Energy exists in many different forms. It can be kinetic (motion), potential (stored), thermal (heat), radiant (light), chemical, electrical and (apparently) bullshit. That last one won’t appear in any kind of scientific equation, but I assure you, it is every bit as powerful as nuclear fission.
Can I give you an example of bullshit energy? Absolutely anyone who talks about “masculine” and “feminine” energy with a straight face is trading in pure, unadulterated bullshit.
Masculine and feminine energy? Urgh. I know this column is a text-based medium, but can you still hear my eyes rolling? I fear I won’t be able to accurately express just how much I loathe this reductive, pseudo-scientific, drivel; often peddled, in my opinion, by spiritually bankrupt con artists, looking for easy answers and a quick buck – but I’ll do my best.
For the record, I’m not talking about presenting as more typically masculine or feminine in appearance. Nor am I talking about gender fluidity and trans identities. I am talking about those within the modern dating scene who talk about “masculine and feminine energies” in order to police traditional gender roles between men and women, or by those poor souls simply trying to understand the dating world.
A kilowatt is a unit of energy, a joule is a unit of energy, as are volts, therms and calories – all established and useful units of energy. Masculine and feminine energy is nonsense, measured only in units of patriarchal tutting. What we are really talking about here are “vibes”, not energy, which doesn’t show up on any kind of scale. It’s masculine and feminine vibes – and spectacularly outdated and limiting ones, at that.
If someone is exhibiting what have been traditionally understood to be masculine vibes (being dominant, assertive, buying a leaf blower in middle age, etc) then they might be said to be “in their masculine”, or to be exhibiting “masculine energy”. At which point, gullible halfwits will nod along sagely, muttering about how insightful and brilliant this all is. Likewise, if a woman forgets how to parallel park or how to read a map, she can be said to be “in her feminine”, and can content herself with thinking about kittens and giggling at her husband’s sexist jokes.
I am being facetious, but I’m not that wide of the mark. A quick Google search will bring up page after page of self-help gurus who are only too happy to explain what is meant by masculine and feminine “energies”.
One relationship coach claims “masculine energy can manifest as being a provider, a protector, and a leader, while feminine energy can be seen as being nurturing, receptive, and intuitive”. A life coach says that “the masculine energy is assertive and dominant; while the feminine is intuitive and nurturing“. Another coach insists that “masculine energy is often associated with qualities like strength and confidence”, while “feminine energy is often associated with qualities like empathy and compassion. It may involve a deep emotional connection with others and a desire to care for their well-being.”
You can tag as much faux spirituality on this as you like, but these are traditional (read patriarchal) gender roles, repackaged as personality types for the modern dating scene – and it needs to be consigned to the dustbin, along with star signs, love languages and adults who tell you which Harry Potter house they are in.
The concept of “masculine” and “feminine” energies has been around for decades but has largely remained contained within neo-spiritualist groups, occasionally escaping into the world of pick-up artists. It’s usually tarted up with reference to the sacred and the divine, but make no mistake; this is simply misogyny with mandalas stamped on it. It has no more spiritual weight than factory-produced crystals or harem pants.
square POLLY HUDSON From 'Shrekking' to 'submarining', Gen Z's dating trends make me glad of one thing
Read More
The basic principle is that masculine and feminine exist as energic polarities residing within each of us and they need to be in balance with each other, like yin and yang, or Ant and Dec. Allegedly, we are most attracted to other people who complement our own energies… i.e as a feminine woman, I will be attracted to someone with masculine energy (I actually felt nauseous typing that).
I have spoken to many proponents of this philosophy. They will tell you that it’s not sexist because these energies exist within all of us and anyone can be in their masculine/feminine. This is a flimsy cop-out.
In actuality, this is arbitrarily labelling personality traits that exist within all of us. It’s how star signs work – you take a group of personality quirks, lump them together and call that an Aries. If you are more assertive and commanding, then just say that. You don’t need to call it a “masculine energy”.
Eckhart Tolle and Jordan Peterson are some of the big names in modern philosophy who also tout this overly simplistic bum-fluff, which lends a thin gloss of intellectualism to it. But it isn’t intellectual. It’s sexism writ large.
Can you see the problem? Pushing the idea that there are a set of original characteristics that are inherently masculine or feminine is a hair’s breadth away from telling women that they are “naturally” inferior, because of their “energy”.
In the last few years, I have witnessed this drivel moving away from pseudo-philosophical musings and into the mainstream. It has now leaked into social media, where a plethora of dating coaches of increasingly dubious credentials advise women to “step into” our feminine and be “nurturing, caring, supportive, and joyous;” and for men to be masculine, and “be a good leader . . . be ambitious… be decisive, and… be protective”.
I am a freelance writer and presenter. I can’t spend all day lounging about trying to find things to nurture in the hopes of attracting a man, who is busy being decisive all over the place. This is little more than a rehashing of tired, patriarchal messaging that tells women to stay at home. This is the soft sell of the “alpha male” and the “trad wife”.
Perhaps the most alarming place I have seen this f**kwittery pop up is in Channel Four’s most streamed show, Married at First Sight. Hardly the front line in complex philosophical arguments, I grant you, but with an audience of millions, we cannot underestimate how influential messages formed here can be.
And it’s not just the poor sods who have signed up to marry a stranger who are regularly trotting out this garbage; the so-called “experts” are in on it as well. In a recent episode, host Paul C Brunson declared that one contestant would “appreciate her bride’s masculine energy,” as sex therapist Charlene Douglas and psychologist Mel Schilling nodded along in agreement. Even Channel 4’s YouTube channel posts videos with titles like “struggling to find the masculine energy in your wife”.
In my opinion, every self-appointed life coach, dating guru and spiritual adviser who seriously uses such terminology should be allowed to apply to their alma mater for a refund on their fees, if they have any qualifications at all. There is no original state of masculine or feminine, only reductive labels that try to account for complex human personalities by clumsily dividing them down the middle.
Hence then, the article about if your date talks about masculine energy run a mile was published today ( ) and is available on inews ( Middle East ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( If your date talks about ‘masculine energy’, run a mile )
Also on site :
- ‘Free Bert’ Review: Bert Kreischer Strips Away the Shirtless Party Boy Persona, but Also the Laughs, in New Netflix Comedy
- South Africa pushes for renewable energy investment
- The Crimean Tatar movement trying to ruin Russia’s army from within