Lorrie Morgan is opening up about her husband's death for the first time.
On June 1, the beloved country star announced that her husband of 15 years, Randy White, had died from cancer at the age of 72.
"Randy has been my partner and my rock for 17 years. Our big, wonderful family and I are devastated at the loss of this truly kind and incredible man. I was blessed by his love. Ran-Ran, I will love and miss you forever," Morgan said in a statement at the time.
Two month after White's passing, Morgan opened up to People about her grieving journey.
"It's been a tough year, and there's days I just still can't believe he's not going to come in the door. I go out and look at where his garden used to be, and I'm heartbroken," Morgan said during her first interview since losing her husband. "There's nobody that could compare or take Randy's place."
According to Morgan, her late husband was rarely ill throughout their marriage. So when his nagging sinus issues were diagnosed as cancer in April 2024, it was "earth-shattering," she said.
Though the singer and her team arranged for him to receive treatment at a top cancer center, White insisted on being treated locally near their small Tennessee town. However, Morgan claims his treatment was administered incorrectly, and she believes that radiation he received "in the wrong spot in his mouth" led to the formation of a hole that never healed.
"He went through months of radiation and chemo, and he just declined and declined," she said. "He was on tube feeding because he couldn't eat anything through his mouth because of the damn hole in the back of his throat. It was his decision, his body, I got it, but it's not where I wanted him to be, and not where his close friends wanted him to be."
White was eventually moved into hospice where he spent his final days surrounded by family. In their final moments together, Morgan and White were asleep in his hospital bed when she left quietly to go to the bathroom. In the short time she was away, White died.
Morgan says she feels as though "he waited for me not to be there" to pass away.
"We had everybody toast to him and tell their memories," Morgan said of the family's last memories. "They say that the last thing to go is the hearing, so we know that he heard us all expressing our love."
Only days after White died, Morgan performed a handful of shows, and says now she didn't have much of a choice when it came to performing, as bills need to be paid. She doesn’t remember those performances and says she's "still agonizing over where my safety place is."
Morgan, who released her album Dead Girl Walking last year and has tour dates scheduled through February, credits her band members with keeping her occupied on the road with cards and games, as well as her friends and family with keeping her spirits up.
Despite this, still struggles with guilt over her late husband's treatment.
"There's days I'm angry and I'm mad at myself for not putting my foot down and saying, 'No, you’re going here.' He was just determined," she said "I talk to him. Most of the time I'm mad at him, and I apologize, and I'm like, 'I'm sorry I couldn't save you.'"
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