If Prince Harry was reading the leaves in the one cup of tea he was offered at his meeting with the King on Wednesday afternoon, then they might well have told him: “You’ve got your chance Harry – now don’t blow it.”
This was less a meeting of minds, and more a rendezvous of rules; an opportunity for the King and his advisers to enforce upon Harry the reality that if so much as a word leaked from this or future meetings then any bridges built will have been bombed.
As a result all that the media was briefed was that a 55-minute meeting took place at Clarence House over tea. That’s all the detail we have. We will never even know if Harry took sugar.
And of course public interest/intrusion into the Royals’ relationships lies behind the collapse of the one between father and son. One of Harry’s oft-repeated gripes about his family is that they didn’t do enough to protect him and his mother from the public gaze when he was growing up. On that he is almost certainly right. His parents allowed their marriage to break down in full view, with briefings and counter-briefings, until it resembled an up-market EastEnders.
Then in recent years it has been Harry who has shared with the public too much about Royal life and his scowling views of it.
For a Royal Family – and in this I count both father and son – which so often claims to dislike the media’s intrusion, they (or their advisers) have certainly done plenty over the years to provoke it. Or, as they might describe it, to “control the narrative”.
Harry’s life over the past five years since quitting Britain has involved a tell-all book, a tell-all interview with Oprah Winfrey, and a tell-all sit down with the BBC earlier this year. Perhaps he has learnt it his time to tell-less.
Certainly if he wants a full reconciliation with his father – and a route back to Britain at some point in the future – it is going to be essential.
One might argue that the Royal Family is out to buy Harry’s future silence – not with actual hard cash but with the security and comfort that comes from being part of any family. Plus, there’s the status and ensuing financial benefits that come from being part of a Royal Family.
This may not matter too much to Harry, who said in January that he didn’t “think it is ever going to be possible” to return to the Royal Family. But reportedly he wants his children Prince Archie, six, and four-year-old Princess Lilibet to have the option of becoming working Royals. And we can be quite certain his wife Meghan wants at least a smattering of Royal fairy dust on those As Ever cupcakes she’s knocking up in the Montecito farmhouse kitchen.
And the King too must surely want to have a functioning relationship with his younger son, even if he has been less than enthusiastic about Charles’s marriage to Queen Camilla. Harry was, after all, on the first plane to London when news broke of the King’s cancer diagnosis at the start of last year. It all felt a little performative by Harry, and the King granted his son just half an hour of his time. But still, even that blue blood that streams through Royal veins is thicker than water.
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Yet for the relationship between father and son to develop beyond one cup of tea, Harry is going to have to bite his lip over his father’s refusal to pressure the state into the security arrangements Harry thinks he deserves.
Earlier this year he described the refusal to agree to his security demands as an “establishment stitch-up” and the reason his father was not speaking to him. Dropping his security battle must have felt particularly painful for the Prince on Wednesday night as he sat in gridlocked Tube strike traffic in the rain after his meeting at Clarence House, denied the police escort which once meant he flew through all such inconveniences. Harry finally turned up at his next engagement for Invictus Games almost three quarters of an hour late.
The Prince will also have to bite his lip over the Royal Household’s relationship with the British media he hates. Instead he’ll have to accept that the King’s team will lead the briefings – an understanding presumably reached at the meeting between the two men’s press teams back in May.
And, of course, Harry will have to bite that lip yet again when it comes to his belief his wife was never properly welcomed by the Royals. Can Harry really keep quiet and toe the Royal line in a bid to rebuild the relationship with his father (even if there seems no prospect of reconciliation with William and Kate)?
That lip will be truly mangled.
Alison Phillips is a former editor of the Daily Mirror
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