For those of us who are parents or grandparents in 2025, it can feel like the world is a much different place than when we were growing up. It's not just all the smartphones and technology, or acronyms and slang terms that keep popping up (6-7, GYAT, PMO, you get the picture). It's also the way we know more about psychological well-being and openly discuss therapy and mental health in general.But now that these topics are being talked about more in regular conversations and on social media, there are also more myths that become circulated and believed as well.Joe Nucci, LPC, psychotherapist and author of Psychobabble, focuses on bringing to light "mental health misinformation, pop-psychology facts and fallacies, and culturally misconstrued ideas," and he's shared with Parade the number one mental healthy myth he wishes parents and grandparents would stop believing, why it's so easily believed and what the truth is instead. Plus, he debunks other common myths, and reveals the best ways to support a child's mental health.Related: 7 Things ‘Emotionally Strong’ Grandparents Do Differently, According to Child Psychologists
The Mental Health Myth Parents and Grandparents Should Stop Believing, a Psychotherapist Warns
"There is this myth in parenting that goes something like this:'If I set firm boundaries, say no, punish bad behavior or if my child gets upset, I’m traumatizing them,'" Nucci tells Parade. "While the desire to not traumatize your child is sensible, some people take it too far when they don’t understand exactly what trauma is and what it isn’t."In his book, Psychobabble, he calls this out directly."Disciplining your children doesn’t cause trauma," he continues. "It’s important to note that I am talking about discipline in its broadest sense and this should not be confused with commentary on physical discipline."He adds, "It’s often the case that when working through conflict or emotional discomfort, teenagers and children may accuse their parents of traumatizing them. While there are some parents out there who do things that result in their children having trauma, there's a big difference between trauma and regular hardship in conflict. The latter can actually be very healthy."Related: A Clinical Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Making This Punishment Mistake
"This myth is so common and easily believed because as mental health has become destigmatized and even popularized, parents are making a laudable effort to improve the mental health of their children—this in itself is great and should be commended," Nucci shares. "The issue is that there is so much misinformation out there that sometimes we do things with good intentions that end up being ineffectual or even harmful."In actuality, if you try to help your kids or grandkids avoid uncomfortable feelings of accountability or disappointment, you'll likely hurt them in the long run."It’s also very human and understandable why you want to shield your children from emotional pain, but unfortunately, life is going to present challenges to them and they need to develop resilience without experiencing everything as a 'trauma,'" he explains.Related: The 6 Words Therapists Wish Every Parent Would Say to Their Kids More Often
What Parents and Grandparents Should Realize Instead
"Over time, different mental health term’s definitions have expanded," Nucci says. "This is what the researcher Nick Haslam calls 'concept creep.' We say 'depression' to mean that we're feeling 'sad' or 'unmotivated.' We say we're 'anxious' to mean we're feeling 'nervous' or 'self-conscious.' The truth is that there is a difference between a clinical mental health concern and a universal human emotional experience."
This applies to the term "trauma" as well.
"Trauma is real, but that doesn’t mean that everyone has trauma," he explains. "We are often confusing 'trauma' with 'hardship' or 'stress.' Furthermore, we think that just because trauma is subjective means it’s universal. Trauma is subjective in the sense that two people get into the same car accident, one might develop a trauma response and one might not. Two children grew up in the same home and one will develop mental health problems and the other one won't. What happens is we make the mistake of thinking that just because we can develop trauma responses to anything (including an imperfect parenting style) that means we will have trauma. This is simply not the case."Related: People With Unresolved Childhood Trauma Often Develop These 15 Traits as Adults, a Psychologist Says
"They can overlap, but they’re different processes and need different support," Nucci tells Parade. "While everyone experiences losses and deals with grief throughout their lives, that does not mean they are traumatized by the loss. In either case, therapy can be really helpful."Related: This ‘Often Invisible’ Parenting Behavior Is Detrimental to Children Long-Term, According to a Trauma Therapist
2. “Hurt people hurt people.”
"This is sometimes true, but often not," Nucci says. "The reality is we all get hurt, but not all of us turn around and hurt others. It’s important to have compassion for those who have been hurt and forgive those who hurt others because they have not healed. But it is also important to not excuse poor behavior. We can have empathy for others and standards for how we expect to be treated."
"This is helpful sometimes and harmful other times," Nucci explains. "Emotional regulation can look like practicing mindfulness and waiting until it passes, but it’s also essential that children and teenagers learn something called adaptive avoidance—where they can intentionally suppress their feelings so their feelings do not encourage them to do something regrettable. The only person that gets to feel everything and express everything at the intensity they feel it are infants."
4. “Using Therapy-Speak Makes You Emotionally Intelligent.”
"Learning about psychology and mental health can be intellectually fulfilling and even useful when it comes to improving your emotional capacity and relationships," Nucci begins. "Having said that, being emotionally intelligent is not the same thing as simply using the words that therapists sometimes use. In fact, people will often get very annoyed if they feel like you're analyzing them or trying to win an argument by invoking psychology. Whenever you can, use your knowledge of psychology to navigate the situation without the words. Show, do not tell."
Related: Parents and Grandparents Who Raise Independent Kids Often Do These 6 Things, According to a Child Psychologist
6 Ways Parents and Grandparents Can Better Support a Child's Mental Health
Nucci shares the following ways parents and grandparents can help support their child or grandchild's mental health:
Validate feelings without reinforcing the idea that feelings are always “true.” Normalize conflict and repair.Ask if they want support or advice. Help them distinguish between mental illness and regular problems of living. If they want to go to therapy, take them.Remember, you can be feelings‑oriented without being permissive. “Gentle” and “warm” in tone does not mean “boundary‑free” and letting them do whatever they want. Practice holding compassion and structure at once. Kids aren’t made “soft” by expressing feelings or having their feelings respected. They’re made fragile when adults consistently remove every discomfort instead of supporting through it or when children are forced to unnecessarily suppress.Up Next:
Related: 6 Compliments a Child Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Saying
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Joe Nucci, LPC, (@joenuccitherapy), psychotherapist and author of PsychobabbleHence then, the article about a psychotherapist is begging parents and grandparents to stop believing this mental health myth was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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