Okay, we didn't think we'd need to say this, but here we are: Cruel and controlling characteristics are not hot.
But, so it seems, the new thriller, The Housemaid, has viewers kind of confused about abusive behavior.
The film has officially broken the internet—but not necessarily for the reasons you might have expected. While it delivers ceaselessly suspenseful twists and turns, it’s one character, in particular, who has stolen the spotlight: Andrew Winchester (played by Brandon Sklenar).
He's emotionally distant, downright dangerous—and, according to thousands of viewers, undeniably desirable.
Across social media, audiences are openly admitting that they’re drawn to Andrew Winchester despite (and sometimes even because of) his "bad boy" behavior. His sharp authority and possessive edge have sparked heated debates, viral TikToks, and an unexpected surge of swooning. Some viewers even say that they’d willingly (and happily) tolerate his punishments if it meant being the object of his obsession.
Oof.
In the past month, Google searches for the phrase “we like bad boys” have jumped 12 percent, signaling an infatuation with the archetype of the—at best—morally gray man.
But why?
Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, resident therapist at Dating.com, says the attraction often lies in how easily acts of control can be mistaken for acts of devotion—and how intensity can be misconstrued as intimacy. Both pain and passion, after all, trigger emotionally intense (and sometimes addictive) chemical reactions in the brain.
"When someone walks into the room, owns it, decides on your behalf, and monitors your every move, it can easily be seen as deep care, strength, chivalry, and assertiveness," Bronstein explains. "The truth is, this is an underlying signal to fear. It's a red flag. Society has drilled into our subconscious that intensity equals passion, and now we don't know where to draw the line."
According to Bronstein, the traits that make fictional characters like Andrew Winchester irresistible on screen are the very qualities that spell "RUN!" in real life.
"The features we mistake for true love—control, emotional distance, obsessiveness—are all red flags wrapped in good storytelling," he says. "This attraction feels exciting in movies, but it's not something you want to replicate in real relationships. There's love bombing, and then there's authentic love."
Pop culture has long glamorized the villain, from brooding antiheroes to not-so-romantic romantic leads. These characters offer fantasy without consequences—a space where possessiveness looks like devotion and dominance masquerades as protection. The Housemaid taps directly into that fantasy, giving viewers a charismatic villain who feels thrillingly dangerous.
The problem, experts warn, is when those fictional dynamics begin to blur with real-life expectations. Admiring Andrew Winchester as a compelling character is one thing; seeing him as an ideal partner in the real world is another thing entirely. While there's certainly room for roleplay in the bedroom, what might harmlessly happen between the sheets could be glaring red flags in the streets.
As conversations around the film continue to explode online, one thing is clear: Audiences remain fascinated by the dark, complicated men of Hollywood. The challenge is remembering that what makes for gripping entertainment rarely (if ever) makes for healthy romance.
Related: 'The Housemaid' Is Officially Out: Sydney Sweeney Teases Photos From Set
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