People With 'Quiet Confidence' Often Use These 17 Phrases, According to Psychologists ...Saudi Arabia

When you think of "confidence," your mind may shift to powerful CEOs or all-star athletes who clearly know their greatness. And hey! There's nothing wrong with knowing and celebrating your worth with literal, or even figurative, chest pounds and fist bumps. It's a positive to believe in yourself. Yet, psychologists share that it's possible to have certainty in yourself in a more understated manner. They call this "quiet confidence." "Quiet confidence is not loud or showy," explains Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor. "It is a steady belief in yourself that does not need to be announced. People with quiet confidence are comfortable with who they are, even when they do not have all the answers."You're not going to hear someone with this understated self-assurance brag or showboat. Instead, they're sure of themselves in an entirely different way. He adds that people with quiet confidence listen as much as they speak. When they do speak, they often use specific phrases. Parade spoke with him and other psychologists and they've shared 17 phrases people with quiet confidence often use. They also agree on one thing you're unlikely to ever hear them say.Related: 7 Nonverbal Cues That Instantly Make You Seem Classy

17 Phrases People With Quiet Confidence Often Use, Psychologists Say

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It's a common myth that confidence means acting like a know-it-all. "It's okay to not have it all together, and people with quiet confidence willingly admit shortcomings," says Dr. Michele Leno, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and host of Mind Matters with Dr. Michele. "They welcome the opportunity to learn and grow."Speaking of learning, another psychologist shares that people with quiet confidence often tack on "let me check" to this phrase."They value being accurate and correct over appearing smart," shares Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist.

2. 'I'm willing to try.'

Again, this phrase may not be dripping in louder displays of confidence, in which a person might guarantee they can do something. However, it's a brave phrase to use when you aren't so sure you can complete a task or are new to the game."They approach challenges with a growth mindset," Dr. Schiff says. "They are ready to take action while accepting that they don't need to be perfect, and it's okay if they aren't."Related: 10 Phrases That Make You Sound Gracious (Even When You’re Annoyed)

People with quiet confidence aren't a streaming service—they don't subscribe to on-demand culture."When asked to do something, there is no rush to say yes right away," reports Dr. Gina Radice-Vella, Psy.D., a psychologist with the Jersey Shore University Medical Center.She notes that even a subtle form of internal self-belief comes with the conviction to say "no" to things that people-pleasers might say yes to, regardless of their actual bandwidth."Instead, before making a commitment or agreeing to do something, quiet confidence allows them the time and space to make a well-thought-out decision," she explains.

4. 'I can't take that on right now.'

Sometimes, after checking, the answer will be no (or someone might give an outright no)."Individuals with quiet confidence are able to set and maintain strong boundaries," Dr. Radice-Vella shares. "They are incredibly self-aware and know their limits. Therefore, they can say no without guilt and can tolerate temporarily disappointing others."Importantly, she says that quietly confident types are, by nature, assured in their decisions, so don't expect overly apologetic RSVPs or excuses. Speaking of which...Related: 9 Phrases To Use Instead of Automatically Saying Yes, According to Psychologists

"People with quiet confidence can say 'No' without feeling compelled to offer a detailed explanation," Dr. Leno says.It's a complete sentence, after all.

6. 'I need a break.'

This vulnerable phrase is drenched in self-awareness and a sneaky high level of confidence."Self-care is essential, and those with quiet confidence will not remain in grind mode just to impress others," Dr. Leno says.

Dr. Schiff reveals that people with quiet confidence are often intentional. They weigh their options and feel good about their choice, regardless of pushback. Hence, they might respond to criticism with this phrase."They trust in themselves, which is part of quiet confidence," she adds.Related: 11 Phrases To Use Instead of Automatically Agreeing With Someone—When You Actually Disagree, According to Psychologists

8. 'Let's work together.'

There's humility and conviction in knowing the power of collaboration."They know that sometimes teamwork is necessary, and they seek it out accordingly," Dr. Leno says.

People who are clear about their values don't shrink themselves to fit in or yield to groupthink. Yet they don't insist they are right or that they're living in an echo chamber, either."They do not view dissenting opinions as threats or competition," Dr. Radice-Vella points out. "Instead, they see them as an opportunity to learn and grow. Confident in what they believe in, they are not afraid to openly express their opinions when they are different from others."Related: 11 Personal Details Psychologists Say You Should Always Keep Private

10. 'I'm disappointed.'

It sounds negative, but the ability to express disappointment rather than bottle up feelings is a sign of inner strength."Individuals with quiet confidence have strong emotional intelligence, which helps them to identify and effectively communicate how they are feeling at any given moment," Dr. Radice-Vella says. "They are able to express disagreement with a decision or course of action in a respectful and courteous manner."

Dr. Lira de la Rosa shares that people with quiet confidence don't get mad when others offer constructive feedback or share a problem they are having."When given feedback or even when someone shares something vulnerable, quietly confident people can express gratitude rather than defensiveness," he says.

12. 'I made a mistake. Let me fix it.'

"Recognizing and owning a mistake is one of the highest indicators of confidence," Dr. Radice-Vella says.She notes that this phrase lets people know, "I am human like everyone else, but I will not let this break me.”"It conveys humility, which builds trust and confidence in those around them, and demonstrates that they are willing to make things right," she adds.

This one may also surprise you, but again, getting vulnerable is a sign of a deep internal self-belief in your worth."Being able to communicate when you are having a hard time or struggling with something elicits respect and trust from those around you," Dr. Radice-Vella explains. "It symbolizes self-awareness and openness. A person with quiet confidence isn’t afraid or ashamed of showing vulnerability and does not feel compelled to sugar-coat how they are feeling."

14. 'I can handle this.'

Okay, this one might not surprise you. However, people with quiet confidence aren't afraid to break this phrase out when it's true, and have the keen self-awareness to know when it is."This demonstrates competence in one’s ability to handle difficult or challenging situations without being rattled," Dr. Radice-Vella says.

Some people may be afraid to say this one out loud for fear of looking "egotistical"—confident people do not. Importantly, people who display more muted forms of confidence are highly intentional about when they use this phrase, which adds to its impact and authenticity."Quiet confidence does not hide from pride—it is honest, not boastful," Dr. Lira de la Rosa notes. "When someone can acknowledge their own efforts without needing approval, it shows a healthy sense of self-worth."

16. 'I have learned to trust myself.'

Dr. Lira de la Rosa shares that this phrase is rooted in experience."It often comes from people who have lived through challenges, questioned themselves and slowly built self-trust through real-life growth," he explains.

17. 'I know who I am.'

There's a reason this quietly confident phrase sounds so profound—it is."There is so much power in this sentence. It does not boast or compete," Dr. Lira de la Rosa notes. "It also comes from a place of self-awareness, lived experience and personal clarity."Related: 10 Surprising Thoughts Psychologists Warn You Should Never, Ever Voice Out Loud, and Why

Psychologists say that people with quiet confidence steer clear of phrases like "I'm the best at this" and “I am better than everyone else.”"They don't need to declare superiority or boast, which can come off as insecure," Dr. Schiff explains. "'I'm the best at this' contrasts with quiet confidence, because their actions, reliability and expertise speak for themselves."Dr. Radice-Vella shares similar thoughts about the phrase "I am better than everyone else," which throws added shade at people."A person who has quiet confidence will not be inclined to put others down directly or indirectly in an effort to boost their image," she says. "They do not see others as a threat, but instead focus on improving their skills and reaching new personal milestones by working collaboratively with others."She adds that this quality makes someone with quiet confidence a natural leader."They often utilize the strengths of those around them for the benefit of the greater good rather than relying on an independent approach," she shares.Up Next:

Related: 7 Traits That Separate Emotionally Intelligent Leaders From Everyone Else

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