Few cultural crimes seem more unforgivable than ageing in public. Rachel Ward has learned this the hard way. Forever frozen in the collective imagination as the luminous Meggie Cleary from The Thorn Birds, Ward has had to defend the simple fact that she no longer looks as she did four decades ago. Her offence? Existing at 66 without attempting cosmetically to reverse time. That this still requires explanation in 2026 is astonishing yet depressingly familiar. Ward’s “crime” is not that she looks old but that she looks different from the memories people have of her, memories preserved in amber. It’s as if actors have a moral duty to remain visually consistent with our nostalgia.
Other actresses have come to her defence, perhaps because they recognise the terrain all too well. Sharon Stone called Ward “the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen them all. Then, now, always”. Jamie Lee Curtis has made a second career out of resisting Hollywood’s “cosmeceutical industrial complex.” Andie MacDowell is now celebrated for letting her hair go grey, as if it were an act of radical bravery rather than basic biology.
I say all this having turned 61, conscious of how deadly that phrase “oh, you look good for your age” can feel. Meant as a compliment, it always carries the faintest undertone of disapproval. Is the clock ticking on our faces a personal failing? We are encouraged to look young, but punished if we merely look real. The dichotomy is also evident in the immortality of those who died young. Marilyn Monroe, James Dean and others are eternally fixed in time, never suffering the indignities of ageing. Their images are sacred because the years stopped, frozen by tragedy or fate, creating an impossible standard. Ward obviously did not die at 30, so is today judged not on her talent or achievements, but on a former version of herself.
Men are not immune to scrutiny, but the rules are looser. Ward’s actor husband, Bryan Brown, does not endure the same scrutiny at 78. However, Simon Cowell’s surreal facial evolution has become a national sport, oscillating between fascination and mockery. He is teased for looking “odd,” but rarely accused of letting anyone down. Sir Paul McCartney faces a different challenge: the peculiar cruelty of the Beatle growing old in front of people who still see and hear him as 25. Every new photograph is compared to Help! or Abbey Road. Time itself becomes the enemy, and he its most visible victim.
Why can we still not grow old gracefully? Partly because we have never agreed on what “gracefully” means. Is it acceptance? Resistance? Botox, but discreet? Grey hair, but glossy? The standard is impossible, ensuring failure. Ageing reminds us of our impermanence, and we do not like the reminder. It is easier to grimace at Ward’s image than confront the fact that the years are passing for us, too.
Growing old should not require a defence. It is not a lapse, loss of discipline or PR error. It is our most universal experience. Ward does not owe us Meggie Cleary forever. None of us do. Those who died young are immortalised, yes, but those of us who live must be permitted to accumulate years and change on our own terms. The only truly undignified thing is that we still pretend otherwise.
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