Psychologists Warn: Never Do This With a High-Level Narcissist ...Saudi Arabia

Anyone who's been in a narcissistic relationship—whether with a coworker, a romantic partner or even a friend—knows that they possess traits that make their counterparts feel drained. Often, it can be hard to know how to act around a narcissist and what not to do in their presence. To understand this, it can be helpful to lean into what type you're dealing with, exactly. At the core, narcissism is a set of behaviors that affects people's conflict-solving skills and causes them to have a significant sense of self-importance. According to Dr. Maya Klein, PhD., this can be assessed on a wide spectrum.That spectrum can start from a "hyper vigilant narcissist" to an "oblivious narcissist," she explains. She characterizes the former as a pernicious person who isn't aware of how they affect others, while the latter is someone who concerns themselves with how others view them—constantly scanning around to see if people notice their flaws.Knowing this, a high-level narcissist fits along the lines of someone who possesses narcissistic traits more intensely. So as not to encourage the actions of this type of individual, it can be important to re-evaluate how we act around them in order to minimize emotional damage to ourselves. And that includes understanding what to never do with a high-level narcissist, along with how to deal with one.Related: 13 Mind Games Played by ‘High-Level’ Narcissists, According to Psychologists

While not a clinical term according to some psychologists, a high-level narcissist can really describe someone who simply exhibits heightened traits of a "regular narcissist." According to Dr. Lainey Butler, PhD., it can "refer to someone with narcissistic traits that may be less obvious, that are still negative and impactful," she says."A person who displays a high level of narcissistic traits might appear very accomplished and charismatic," she says. "Or they might function very well or appear to in interpersonal relationships on the surface, while the impact of those traits can be felt more so in those close relationships."Related: One Thing You Should Never, Ever Do if You Have a Narcissistic Parent

The #1 Thing You Should Never Do With a High-Level Narcissist, According to Psychologists

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Professionals agree that you should avoid doing anything that will cost you emotionally.Essentially, psychologists suggest that you should avoid assuming responsibility for a narcissist's needs and emotions. Eventually, it'll come at the expense of your own well-being and cause you to feel exhausted.According to Dr. Klein, to simply just accommodate a narcissist in a relational way is when you'll typically be left unsatisfied, and possibly hurt."You should avoid orienting your behavior around trying to meet a high-level narcissist’s emotional needs," she shares. "Their psychology is organized around self-protection, not reciprocity, and doing so reliably erodes your own well-being."In a similar suggestion, Dr. Butler explains that when interacting with a high-level narcissist, it's crucial not to try to regulate their emotions. This could ultimately lead to higher tensions and can really wear down your own mental health."This is an especially important consideration when narcissistic patterns are present because it can be experienced as an attempt to control, subsequently increasing emotion dysregulation and conflict," she notes. "For example, saying, 'Don't get upset' or 'Let's calm down,' could escalate conflict, even if said to reassure and with the best intentions."Related: 9 Things Children of Narcissistic Parents Often Struggle With as Adults, According to Psychologists

There are a slew of other things you should try to not do around a high-level narcissist. Here are three more examples.

If you avoid having expectations of someone, chances are you won't be so hurt when they act the complete opposite way you thought they would, says Dr. Tammy Causey, PhD."You don't expect that they can express empathy or compassion towards you. You don't expect that they can hear you and make changes. Sometimes we keep engaging and having expectations because we just want to be heard and understood," she says. "And if you don't have expectations of what that person can do for you, then it's so much easier to communicate and do what you need to do with that person."

2. Don't try and fix them

Dr. Klein explains that this type of person often comes from a background where they were used as "a narcissistic extension" to their own caregivers. This essentially means that they were never viewed or treated as someone with real feelings, but rather as a tool to cater to someone else's narcissistic needs.She says it's important not to engage with trying to fix this aspect of their past."I would never recommend that someone engage with a narcissist around those more vulnerable elements," she states. "It can be very triggering for a person to beat a narcissist over the head with what happened to them in childhood. The context has to be forgiving for that."

3. Don't engage in the power struggle

According to Dr. Butler, sometimes interactions with a high-level narcissist can quickly turn into a battleground to "win" arguments and other escalations. She suggests that you avoid engaging in that dynamic altogether, as it can feel like "a game of tug-of-war.""There's a struggle for power that can come out in conversations and arguments. Not engaging in that struggle for power can help cut things off before they get too far. Things like refusing to keep score of who did what or who said what," she shares. "At the end, you might end up exhausted and feel like no progress was made."

How To Deal With a High-Level Narcissist

Ultimately, this might be the biggest question most of us have when thinking of a high-level narcissist. It can feel impossible to deal with them, especially when you must interact with them in places like the workplace or community spaces. But all hope is not lost. According to Dr. Butler, there are definitely situations, whether it's between family members or a boss at work, where "one might display those traits, and you can't always do something about that."Related: 35 Phrases To Disarm a Narcissist and Why They Do the Trick, According to TherapistsBesides therapy and emotional regulation, she says even simple things like "boundaries and calmness can be really helpful."Other times, it's sometimes better to walk away altogether, says Dr. Klein."Generally, the best thing to do is to exit the situation," she shares. "You're not going to get much traction fighting your side."Up Next:

Related: 7 Things High-Level Narcissists Absolutely Hate—and Why You Should Do Them

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