At the start of the school year, parents have to think about buying new uniforms and equipment, and pupils’ changing timetables, but they also have to keep their offspring healthy and happy too.
The autumn term is always a time of transition for children, even if they are only going up a year. There’s the upheaval of getting used to a new class, a new teacher or changes in friendship groups since the summer holidays. And going back to a strict routine after six or so weeks of freedom can cause quite a lot of angst for everyone.
Maintaining a child’s health when they return to school doesn’t just mean physically, but also mentally and emotionally. These are the things you should pay attention to:
Sleep is essential for good cognitive function, concentration and mental and physical health. It is a proactive process where our memories are laid down each night, emotions are processed and cells repaired.
But a child’s sleep can easily be disrupted. Bedtime routines may have changed during the holidays, they may have been using electronic devices more in the evenings and they won’t necessarily have had to get up early.
Start getting them back into their school sleep routine a few days before the start of term to make it less painful for everyone. The NHS recommends between nine and 11 hours’ sleep per night for children aged six to 13, and eight to 10 hours for older teenagers.
Establish a wind-down routine with calming activity before bed and ensure that any screens are turned off for a couple of hours.
Help your child make good food choices (Photo: Aleksandar Nakic/Getty)Nutrition
Keep an eye on sugary or fast foods eaten at school or on the way home. Eating as a family together – and not in front of the television – can help children to eat more slowly and therefore notice when they are full.
Encourage your child to get more interested in healthy options by cooking with you if possible or – if they are old enough – cooking an easy recipe one night a week under your supervision. This can help to develop their sense of independence.
The new term can bring a peak of colds and coughs in school because of all the mixing together. Encourage your child to wash their hands properly with soap and water and to catch sneezes in a tissue.
Support them if they are going through specific physical changes, such as starting their periods or needing a bra, to help them feel confident and to get to know and look after their bodies.
The basics
Make sure your child has had a recent eye test and all necessary medical check-ups, vaccinations and dental appointments.
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Physical exercise is one of the most important things you can encourage a child to do. Being active reduces stress and anxiety, improves sleep and appetite and builds confidence and self-esteem. Make sure it is something they enjoy and is led by them. Maybe start walking to school or trying a new activity or hobby. A parent leading by example and being as active as possible is really effective.
Speak to the school
If your child has specific health needs, enable them and the school staff to feel confident about them. Get involved with any wellbeing initiatives or physical activities that parents can take part in.
Mental
A new year can trigger anxiety, especially if your child has unresolved issues with school work or friends. If you notice any problems with their sleep or behaviour, address them quietly in a gentle way. Ask them how they are feeling and be proactive in listening to them, whatever they say. Just talking it out can be a huge help.
Develop strategies
Identify if there are any points in their school week that trigger worries and help them to solve the problems. You cannot be at school with them all the time, but you can help them to develop strategies for coping, such as a simple breathing exercise, a “time out” when they focus on one sense (a smell, for example), or a “worry time” with you each evening, so that they can put those thoughts to one side if they have come up during the day.
One coping mechanism for back-to-school stress is to encourage your child to say positive things about themselves to themselves. This can build confidence and self-esteem.
Maybe practice with them at first, or encourage them to write down their positive affirmations in a notebook or on their phone, so they can look at them if they are worried at school, or being self-critical.
Create boundaries
Some year groups will have exams this term. Working towards a goal is great for our mental health, but if we are too stressed for too long, or our studies are overwhelming, we become less productive, find it harder to concentrate and our wellbeing suffers. Ensure that your child takes regular breaks from revision, has defined periods for school work and for relaxation, and ensure that they have other things to think about too.
You can help your child get ready for a new year (Photo Jelena Danilovic/Getty)Technology is a great tool for school, and vital for learning the skills needed for a career. However, there are downsides to too much exposure to the digital world.
Negotiate with your child about what kind of tech they need to use and how and when they use it. Set boundaries on when they must put away any phones and tablets and stop gaming.
Be open and let them know they can talk to you at any time about what they have seen online and how it has made them feel. Learn how to place age-appropriate restrictions on websites and, importantly, follow your rules and set a good example.
Aspirations
We sometimes focus solely on children “surviving” at school and forget to ask them about their hopes and dreams – not just limited to careers or academia, but about who they are as a person.
Make time to sit down with them and ask them what they love, what makes them happy and what they would like to bring into their lives. Having a goal is a protective factor for our wellbeing.
Creativity can give us respite from our worries, encourage problem-solving, reduces stress and open us up to new ideas. School days can be creative, but children also need free, unstructured and unmonitored time.
Encourage your child to make time for that, whether it be coding, gardening, baking, drawing, music or model-making. Urge them not to think about any outcomes from what they are doing, but to try new things to improve their confidence.
Friends
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Friendships are really important, but in school these interactions can sometimes change, especially as a result of social media. Friendship groups may alter over the summer holidays. It can be helpful for your child’s emotional health, if possible, to meet up with friends just before they all go back to class. This can help your child to feel “part of the group”, which is vital at that age.
Learning skills, having adventures and meeting new people can be great for a child’s self-confidence. Ask if there are any new things they would like to get involved with, either in school or outside. Life is all about embracing change.
Down time
The school routine can wear down parents and children alike, and even supposedly “fun activities” can be a drag if you have to be somewhere by a certain time. When we have time just to “be”, without pressure to be busy or productive, our imaginations can thrive. This drives creativity, adaptability and reduces stress. Make sure to give your child time to just “do nothing”.
With so much going on in the world, as well as friendship dramas, peer pressure and social media stress, it can sometimes be hard for a child to see the positives in life.
Research tells us that gratitude is an essential for our wellbeing, and identifying even simple things that have gone well on a particular day can change our perspectives.
Each night, encourage your child to think of three things that have gone well that day; this can boost self-esteem, help them through tough times and allow them to sleep well with a sense of positivity.
Practical
Get organised
A well-organised parent helps a child to feel safe and secure, and encourages them to develop that vital life skill for themselves.
Prepare early for what they might need at school and don’t leave things to the last minute, whether it be clothing, sports equipment, a change in childcare arrangements or a new activity that may alter your work or pick-up routine.
Humans like certainty; too much change or being unsure about things isn’t good for children. Go through their school schedule with them, and put a timetable on your kitchen wall so that you all know what is going on and when, and what supplies might be needed.
Get back to nature (Photo: yaoinlove/Getty)Organise outside activities
We are more mentally and emotionally resilient when we have different groups of friends or activities that are separate from each other. It is the same for children, so encourage them to have different friendship groups at school and to try different activities. An outlet for their self-expression can be really good for their wellbeing.
Scientific research shows that our wellbeing improves when we have things to look forward to. So plan a few highlights with your child for the months ahead, even if they are just small, inexpensive things.
Safety netting
Things don’t always go as planned – so an unexpected problem with childcare or your work diary can cause stress for you and your child. Discuss a simple fall-back plan for when that might happen – how your child could contact you, where they could go, or who could help if you were not able to be around.
This will give them a sense of safety but also allow them (age-dependent, of course) to develop a sense of independence and control.
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Read MoreYou may think that keeping your children healthy is all about them, but it’s not – it’s about you too. Parents or carers often forget about their own health while looking after everyone else.
With your wellbeing comes your children’s, so think about what you need to focus on for you. Is it to get a bit fitter, or to carve out some time to start a new hobby which gives you time from your own worries?
It may just involve being a bit kinder to yourself by not being so self-critical and feeling the need to be perfect all of the time.
Children absorb your feelings and worries, so look after them and manage them as best you can.
Their siblings
If you have other children or other people to look after within your household, then pay attention to any unhealthy dynamic.
Perhaps they haven’t spent much time together bonding, or maybe one child is given slightly more time or focus. Try encouraging them to do things together, or take some time out with one of your children to help them feel secure, special and loved.
You could improve how one child treats the other by having a straight talk with them.
Your extended family can have a positive influence on your child’s wellbeing. Aunts, uncles and grandparents may have a wealth of helpful advice and life experience that your children can benefit from (as well as being an extra childcare option if you are struggling).
Intergenerational relationships are really beneficial for children and make families stronger and closer. Even if that contact cannot be face to face, video calls or social media interactions with family can benefit your child’s wellbeing.
Teachers
It is essential that children develop good and healthy relationships with their teachers.
Not all teachers will be your child’s cup of tea, but it’s great to chat to your child and ask who they feel is supportive and, importantly, who they like.
Feeding this back to that teacher can really help to develop the bond between them, and that teacher can be your child’s “go-to” person when they are having a tough time.
If your child seems to have a problem with a particular member of staff, try talking it through with that teacher, or their head of department, to see if you can make things a bit better.
Parents of friends
One thing that will keep your child well is their friendships, and those become stronger when parents make an effort to befriend their schoolfriend’s parents or carers.
Make an effort to keep in touch with them. It can make life easier for support with travel or activities, or for your child’s safety when they go out and about with their mates.
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