Unfortunately, we face a host of discouraging experiences in life, and it’s valid to feel disappointed by them. It’s fair to ask questions—like why something you wanted didn’t come through for you—and it’s understandable to compare yourself to others in the midst of that (as unhelpful as comparison is). But are these the best ways to deal with disappointment? Maybe not, but again, these are pretty common first responses to have.Disappointment phrases like “That was not what I expected,” “I had high hopes for this” and “I wish things had turned out differently” may come to mind in those moments. You might cry, want to avoid people or feel frustrated, just to name a few common reactions. Dealing with disappointment is difficult, perhaps especially at first when the feeling is fresh. In case it helps you feel less alone, Dr. Sally Fleck, PhD, a licensed psychologist and the Clinical Director of Pathlight Mood & Anxiety Center, shares some common areas of disappointment she’s seen:
Work-related disappointments, like not getting a promotion, getting laid off or being unsatisfied with a job.Family-related disappointments, like your family life not meeting your expectations, not getting married “on time,” not being able to have kids or getting a divorce.Failed relationships, whether romantic, platonic or another kind.Financial-related disappointments, like losing out on a big gain, be it a college degree not resulting in a lucrative, successful career or financially investing in a project that fails.Not meeting goals, especially after investing a lot of time, money and effort into them.Comparison to others, especially when you put yourself on the “losing” end and feel inadequate.Experiencing health challenges, especially if they occur despite your healthy habits.Sound familiar? Ahead, she shares her five best tips on how to deal with disappointment healthily and helpfully.Related: 35 Phrases To Disarm Your Inner Critic, According to Therapists
How To Deal With Disappointment: 5 Genius Ways, According to a Psychologist
Some of us judge ourselves for feeling a certain way and get annoyed with that emotion. While that’s understandable, it’s not helpful.“Do not ignore or avoid your emotions, as this can lead to more negative consequences,” Dr. Fleck says. “There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to feel.”After acknowledging, recognizing and naming the emotion, she recommends channeling it through journaling, exercise, creative activities or talking to someone you trust.Related: 12 Common Habits of People With High Emotional Intelligence, According to Psychologists
2. Practice self-compassion and self-care
Speak to yourself as you would to a friend experiencing the same situation, with kindness and support. Remember that you’re not alone. “Disappointments happen to everyone, so being vulnerable by sharing your experience with others can make you feel less alone and strengthen relationships by finding common ground,” Dr. Fleck says. She also encourages self-care activities, such as exercise, getting enough sleep and meditation.
As much as you may want disappointing circumstances to change, they often don’t. So, is there anything good you can reap from the experience? Dr. Fleck shares a thought: “Sometimes, a disappointing experience can actually propel you into a better opportunity or relationship that you wouldn’t have been able to reach if the disappointment hadn’t happened,” she says. To get to that point, it may help to pray for peace, talk to someone who experienced something similar or brainstorm growth opportunities and silver linings.Related: 9 Ways Successful People Handle Constructive Criticism, According to Psychologists
4. Adjust your expectations, focusing on what you can control
A disappointment can result from an unrealistic expectation that’s out of your control. So, Dr. Fleck recommends focusing on what you can control—such as your efforts and choices—to manage and potentially avoid future disappointments.Related: How To Deal With Difficult People, According to a Psychologist
5. Seek support from friends, family or professionals
Social connection is key, even (and perhaps especially) if you want to isolate yourself. “After a disappointment, it is important to surround yourself with people who offer encouragement, validate your feelings and provide a positive influence,” Dr. Fleck says. “Connecting with others who support you can help affirm your strengths and enable you to bounce back quicker.” If those tips don’t work and you’re dwelling on the disappointment, or if you want professional, third-party support, a therapist may be the answer. Regardless, remember this: In both facing disappointment and dealing with its effects, you’re not alone.Up Next:
Related: 8 Traits of People Who Say 'I'm Fine' When They're Not, According to Psychologists
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Dr. Sally Fleck, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, Clinical Director of Pathlight Mood & Anxiety Center and Clinical Director of the child and adolescent program at Eating Recovery Center of Dallas.Hence then, the article about how to deal with disappointment according to a psychologist was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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