At 61 I found love again – on a dating app I swore I’d never use ...Middle East

Love in later life can feel like a movie plot: a second chance after the judge’s hammer has dropped on earlier romances. Yet as the new West End revival of the play Shadowlands – about the writers CS Lewis and Joy Davidman finding love in middle age – reminds us, passion and companionship can arrive when least expected.

Here’s my Valentine’s wish for anyone aged 50 and over: may you find love again, (or for the first time) and enjoy those mythical twenty good summers with someone who makes your heart feel lighter. It may actually extend your life.

Romance isn’t just for the young – in fact, perhaps the opposite. This week, a new report starkly describes a collapse of marriage among young people, with the number of weddings falling from about 400,000 in 1973 to just 224,000 in 2023, even as the population grew.

Young adults in their early twenties now marry at tiny rates: just 2 per cent for men by the age of 25, compared to 62 per cent half a century ago. But there’s an unexpected twist: older adults, once written off as resigned to solitude, are bucking this trend.

For example, men aged 66 and over are now marrying more than young men today. Maybe that’s because experience teaches them what truly matters. It certainly isn’t because desire disappears with age. Quite the opposite: when people know themselves better, warmth and affectionate companionship become more desirable.

Multiple studies reveal later life love has tangible health benefits for mind and body. They suggest that married or long-term partnered adults in the UK live 2.5-7.5 years longer on average than their single counterparts, with the effect particularly pronounced for men.

That is no guarantee of happiness, but it is a powerful hint that sharing life can add years and quality to them. Some of my peers protest (too?) loudly about the joys of singlehood. I’ve heard it so often: “I’m perfectly happy on my own.” And they truly might be. Yet, there’s a world of difference between content independence and closing the door on loving companionship. But, how to meet people?

Despite headlines about Gen Z turning away from dating apps towards real-life “meet-cute” culture, digital dating platforms still play a meaningful role in adult lives – even if older users aren’t the headline. While usage peaks among 18- to 34-year-olds, the rash of apps tailored to older adults have significant audiences. And, those older adults who visit dating services each month spend more time there than younger demographics. It suggests deliberate, focused searching for real connection. It’s how I met my partner.

So, to everyone who has loved and lost, who has dipped their toe into the dating pool only to pull back, or has dismissed apps, or even love, as the playground of the young: don’t give up. Yes, you may need to kiss a few frogs, but there are real people out there seeking meaningful connection in the same way you are.

Whether you meet over coffee, at a dance class, through an old-school friend (it still happens) or – like me – via an app you once swore you’d never download, there’s no expiry date on hope.

This Valentine’s Week, here’s to open hearts and second chances, to courage over cynicism – and to those twenty good summers together, at the very least!

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