MELBOURNE — The Melbourne pitch that paved the way for the second two-day Test of this Ashes series has been the focus of much criticism in the past 48 hours or so. But I’d rather a surface that’s too lively than a dead track that offers little to nothing to the bowlers.
We saw one of those at the same venue here eight years ago, when an England team who were also 3-0 down in the Ashes series drew a Boxing Day Test in which just 24 wickets fall across five days.
Back then, Alastair Cook led the way for England with an unbeaten 244, the highest score by an overseas batter at the Melbourne Cricket Ground.
It was one of the dullest games of cricket I have ever witnessed, probably only trumped by the England vs India Test at Trent Bridge in 2014 that produced a pitch so lifeless than James Anderson was able to score his highest Test score of 81 from No 11 in the batting order.
Even the great Steve Smith struggled (Photo: AFP)So forgive me for stepping in to defend this latest MCG pitch, but I’d always take a surface that is too juiced up over one that produces the mind-numbingly dull cricket.
Like a politician who’s forced to front the journalists camped outside his house after revelations of an extra-marital affair leak, MCG groundsman Matt Page was hauled in front of the media on Sunday to explain himself.
An ashen-faced Page, who took over his current role after that 2017 Boxing Day Ashes Test, admitted he was in a “state of shock”.
“I’ve never been involved in a Test match like it, and hopefully never involved in a Test match like it again,” he added.
Cook, writing in his Sunday Times column, jokingly apologised to ticket-holders and both batting line-ups for a pitch that saw 36 wickets fall inside two days.
“It was the best I ever batted on [in 2017],” he wrote. “Yet after watching two days of it people decided they never wanted to see anything like it again!”
England get their first win on Australian soil in 15 years, and it takes them just two days #TheAshes pic.twitter.com/LOFnf7I6aN
— Cricket on TNT Sports (@cricketontnt) December 27, 2025Plenty of Englishmen voiced their displeasure at the MCG surface, with captain Ben Stokes admitting his feedback to the International Cricket Council match referee Jeff Crowe would be “not good.” Former England captain Michael Vaughan also called it a “shocker” and the match Stokes’ men won by four wickets a “lottery”.
The loudest complaints, though, were reserved for the Australian media. Fox Sports, never knowingly undersold on their dislike of England, said: “It is the Test match that will forever carry an asterisk given its farcical nature.”
Cricket Australia, too, were unimpressed, especially as the early finish cost them an estimated £5million. Chief executive Todd Greenberg said: “A simple phrase I’d use is short Tests are bad for business. I can’t be much more blunt than that.”
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But the reception to this Melbourne pitch compared to the one in Perth that served up a two-day finish in the series opener has been markedly different. Australia won that match, with England’s poor batting largely blamed for the quick result rather than anything to do with a surface that saw 30 wickets fall in the first five sessions.
Cricket Australia’s Twitter handle even posted how pleased they were with the ICC’s pitch rating of “very good” back then, something that felt like a subtle dig at England’s batting.
Yes, the Optus Stadium surface flattened out in the second half of the final day, allowing Australia to chase down 205 with ease. But it still produced 19 wickets on day one, just one less than Melbourne.
The only difference is Australia ended up on the wrong side of a two-day crapshoot this time. And they call us whingeing Poms.
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