Considering its long-term buzziness, you probably already have an idea of what narcissism is. But in case you haven’t, it’s essentially having an inflated ego. You may also know that narcissistic tendencies are different from narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD. The latter is a diagnosable mental health condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) that requires a person to meet at least five of nine criteria. Additionally, people are often on a narcissistic spectrum rather than categorically having it or not having it. And within all that, there are such things as high-level narcissists who are master manipulators on top of their narcissism.Here, we’re focusing more generally on people who have narcissistic tendencies—specifically those who are pretty skilled in their narcissistic tactics (hence, the “high-level” part). What are the common things they say in romantic relationships, work relationships and other relationships to gain control and skew perspectives? While no two people are alike, high-level narcissists have almost like a playbook when it comes to warping things in their favor.So if you think you have a narcissist like this in your life, there are some things you hear more often than others (and you might be familiar with this list). So, without further ado, here are eight phrases high-level narcissists often use and how you can respond. Plus, other tips for how to deal with this specific kind of narcissist.Related: 4 Common Habits of High-Level Gaslighters, According to Psychologists
8 Phrases High-Level Narcissists Use, According to Psychologists
A phrase like this “deflects focus from the purported behavior and onto the other person’s anger or inadequacy, reframing the exchange as criticism of the victim rather than of the narcissist,” explains Dr. Patricia Dixon, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist in Florida who specializes in life transitions, anxiety and relationship issues.Additionally, she says, this phrase primes a gaslighting dynamic that suggests the narcissist will always be blameless. How to respond: She suggests saying something along the lines of, “I’m not fighting with you over everything you do or don’t do. I'm only talking to you about this specific behavior that upset me this time, and I want us to discuss it.”The rationale, she continues, is you’re bringing the conversation back to the actual behavior and impact.
2. 'I built this place.'
A narcissistic person may use this phrase to build their ego and claim ownership and power, especially in a work setting. “It’s basically their way of saying, ‘You owe me,’” explains Dr. Jason Walker, PsyD, PhD, program director and associate professor at Adler University. “Often, this phrase is used to rewrite history and diminish the work of others.”How to respond: He encourages sticking to the facts. You can say something like, “You’ve definitely taken on a major role—but so has the team,” mentioning examples of what others have contributed. “By reframing the narrative, it reinforces shared credit without confrontation,” he continues. “True leaders know that it’s a team, not a person, that makes a company great.”Related: 35 Phrases To Disarm a Narcissist and Why They Do the Trick, According to Therapists
Understandably, a past concern may bother you, especially if it’s become a part of a pattern or you've never gotten a real apology. A narcissistic person doesn’t want to validate that, though.According to Dr. Dixon, people use phrases like this to suggest you’re overreacting and to pressure you to stop voicing your hurt. They’ll say it even when their behavior is a continuing pattern.How to respond: To validate your concern and call out the idea that you’re being “unfair” or “punishing” them, she says to try this response: “I’m not bringing up the past to unhelpfully dwell on it; I'm talking about a repeated pattern that hasn’t been changed. If we can discuss what is happening now and how it’s impacting us, I'm open to that.”
4. 'If you were loyal, you’d agree with me.'
Welcome to a classic example of a guilt-trip. “The meaning is that disagreement implies betrayal,” Dr. Walker says. “Weaponizing loyalty to silence is one of the narcissist’s most favorite moves, and they design it to weaponize loyalty and silence critics. It’s all about control.”How to respond: Grounding yourself in integrity is key. He says you can do that with a phrase like, “I’m loyal to our mission, our goals, and I want to make sure we get this right.”Related: 8 Subtle ‘Guilt-Tripping’ Phrases That Are Easy to Miss, a Psychologist Warns
A key factor in toxic relationships is isolation, and phrases like this encourage it. “[This phrase] creates an obligatory, dependent dynamic and isolates the other person,” Dr. Dixon says. She adds that it also elevates the narcissist’s “sacrifices,” minimizes or controls the recipient’s needs and establishes indebtedness or guilt.How to respond: To affirm your self-worth and set a boundary against being “held hostage,” she suggests saying:“I’m glad you’ve done those things for me, but I still have my own feelings and needs. I refuse to let this dynamic make me feel indebted to you or responsible for your sacrifices.”
6. 'You’re too sensitive.'
This is a classic example of gaslighting and a deflection technique. “When you call people out for their behavior, the narcissist will reframe your reaction as the problem,” Dr. Walker explains. “It’s gaslighting at its best and meant to erode confidence and shift accountability.”How to respond: Rather than taking the bait, he encourages staying calm and replying matter-of-factly, saying, “I’m addressing the behavior, not reacting to it.” The less reaction you have, the more they’ll feel thrown off guard and not know what to do, he explains.
Narcissistic people may employ gaslighting tactics to manipulate you, and messages like this are examples of that. It “discredits the other person’s reality or perceptions, undermining confidence and making them doubt their own memory or judgment,” Dr. Dixon says.How to respond: Here, she recommends responding with, “That is not true of me. People can have different perspectives, and I can recognize my own without doubting my sanity.” She explains this dismisses the gaslighting and helps you maintain your perspective and sense of calm.Related: 5 Manipulative Phrases Straight Out of a Gaslighter’s Playbook, According to Psychologists
8. 'I’m just being honest.'
While portrayed as well-intentioned feedback, their phrase is likely more of an insult and a way to cover up cruelty. “It’s dominance dressed up as transparency,” Dr. Walker says.How to respond: Again, stay calm and professional while standing your ground. “Say, 'I appreciate honesty. Let’s make sure it’s constructive,'" he suggests. “This approach will reassert the standards you expect and respectful dialogue.”
Responding in those ways can, unfortunately, be easier said than done. Narcissistic tactics may cause you to question yourself or feel “less than.”“High-level narcissists are experts at destabilizing the self-concepts of others,” Dr. Dixon says. She and Dr. Walker share need-to-know tips when interacting with a high-level narcissistic person:
Ground yourself by reconnecting with your core values, memories and identity.Write a letter to your younger self, reminding yourself of your strengths, boundaries and why your boundaries are important to you.Engage in reality testing, aka remind yourself that your perceptions need to be based on observable behaviors, not another person’s attempts to rewrite reality.Keep a journal recording notes, dates and concrete actions (for your own records, not for confrontation, and to help with reality testing).Reach out to people you trust, like a friend, family member, therapist, mentor or support group.Continue to set boundaries by using "I" statements, naming the pattern and sharing the consequence if they break your boundary (e.g., “If we can’t talk without name-calling, I'm walking away”).Engage in activities and relationships that help you feel emotionally safe.Remember it’s them, not you. Remain non-defensive; avoid reacting. Stay anchored in the facts.Redirect conversations.Related: This Is the #1 Response a Narcissist Cannot Stand, According to a Psychologist
“The purpose here is to set a boundary, to validate your experience and to not allow them to move the conversation away from the issue,” Dr. Dixon summarizes.There’s also the consideration of distancing yourself from this person, if and how possible, which could mean getting another job if the narcissist is someone at work. “When you’re walking on eggshells because the ‘leader’ can’t take feedback and doesn’t want to hear ‘no,’ then that’s a major red flag,” Dr. Walker says. “Healthy leaders build trust; narcissistic ones build illusions.”Ultimately, remember the focus is on you and your well-being.“It’s not about responding to the other person,” Dr. Dixon says. “It’s about taking care of yourself and preserving your own sense of self.”Up Next:
Related: 13 Mind Games Played by 'High-Level' Narcissists, According to Psychologists
Sources:
Dr. Jason Walker, PsyD, PhD, psychologistDr. Patricia Dixon, PsyD, licensed clinical psychologistHence then, the article about 8 phrases high level narcissists often use according to psychologists was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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