DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a very close friend I have known for a long time. I enjoy seeing her and her husband. However, whenever we go out to dinner, she always tells me to make the restaurant reservation, as supposedly I know all the places to go to.
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We once went to breakfast, and she returned scrambled eggs.
It is so upsetting to me. I can understand if something is truly not good, but these are fine restaurants and they are just doing their typical service. I feel so horrible that she bothers the waiters by tasting four different types of wine and finally picking one that she then doesn’t like.
GENTLE READER: Stop going to restaurants with her: “You have such discerning taste, and I don’t want you to suffer when the food is not up to your standards. Why don’t we go to a museum or for a walk instead?”
Miss Manners warns that you may then have to listen to her unsolicited critiques on art. And nature. But presumably, she will not be able to send either of those back to the kitchen.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: For the last 12 years, I’ve worked as a member of a tight-knit office within a much bigger organization. My co-workers have been here even longer.
We know each other well because we have to travel together often, but don’t typically socialize outside of work (we’re together enough already!). I’ve been to a few graduation parties and a funeral, but generally don’t interact with my co-workers’ families much.
My oldest child is getting married, and we’re finalizing the guest list. I’m hesitating about who, if anyone, to invite from work. I think my director would genuinely like to attend, but am not sure about the other project manager, or my closest collaborator, whom I technically supervise.
Should I treat this as an all-or-nothing situation, like grade school birthday parties? Should I consider the office power dynamics when extending invitations? Or should I just assume most people think weddings are annoying and not worry about it? I’m not sure what is correct.
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Dear Abby: My dad wants to take this teen in. It’s going to be a disaster. Asking Eric: Should I tell her the real reason we didn’t go to her wedding? Harriette Cole: My boyfriend ghosted me, but when I saw him he acted like everything was normal Miss Manners: I don’t want to tell people how we got our puppy Dear Abby: I’m afraid to complain about the neighbor’s noisy kidsGENTLE READER: The rule is to invite anyone with whom you are friends outside of work. And that sounds to Miss Manners like exactly no one in this group, including your enthusiastic director. Keeping it equitable will be far more palatable, especially for your colleagues.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Who customarily walks the mother of the groom down the aisle?
GENTLE READER: Whichever groomsman is trying to avoid the bridesmaid he spent the previous night with will probably volunteer.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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