12 Genius Phrases To Shut Down ‘Mansplainers,’ According to Psychologists ...Saudi Arabia

Mansplaining: It's something that so many women have experienced. Just looking at the word may elicit eyerolls, a stomach ache and so many unpleasant memories of work meetings and conversations about sports and or rock bands. One psychologist can empathize, and weighs in on mansplaining's meaning."Mansplaining isn’t simply 'a man explaining,'" points out Dr. Gayle MacBride, Ph.D., LP, a psychologist with Veritas Psychology. "It’s an unsolicited, overconfident explanation delivered with the assumption of superior knowledge or experience. It’s often offered to someone who already knows the subject, sometimes more deeply than the explainer. Notice that the above doesn’t say it has to be a man."With that said, it often is, though. Either way, understanding how to stop a mansplainer can help you protect your peace. It may even cause the person speaking to you condescendingly to think twice before speaking to you—or someone else—again in that manner. Put the following 12 genius phrases to shut down mansplaining in your back pocket to reclaim your space and peace.Related: 12 Things Emotionally Intelligent Women Do That the Average Person Avoids, Psychologists Say

Mansplaining Meaning and Its Impact

Dr. MacBride doesn't hold back when asked why this behavior is so annoying. She says mansplaining communicates a "cocktail of disrespect" and erasure."Mansplaining overrides expertise, steals agency and telegraphs, 'I don’t trust that you understand,'" she explains. "It lands as a humiliation in the moment and as a degrading pattern over time."She says that women experience mansplaining disproportionately. Yet, anyone can be on the receiving end: junior colleagues, people from marginalized groups and even men in situations where they're being stereotyped as "incompetent" (think "Dads can't change diapers," which actually doesn't help women in heterosexual relationships, either)."These interactions are about power being asserted through tone and certainty rather than collaboration and a growth mindset," she shares.Oh, and she continues, saying that mansplaining also:

"It also silences others for fear they will be shut down in a similar way," she explains. "So, now instead of speaking up, we are spending energy trying out the best way to contribute that won’t 'bruise' his ego."Forget that. Instead, stop mansplaining by using one or more of these 12 phrases.Related: If You Answer ‘Yes’ to Any of These 5 Questions, You’re Probably Undervalued at Work, Says a Psychologist

You don't have to wait for the mansplainer to clear out before you take back the floor they stole from you. Dr. MacBride loves that this phrase is "clean, clear and hard to argue with.""It reclaims the floor without drama and signals a boundary," she reports. "Use it the moment you’re interrupted. Say it calmly. Then, continue talking as if it’s a period, not a question."

2. 'Let's stay on topic, I was saying...'

Fellow meeting go-ers with other things to do will silently applaud this one."Mansplaining tends to derail or take over a discussion, and this phrase keeps the spotlight on your idea without defensiveness," notes Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist.

Dr. Emily Guarnotta, PsyD, PMH-C, a psychologist and the owner of Phoenix Health, suggests this phrase because it U-turns the conversation—and power—back to you."It puts the onus on the person to explain why they're interrupting using a calm, but curious question," she explains. "This will hopefully cause the person to pause and reflect on their interruption."

4. 'Great question/comment. I’m asking that questions and comments be held to the end.'

Dr. MacBride shares that a longer version of this phrase would include your reasoning for holding comments. It sounds like, "Great question/comment. I’m asking that questions and comments be held to the end to help with time and because my prepared talk may address these things as I go through the rest of the material.”Whether you go short or long, she likes this phrase because it acknowledges your intent and ends the lecture."It’s effective because it keeps meetings from derailing," she explains. "It may even give you an opportunity to address the individual more privately as individuals disperse from the meeting."

As tempting as it is to shut down not just the mansplaining situation but the mansplainer themselves, it's not always the most professional route. Dr. MacBride shares that this phrase allows you to pivot from the annoyance and humiliation of mansplaining without closing the door on what might be a productive conversation."This phrase will signal to the mansplainer that they have been heard, and you are willing to look at their side of things, but not let them derail what is happening now," she shares. "It will also take away the audience, which dials down the pressure for you and maybe the incentive for the performance for them."

6. 'My experience has shown me that...'

Often, what makes mansplaining so irritating is that the person doing it has far less experience on a topic than the person they're talking to. This phrase allows the expert in the room to put a flag down, asserting their right to take up space (even if they shouldn't have to)."I like this phrase because it anchors your position by using your own personal or professional experience," Dr. Guarnotta notes. "It establishes your credibility on the topic by letting the person know that you have experience in this area."Related: 5 Things That Emotionally Intelligent People Do When They’re Disrespected

Similar to #6, this phrase helps you re-establish yourself as a seasoned professional."This highlights your expertise and reclaims authority," Dr. Schiff explains. "This can be especially effective in professional settings where credibility matters. This subtly reminds the other person of your qualifications or background."

8. 'You may not be aware of this, but I have X years/degree/credentials in this area.'

This one gets more specific than numbers 6 and 7."This is a direct way to address a concern and elevate your credentials or even remind a manager of your CV, resume and experience," Dr. MacBride says.

Consider this one a more polished and socially intelligent way of saying, "Tell me something I don't know, bro.""It directly establishes that you have knowledge on the topic without escalating the situation," Dr. Schiff says. "You are signaling confidence, and it shuts down any unnecessary elaboration in a firm but polite way."

10. 'That's an interesting point. As I was saying...'

This one offers a firm pivot with just enough verbal padding to land softly on the mansplainer."I like this one because it acknowledges that the person has spoken and then redirects the conversation back to you," Dr. Guarnotta reports. "The acknowledgment is often enough to satisfy the person's needs to be heard without dwelling on it. The second part allows you to reclaim the floor without getting sidetracked in unnecessary debate."

Dr. Guarnotta is a fan of this phrase because it's assertive but not aggressive."It clearly sets the boundary and conveys confidence," she states. "The second part is a polite cushion that helps to de-escalate conflict. It communicates, 'I'm not looking for an explanation, but I acknowledge you.'"

12. 'I have this handled.'

Sometimes, the best route is the most straightforward one, such as if someone didn't pick up on gentler or less direct attempts to shut down mansplaining. This phrase meets that moment. "This one is short and direct," Dr. Guarnotta explains. "It clearly sets a boundary and conveys confidence. It also feels very empowering."Related: If You Have Imposter Syndrome, You Likely Live With These 9 ‘Unspoken Fears,’ a Psychologist Says

The #1 Thing Not To Say to a Mansplainer

Psychologists advise against saying anything that explicitly calls out mansplaining, like "Are you mansplaining to me?" or "That's mansplaining.""It can trigger a meta-debate about the label," Dr. MacBride says, though she acknowledges that it may be understandably tempting when it's obnoxiously accurate.Dr. Guarnotta echoes similar sentiments—it's best to avoid labels so you don't have to dive into distracting debates about definitions."It immediately puts the other person on the defensive and escalates the conflict," she shares. "It also derails the conversation into an argument about their intent and character. It's unlikely to be productive and almost guarantees that they will be defensive and stop listening, which moves you away from your goal of being heard and respected."Up Next:

Related: If You've Said Any of These 14 Phrases, You Probably Have a Fear of Abandonment, Psychologists Explain

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