A couple of years ago, there was a trend for people to take photos of their glamorous holiday views and caption them on social media with “vitamin sea”, “life’s a beach” (under a shot of a blue ocean), or “wish you were beer”, accompanied by a snap of the local lager.
At the time, it was a slightly more subtle way of telling friends and followers you were on holiday, more subtle anyway than one of you “holding up” the Leaning Tower of Pisa; but they became clichés and I don’t reckon many would do it now unless they were being ironic.
One of the more irritating examples was “out of office ON” written over a stunning Caribbean island vista, but it did lead me to think about what I should put on my own automated reply email, and it has exercised me for the last few breaks I’ve been on with my husband and two boys.
It’s not that I become antisocial when I’m on holiday, or that I stop caring about stories that people might tip me off about. I’d just like the correspondent to wait – if they can – until I’m back.
If I’m honest, I always feel pressure to respond immediately, and on a vacation, the only pressure I want is wondering when it’s an acceptable time to have that first glass of rosé.
A few summers ago, I tried the standard:
“I’m away until the 4th of August so won’t be able to reply til then. Kind regards, Victoria”
I still got loads of messages and chases to messages, and only a tiny percentage actually needed my attention more than the Greek salad I’d just ordered. So I tweaked it a bit, and sowed a tiny seed of doubt in the sender…
“I’m away until the 4th of August, and won’t be reading any messages, so please do email me then. Kind regards, Victoria”
I was trying to get the correspondent to take responsibility for their request. Of course they couldn’t know I was on a break when they wrote and sent the email, but now they do, perhaps they could make a note in their diary if it’s important, to email me again when I’m back?
Still no luck. My inbox was chock-full of chases and my mind distracted. So this year, I went with the nuclear option. A friendly opening – and ending – but with a sting in the middle…
“Hi there… I’m out of the office, and sadly your email will automatically be deleted. If it’s really important, please do text, or would you mind resending your email on Aug 12 please? Thank you so much. Victoria“
Anyway, it has worked. For me anyway.
Psychologically the key to it is that the emailer can no longer rest assured that their missive will be sitting there unread, but very much still there, in my inbox, waiting for a reply when I get back home. They need to make a decision on its level of importance and urgency.
I need to level with you: I don’t actually know how to set an auto-delete email, or even if it’s possible. But the senders didn’t know that.
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Anyone who doesn’t resend their email… well, it can’t have been that significant can it? And it’s meant I haven’t worried about replying to any of the correspondence – because the responsibility is on the sender to get back in touch if they really want to.
I’m not being harsh or unfair, I promise, and I don’t want to let anyone down, but it was about removing a little bit of angst for me, from what should be a happy week away from non-family stuff.
And I could have been way more severe: others have gone for the quite rude OOO – appealing to the sender to have some perspective – like this:
“For any urgent matters please take a deep breath because only a few things are.”
It’s true but too brutal for me.
In 2014, the Daimler car company offered their staff an optional auto-delete out-of-office reply, featuring a message like:
“I am on vacation. I cannot read your email. Your email is being deleted. Please contact Hans or Monika if it’s really important, or resend the email after I’m back in the office. Danke Schoen.”
Many praised the initiative as groundbreaking, but the real reason was clear when the German firm announced it – it was to help employees maintain their work/life balance, which would improve their performance in the long run.
And last week? I did manage to relax while on holiday, thanks for asking, but could someone now come up with something for WhatsApp? Or do I just have to delete the app altogether? Muting notifications and changing my status from “Hey there I’m using WhatsApp” to “Hey there I’m not in the office for a bit” is all well and good, but people mostly still expect a swiftish reply. I’ll have to figure that one out next year.
Victoria Derbyshire is a journalist and broadcaster
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