Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents To Give These 10 'Growth Mindset' Compliments to Kids ...Saudi Arabia

Wanting to raise happy kids and remembering to boost their self-confidence are common goals for parents, grandparents and guardians. You might have complimented their drawing, told them they were smart or encouraged them when they struggled with self-esteem, to name a few examples. In a sense, it doesn’t need to be more complicated than that. With that said, certain kinds of compliments can be more beneficial than others, especially long-term. Those compliments are growth mindset-focused. Not only can they help a child feel good in the moment, but they can also help them independently handle difficult situations later.To make this task easier, psychologists explain what a growth mindset is, how it helps and examples of growth mindset compliments they recommend giving to children.Related: A Clinical Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Start Doing These 4 Things

What Is a 'Growth Mindset'?

First, let’s start by getting clear on what we mean. “A growth mindset is basically the belief that you can get better at things with effort and practice,” says Dr. Nicole Lipkin, PsyD, MBA, a psychologist and the founder of HeyKiddo. Put another way: “The growth mindset philosophy is founded on the principle that effort is more important than results,” says Dr. Nicole Anders, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist, author, expert witness, speaker and yogini.Related: 7 Things ‘Emotionally Strong’ Grandparents Do Differently, According to Child Psychologists

It’s the opposite of a “fixed mindset,” or the perspective that someone’s personality and skills are unchangeable and can’t be improved.Related: ‘If at First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try, Try Again’ & 99 Other Inspiring Growth Mindset Quotes

While it may sound simple, the effects are significant. Dr. Lipkin and Dr. Anders list the following examples: 

It helps kids lean into challenges instead of shutting down in the face of them.It takes the fear out of making mistakes.It turns setbacks into learning opportunities. It fosters resilience, courage and persistence in the face of failure.It helps kids derive meaning, not shame, from mistakes.It keeps them motivated and positive even when success seems distant. 

“The goal is to have them persevere when they are struggling, and not just celebrate when they are succeeding,” Dr. Anders adds.

Are 'Fixed Mindset' Compliments Never Helpful?

To be clear, we don’t mean to demonize fixed mindset compliments here. While growth mindset compliments are probably your better option, fixed mindset compliments have their place.“Saying things like ‘You’re smart’ or ‘You’re a natural’ isn’t the end of the world,” Dr. Lipkin says. “The problem comes when kids only hear that kind of praise.”Dr. Anders agrees. “There are many occasions when telling a child ‘You are kind’ or ‘You are funny’ is exactly what a child needs to hear and will positively reinforce their identity,” she says. “The issue is not the phrase itself, but the frequency and exclusivity of its use.”The concern, the psychologists continue, is that kids may wrap their identity up in that compliment. They may think that since they're “the smart one,” failure is scary and threatening. They may think that one “failure” removes their “smart” descriptor. “So it’s fine to recognize natural strengths now and then, but most of the time it’s healthier to focus on effort, persistence and problem-solving,” Dr. Lipkin continues. “That’s what helps kids grow.”Related: Parents and Grandparents Who Raise Self-Aware Kids Often Do These 6 Things, According to Child Psychologists

This compliment is a quintessential example because it focuses on the effort and process.“Effort is something a child can control, and acknowledging it helps them value the process, not just the outcome,” Dr. Lipkin says. You might use a compliment like this one when your child shows you their school project, for example. Related: The 6 Words Therapists Wish Every Parent Would Say to Their Kids More Often

2. “You came up with such a creative way to solve that.”

Giving compliments like these can encourage children to think critically, find their own answers and go against the status quo when needed.“This shows kids that strategy and flexibility matter,” Dr. Lipkin says. “It keeps them from thinking success only comes one way.”

With this compliment, we’re back to persistence and effort. “Pointing it out helps kids recognize their own grit,” Dr. Lipkin says.By reminding kids they have grit, they feel encouraged to utilize it when future obstacles arise.Related: 11 Things Emotionally Supportive Grandparents Never Say to Their Grandkids, According to a Psychologist

4. “You learned something new today.”

It’s helpful for kids (and all of us, really) to remember that knowledge is a process. It requires an ongoing learning journey, and one in which we can celebrate each small “win” along the way. “This keeps the focus on progress,” Dr. Lipkin says. “The win is in the learning, not in being perfect.”

Giving kids compliments can help them develop healthy self-esteem—and it’s best to help them build self-esteem that isn’t only external. You want them to feel good about themselves naturally, and that’s where this compliment comes into play.“This reinforces their own sense of accomplishment first, then layers in your support,” Dr. Lipkin says. “It builds internal motivation instead of making your approval the only prize.”Related: 10 Things Every Kid Needs To Hear From Their Parents and Grandparents, Child Psychologists Say

6. “I love how you didn’t quit even when it got boring.”

This one also comes down to grit, something kids can and do have both now and in adulthood. “We all think kids are the ones that have trouble when things get hard, but here’s the truth: Most people just quit when it gets uninteresting,” Dr. Anders says. “Training patience by giving compliments for not quitting when you could is so much more helpful than talent when real life gets chaotic.” 

This phrase praises a child’s creativity, independence, uniqueness and confidence all in one statement. It’s also a great way to encourage critical thinking.“When we compliment kids on being unique, we give them an emotional reason to shine rather than blend,” Dr. Anders says. “Even if their methods are a little wacky, praise the process of giving something new a shot.”

8. “You didn’t know how to do that yesterday, but look at you now.”

Dr. Anders says that compliments like this one provide evidence to a child that they're learning and growing—and doesn’t that feel good?“When you anchor improvement to the calendar, they start to focus on the process rather than on magical outcomes,” she adds. “It gives them a bit of perspective.”Related: Child Psychologists Say These 9 Phrases Are Doing More Harm Than Good—Even if You Mean Well

Knowing it’s OK to ask for help—and that we need help to grow—is huge. So many people think asking for help is a sign of weakness. Reframing that idea can be transformational for a kid’s learning and emotional well-being.“Put a spotlight on their choice to get support,” Dr. Anders says. “This one is one that turns the whole shame culture on its head.”

10. “You kept your cool even when it didn’t go your way.”

Compliments can reference emotional behaviors, not just achievements on the field or at school. They’re also a way to shape your child.“We need to teach children that regulation is a behavior we should all celebrate,” Dr. Anders says. “When we compliment their choices when they are under stress, we provide a reason for them to self-regulate the next time they find themselves in a jam.”

Up Next:

Related: 6 Compliments a Child Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Saying

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Hence then, the article about psychologists are begging parents and grandparents to give these 10 growth mindset compliments to kids was published today ( Wednesday 08/10/2025 - 12:45 PM ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.

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