Even if you know your coworkers well and have a great set of friends, being able to connect with others is an important social skill. It allows us to network, make more friends, date, manage various social situations, maintain our social health (which impacts dementia risk) and more. This includes being aware of your body language and listening skills, on top of mirroring back to whomever you're talking to.Yep: "mirroring" is a quick and easy way to connect with others. While therapists may use this technique (which is a solid one), you don’t need their credentials to use it yourself. Ahead, psychologists explain “mirroring” and share six go-to mirroring phrases that anyone can use. You'll be surprised at how seen your friends will feel and how many positive interactions you'll have with this newfound skill.Related: 11 Surprising Phrases That Make You 'Instantly Likable,' Psychologists Say
“Mirroring involves noticing what someone else is doing and interacting in a way that matches them,” saysDr. Brandy Smith, PhD, a psychologist with Thriveworks in Birmingham who specializes in relationships, anxiety and coping skills. “This can include matching energy, language and/or nonverbals.”Assessing, displaying and naming similar emotions in an empathic way is another key piece. “The best way to mirror people is to take your best guess at what they're feeling, name it and then validate it,” says Dr. Avigail Lev, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and the director of the Bay Area CBT Center.What’s so great about mirroring, Dr. Smith continues, is that it can help people feel heard and connected. It’s a way to show empathy, and it can build a stronger relationship—especially when used in a genuine (versus manipulative) way. Naturally, this technique can be useful in a variety of settings. Dr. Smith notes some key examples, such as discussing a serious topic with someone and/or when you want someone to feel extra heard, connected and supported.
6 Mirroring Phrases That Help Build Connections, According to Psychologists
Basically, rephrase what you heard, saying it in your own words, to show that you’re listening and understanding. With this phrase, Dr. Smith emphasizes that you want to show you get what they're saying without “stealing the spotlight.” What this might look like is saying, “It’s like when you know you want to say something but can’t find the words,” instead of “It’s like me yesterday when I couldn’t find the words to what I wanted to say.”While both of those phrases facilitate connection, she says, the first one doesn’t center you unnecessarily. Related: Want to Display Your Active Listening Skills? Try Using These 33 Powerful Phrases
2. "I would think/feel the same way if that happened to me."
That one feels really good to hear, doesn’t it? It’s comforting. It provides solidarity. “Saying this is likely to help the person feel validated,” Dr. Smith says. “It has an added feature of showcasing a similarity between you and the speaker as you are saying you would experience it, akin to how they did, which may foster increased connection.”This is an example of how bringing yourself into the conversation doesn’t always detract from the other person, or can be healing anyway.
This phrase, mentioned by Dr. Lev, addresses three key pieces: the phrase "it makes sense," the labeling of an emotion and the acknowledgement of the underlying cause.She gives a full-out example: “It makes sense that you felt hurt when your boss picked Heather’s project over yours.”You can also deepen the validation by identifying the unmet need. Dr. Lev builds on that same phrase with: “It makes sense that you felt ashamed when your boss said your project wasn’t good because you have a need for appreciation and acknowledgement—and you weren’t appreciated.”The same formula works for more positive feelings too, like, “Of course you felt relieved—you needed to feel safe and supported, and your friend gave you that.”“By naming the emotion and need,” she explains, “you acknowledge the core of the person’s experience.”
Related: If You Answer ‘Yes’ to Any of These 5 Questions, You’re Probably Undervalued at Work, Says a Psychologist
4. "I get/understand where you’re coming from."
While this phrase sounds similar to “I get what you’re saying with that,” it can be used in a different situation: when you don’t necessarily agree with the other person, but want them to feel safe and heard. “This sentence can still be a bridge that communicates you are able to see how the person saw or experienced something,” Dr. Smith says. “Essentially, you are saying, ‘I see how you connected the dots there.’”
Mirroring can involve reflecting what people say and/or what they're likely feeling. “You may not always be accurate in what you reflect back (AKA think you’re hearing),” Dr. Smith adds, “but it still shows effort is being made.” And that’s why adding “it sounds like” is key—it shows that you can’t say for sure, but you’re making an educated guess. You know you may be wrong, and you’re allowing space for the other person to say that.Related: A Psychologist Is Begging You To Stop Using These 2 Phrases at the End of an Argument
6. "I wish your boss would treat you with respect."
This is another example of a deepening phrase, Dr. Lev says, that communicates care and advocacy. It’s mirroring in that it rephrases the person’s experiences and feelings, and it adds additional empathy.“By combining these layers—naming feelings, naming needs, validating them, sharing the impact on you and expressing compassionate wishes—you create a multi-dimensional mirroring experience that makes people feel deeply seen, understood and cared for,” she explains.Up Next:
Related: 9 Empathic Phrases To Adopt To Be a Better Listener, According to a Psychologist
Sources:
Dr. Brandy Smith, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in relationships, anxiety and coping skillsDr. Avigail Lev, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologistHence then, the article about 6 mirroring phrases that will help you instantly connect with others according to psychologists was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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