahi revealed, “So as much as it sucks, as much as, you know, nobody gets married thinking about their divorce. It was something that I was like, ‘I owe it to my children to show them a mother who was happy, who was thriving, and who has the guts to go after her dreams.’”
She added, “So yeah, if anything, the kids kind of propelled me into it. And you know, like you said, this isn’t a decision that comes overnight. The demise of a relationship is never just one person. It’s two people and it’s a downward slope for a while.”
Rachel Luna/Getty ImagesThe Love Doesn’t Disappear
“There’s a lot of love there. You know, when you’re married to somebody for a long time, and you build a life and children and a home and memories, there’s a lot of love,” Sarah Shahi shared on a February 2026 episode of the “Chelsea Lately” podcast. “And that love doesn’t just go away even if you want a divorce.”
The actress noted it was “really interesting” for her to “explore” the idea of, “Where does that love go?” after divorce.
“Where do the pictures on the wall live? What do I do with the ring? Like all these things that you don’t think about right until after the fact,” Shahi confessed.
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