Roy Keane is the pettiest man in football ...Middle East

You know what they say: if you can’t do, teach. Or in Roy Keane’s case, if you can’t do, slag off your fellow former players who can.

Keane has been on a one-man propaganda mission to undermine Michael Carrick since his erstwhile midfield successor took over as interim Manchester United manager.

If we were being generous, it could be because Carrick is relatively inexperienced – and Keane is acutely aware that United are a massive institution and as such require a manager with a long list of achievements and accolades to lead them.

Or maybe it is because Carrick’s wife called him a rude word on social media 12 years ago when Keane criticised his post-match interview following a Champions League game.

United had lost to Olympiakos and Carrick was hauled in front of the cameras to face a typically robust line of questioning from Gabriel Clarke. He did not look happy – and let’s face it, those old enough will know that Carrick has never been the most dynamic interviewee.

‘Anything to provoke a reaction’

But Keane laid into him, saying the interview was as flat as the performance. Carrick’s wife Lisa then called Keane a see-you-next-Tuesday, adding “anything to provoke a reaction”.

Which was not very civil – and Lisa must have known because the tweet was swiftly deleted and she apologised. But for Keane to bear a grudge over an emotional tweet in 2014 is childish in the extreme. We know she still lives in his head rent-free because he said she “has a big mouth, she will probably do the team talk” on a recent podcast. How the other “lads” on the podcast laughed.

Keane’s beef is almost as infantile as flouncing out of your international team’s pre-World Cup training camp because the cones are set up the wrong way and players are being too nice to each other. Which of course he has also done.

He has had managerial experience, of course. He got Sunderland promoted, but his exit was met with celebrations from a significant portion of the playing staff. And his spell at Ipswich was underwhelming. So after a stint as assistant Republic of Ireland boss, it was back to punditry. If you can’t do…

His role as irascible rent-a-whinge in a pundit’s chair is obvious in its intent to “get people talking”, rather than provide valuable insight. Sorry, Roy, but saying things like “shame on them”, “they’re mentally and physically weak” and “he should have been drowned at birth” (OK, we may have made up the last one) is not astute punditry. But it does look great on Sky’s TikTok feed. And we as consumers know what we are getting – Oscar the Grouch sans trash can.

But his repeated swipes at Carrick are odd – especially given that he sang the praises of one of his predecessors, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, despite his lack of experience and frankly terrible start to his first full season in charge.

Compare Keane’s latest dig: “So Michael Carrick is going to be the manager of Man Utd? He hasn’t got enough experience. I don’t think he’ll have enough football knowledge.”

Football knowledge, eh? Carrick’s coaching career began in 2018, as an assistant at Old Trafford under Jose Mourinho. He also won two games in his first stint as caretaker manager at Manchester United.

He then took over at Middlesbrough, when they were 21st in the table. He led them to fourth, where they lost in the play-offs. The following season he took them to the Carabao Cup semi-final. Not bad for someone with no football knowledge.

And, let’s not forget, that Carrick won his first two games as United manager this season – against the oil-fueled juggernaut Manchester City and Arsenal, the Premier League leaders.

Solskjaer vs Carrick

But Keane was not convinced. “Anyone can win two games,” he sputtered. “Even if they do get into fourth [at the end of the season], I wouldn’t be convinced he is the man for the job. Absolutely not.”

Which is fair enough. Until you read what he said about Solskjaer, a former teammate and similarly callow manager when he was appointed in 2019.

To set the scene, Solskjaer had signed a deal to manage United four months previously. They had just drawn at home to Arsenal and were sitting in 10th place on nine points. It was their worst start after seven games for 30 years. They had won just one in their last six games.

Did Keane turn up the grump-o-meter to 11? Did he demand that a horse’s head be left in Solskjaer’s bed and that he be subjected to a daily waterboarding? Not quite.

“I think he has been brilliant, a good honest guy,” Keane gushed. “We are all very impatient, we want success yesterday, but you have to give the man time.

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“They have given him the job. Support him in a couple of transfer windows. Are there more tough days ahead? You bet your life, but you need to stick with it.”

Which begs the question: if Solskjaer can be given time after a dreadful start, why can’t Carrick after a good one? It is worth pointing out that the former led United to a second-place finish in the Premier League and got to four cup semi-finals, so Keane was correct in his analysis.The reason why he is not offering Carrick the same amount of benevolence is painfully obvious. Keane has no time for Carrick. He has let an ancient personal feud cloud his judgement. The fact that Manchester United are looking the liveliest they have done for years under the stewardship of a man whose wife had the temerity to call him out for hyperbolic punditry must make Keane’s head explode.

And the worst thing for him is that his rage is plain to see.

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